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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to break bad?

208 replies

ConciseQueen · 03/02/2024 21:13

I’m thinking of going to the dark side. Crime can pay a lot. And I am skint.

So, from Monday, I am a gun for hire. I’ll need a crew.

Any bad dudes with me?

OP posts:
Original poster
ConciseQueen · 03/02/2024 22:16

We could take the bank manager hostage, march him to the expensive soup shop and make him buy a round of soup for us all. We can leave him tied up to the half a roll.

OP posts:
RedDoughnut · 03/02/2024 22:10

We need to steal vegetables and stock cubes!

There is a tiny cafe near me small village (not London)that sells a bowl of soup and "half a bread roll and butter" for....£6.95!

That's bloody robbery

Newtoniannechanics · 03/02/2024 22:05
Grin
AntonFeckoff · 03/02/2024 22:04

Newtoniannechanics · 03/02/2024 22:02

I am logging this with 111.

OOoOooOoOoh I’m scared

Newtoniannechanics · 03/02/2024 22:02

I am logging this with 111.

AntonFeckoff · 03/02/2024 22:02

I am the danger

locket2009 · 03/02/2024 22:00

I'm in but out for anything with trip wires I'm far too clumsy

Could be the get away driver though my dh says being in the car with me is like being on the mad mouse

locket2009 · 03/02/2024 21:58

Surely we need Barry grant @UnctuousUnicorns

FuckingHellAdele · 03/02/2024 21:56

ConciseQueen · 03/02/2024 21:53

We are equal opportunities - all hormone levels welcome.

Grab a sparkly balaclava, collect your vitamins and sit tight with a decaf.

We’ll need weapons. Who’s packing?

Show quote history

I have some seriously badass knitting needles, purchased for an ill advised attempt at joining my local Stitch 'N Bitch group, and a chefs blowtorch.

confusedbythesystem · 03/02/2024 21:56

We can carry the loot away in our Roka backpacks, The rozzers won't suspect a thing.

Jeffjefftyjeff · 03/02/2024 21:56

I’m in!
my special skill is ..err…gardening. I could swing a shovel about menacingly? Grow drugs in my polytunnel for you to sell from the sweet shop once you’ve taken it over?

QuestionableMouse · 03/02/2024 21:55

I cam write ransom notes! Gotta put my education to use at some point 😬😂😂

Original poster
ConciseQueen · 03/02/2024 21:55

Yes, yes to crypto-crime and blue rinse gangsterism.

OP posts:
Faz469 · 03/02/2024 21:55

I can provide the guard dog.... rottweiler!

Can also bring the baby to provide a screaming distraction 🤣

Teasie123 · 03/02/2024 21:54

@ConciseQueen woohoo!!! I have an old blender that has a mind of it's own.

🤔🤔🤔🫣🫣🫣

elQuintoConyo · 03/02/2024 21:54

I live near Marbella, I'll open my doors to anyone fleeing, Sext Beast style.

WinterDeWinter · 03/02/2024 21:54

I can do really great face painting for disguise purposes. Tigers, Elsa, generic unicorn - name it, I can do it.

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 03/02/2024 21:53

poetrylover · 03/02/2024 21:50

Have you seen good girls? I'm kind of in love with the baddie from that. I'll do anything if I can have him' 🙈

Do you have glorious boobies like Beth?
They would be useful as a distraction to witnesses or to create a diversion.

Original poster
ConciseQueen · 03/02/2024 21:53

Teasie123 · 03/02/2024 21:49

@ConciseQueen , I'm Perri menopausal, can I still join?!

We are equal opportunities - all hormone levels welcome.

Grab a sparkly balaclava, collect your vitamins and sit tight with a decaf.

We’ll need weapons. Who’s packing?

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 03/02/2024 21:52

Can I suggest Hell's Grannies as a disguise? We can distract people by getting them to explain the banking app in great detail and looking confused about paying IN cash using the machine? but really we are hardcore thugs.

Threecrows · 03/02/2024 21:51

I’d like to strike a blow against the patriarchy while making loads of cash…

I’m a nosey bugger, with IT skills.

I reckon we catfish some cocklodgers/ domestic abusers and get them to invest all their money into our crypto currency.

if the catfishing doesn’t work, hack into their social media and blackmail them with all the shit we’d undoubtedly find on them.

We split the cash between us, but give a percentage to Women’s aid. Kind of like Robin Hood and his merry men- but women.

but let’s buy and HQ on a tax haven on the Caymen islands. No camping in Sherwood Forest for us!

Merryoldgoat · 03/02/2024 21:51

Gazelda · 03/02/2024 21:47

Decaf to keep alert. Perhaps we should all be taking vitamins, to get us in the best shape for the heist?

Show quote history

Glucosamine for joints?

poetrylover · 03/02/2024 21:50

Have you seen good girls? I'm kind of in love with the baddie from that. I'll do anything if I can have him' 🙈

Teasie123 · 03/02/2024 21:49

@ConciseQueen , I'm Perri menopausal, can I still join?!