to break bad?

My walking stick is pretty sturdy; I could swing it and give some poor rozzer sod a fairly hefty whack, I reckon. Especially now the cops are no longer 6' 4" but as likely to be short arses like me; I can reach them now. Plus don't forget they're all like teletubbies in their heavy Kevlar gear, so they're probably not much faster than me.

I also have a 4 berth touring caravan at my disposal, on our drive. Could cram plenty of us in there for hiding.

Whatever you decide on, if we can wait a bit til the weather improves I could squeeze some ill gotten gains on the line with the lab coats (natural bleach from the sun of course, defo not darked on and guaranteed no visible peg marks) after a quick rinse before the sale.

Being a keen re-use/re-cycler I also have a load of mn scarves too we can use as swagbags at the heist and then again at the booty to identify one another.

I'll be your Smurf and I'll have an apple pie ready for when you all get back from the job 🥧

Ooh, can I join?!? I've just done my first aid at work certificate with st Johns so I can do some basic bandaging and know when to call for an ambulance if things go pear shaped. I'd also be very happy to run the money laundering car boot - might need some accounting help so as not to be accidently honest about the takings

Car boot sale. Great excuse for a spring clear out and perfect cover for money laundering. Also tombolas, although I'll be honest, I struggle to understand the rules.

There is also bitcoin. I expect it needs a QR code and a team of teenagers with iphones to implement. We can just irrationally ground them until they've put all the systems in place.

Cash purchase of one of those Unique Properties MNers are so good at finding. Hide out, chuck out alll the creepy dolls and ceiling mirrors, replace the bathroom, turn a profit.

I'm in! Post-menopausal, early 60's but not quite fully invisible due to being rather tall ( people assume I'm not there then walk into me and apologise in a puzzled manner).

Can see over tall objects or reach items off a high shelf.

I do need a regular pit stop due to a sensitive bladder. Ooo should I start practising with a SheWee in case we're on a long stakeout?

Not sure on the laundering, but when drying it afterwards we should use a dehumidifier. They are so much better than tumbledriers in the winter.

Or maybe a heated airer from Lakeland?

if Anyone needs a weapon I am looking for an excuse to move DHs golf clubs out of the hall.

Me me me!

Although I only do 25m, so any closer or further away than that and I’m afraid I’ll have to politely decline.

But if you take the right, I’ll take the left. We can have a flask of tea and some nibbles in between us 😊

Not too much tea though. I’m not a big fan of the whole “not moving even to pee” thing! 😳

Although lying still for hours, and people watching both come under my core skill set.

"Guys, guys … what about laundering all of our ill gotten gains?"

I just assumed we would give them a good rinse in our penis beakers.

A succession of coffee mornings

I wanna come and play!!
All great ideas and such a skill set!

I love a spreadsheet. I'm sure we'll need a spreadsheet to keep track of the plans.

Also a keen baker so can bring snacks and have an air fryer.

Work with kids so pretty good negotiation skills and great at hide and seek!

Do we need some kinda uniform?!?

Electric saw? Is this for ... persuasion purposes?

I'm a bit squeamish for torturing but I can volunteer a large tub of lego if that's helpful. Didn't they use Barney the purple dinosaur for torture? I expect Peppa Pig at full volume may be even more effective.

I love doing rotas too! Thought It was just me being weird and nerdy..
Can I play with electric saw whilst we're out? I'm not trusted with one at home 😂

@ArabellaScott I too have slept on it and have fully charged my electric saw.

I'm also great at organising group events like bingo or history walks, so if we do a few heists, surplus volunteers won't be bored.

I just love doing rotas.

This thread has made me anxious - but I'm a people pleaser so I have a leaf blower I can lend you all if that's any help?

Calling for duty as a sniper- I'm an excellent shot at the range. But all targets need to be to the right of me- I'm short sighted in the left! So even better if we can have a sniper who's long sighted in the left- we'll make a perfect team!

Having slept on it I have realised this thread is a terrible idea, OP, you know its going to be screenshotted and used as evidence?!

We need to be more crafty.

I can do craft. I've got a drawer full of playdough tools, glitter and spangly pipe cleaners and I know how to put on a big shirt backwards.

Literally the best thing on the internet right now. Count me in. I have an air fryer, know someone who can sort us out with the really fancy battery-powered Nerf guns (plus goggles, safety first) & drive a stupidly big mum taxi (with booster seats if needed). I can bring brownies but might need a non-speaking role (I grew up in East London in the 80s & apparently have an accent that makes everyone feel like I’m about to sell them a fridge that fell off the back of a lorry. To he fair I probably could arrange that if useful…).

WHIT MAKE IS THE CAMPERVAN

Ooh can I join in?

My super powers are:

Small but unbelievably solid - I could perhaps be used for ballast/to anchor things to in the event of a strong wind.

I make fantastic cheese scones.

Being many years post-menopause, I too have gained my cloak of invisibility.

I could almost literally talk anyone to death.

On the downside I am a bit squeamish, so if there's a blood'n'guts department, bagsy not going there please thank you.

Elon Musk it is then 🤣🤣