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Original poster

Useless at looking after my children on my own

182 replies

Grapeyexpectations · 01/02/2024 19:59

Husband away on extended work trip. Children aged 4 and 7. Work full time. Only 4 days in of 3 weeks and I'm absolutely shattered.

Our days go like this:
5.40am get up, feed and take out dogs. Shower, pack school and work bags, make breakfast, get children up and dressed, have breakfast.
6.45am leave for school
8.00am work until 4.30pm, break of about 30 minutes at lunchtime
4.30pm pick up children, calm fraught nerves and tears (miss their dad)
5.45pm arrive home. Unpack bags, make dinner, feed and clean cats, have dinner with children, make packed lunches and organise clothes for morning, clean kitchen, take out dogs.
8pm bedtime routine and reading
9pm children bedtime. I fall asleep with them.

Why is this so hard? I'm already short tempered and feel like I'm failing my children.

OP posts:
IgnoranceNotOk · 01/02/2024 20:05

I remember having dogs and it’s just another job on the list with walking and means you’re up earlier and have less break after work.
is there anyone who could help you a bit whilst he’s away? Or just do a dog walk?

Can you get some easy meals the kids will eat? Micro curry or batch cook some so it’s on the table within 5 mins of being home?
Then get them to bed as soon as possible so you can have an hour to wind down in the evenings?

On days off, is there anyone around to help or spend time with so it doesn’t feel as much of a drudge?

KateyCuckoo · 01/02/2024 20:04

Who has the dogs during the day? Do they need going out first thing and last thing if they're at doggy daycare or whatever?

JudgeJ · 01/02/2024 20:04

Find a dog walker or put them into kennels for three weeks, as you probably would do going on holiday.

Traumdeuter · 01/02/2024 20:03

That’s a massive journey to school. I am assuming that you usually share drop off and pick up which makes it easier on you both?

Naptrappedmummy · 01/02/2024 20:03

No advice, I’m useless as well. I have a 4 year old and 10 month old and dread any length of time looking after them without DP there. I start every day with the best of intentions but end up losing my patience by about 8am.

Is it really 1hr drive home from school? That seems awfully long. I would be tempted to buy some food from a shop en route to pick up (some fruit, yoghurts, precooked eggs or meat, pastries) and let them gorge on the way home. Means they’ve already eaten by the time you get back.

PutMyFootIn · 01/02/2024 20:03

It's hard because your one person doing the job of 3 people.

Your full time job is one job
Being a mum is another job, that makes 2
Being a dad is another job, that makes 3 because you're doing that job too.

Bythefireside · 01/02/2024 20:01

Why does it take so long to get to and from school?