Useless at looking after my children on my own

Oh and I'd stop the packed lunches. Can't your kids have school dinners?

That is a long day for everyone! I'd seriously consider putting the dogs in kennels to free up some precious time. Or get a dog walker to come round for 2x 30 min walks. The dogs won't hate you, we frequently get regular dogs in when a partner is away for work. To them they are on holiday.... At our kennels anyway.

I gather the school is closer to your work than home? Do you all work/school over an hour away but usually share?

Batch cook at the weekend.

Make two days lunches in one go.

Kids unpack bags.

I feel your pain. My husband is about to spend an extended period of time away and I’ll be looking after 8 y/o and 2y/o

I'm already depressed about it and dh doesn’t go for another 2 weeks. I’m just down at all the incoming drudge work.

My kids are fine - the work it takes to keep a house running is definitely not my idea of a good time.

You must all be exhausted op.

Can you walk the dog later? Ours goes in the garden for 10 minutes on a morning then gets his walk when DH finishes work.

Can you change school? That really is a long commute.

Shower at night?

9pm is far too late for bedtime. The kids need more sleep and you need more time to yourself in the evening.

Why leave so early? The pets are the issue, the children really aren’t.

I am actually going to get a bit cross with you, @Grapeyexpectations - because you are NOT useless at looking after your children on your own! As a previous poster has said, you are coping with your job, and doing the work of both parents on your own - and you and the children are all fed, clean, at work/school - that is the polar opposite of useless, in my book!

Op you have such an early morning and as someone said you’re doing the jobs of two/three people! I’m torn on the fact you get lunches ready and clean the kids before the kids go to bed, id say that’s where the guilt comes from, because you’re running about stressed then bed time routine. Saying that you’re up so early! (I’m sorry I’m crap at this!!) Would an 8 o clock bedtime help and do your lunches etc after? We all feel we’re failing op (sorry I do anyway). There’s just not enough time in the day! I’d echo you need some time to yourself, even a half hour after they go to bed where you read/watch a sitcom or do something for you! It’s so difficult to do but so satisfying if you do something you really want to do x hugs op

That sounds crazy. As well as all the cats and dogs you are definitely doing 3 jobs there. Do you have any family nearby who can help? I’d definitely look at kennels and cattery

Can the kids have school dinners?
The youngest should be entitled to free ones, that frees up a job.

Dog walker

Cleaner

Iron work/school clothes on a weekend, put together in piles so easy accessible for everyone to pick a pile and put on.

I agree, especially at 4yo.

Actually looking at your timings they may be in breakfast and after school club already, sorry.

Who looks after the children while you are walking the dogs morning and evening?

Your children must be exhausted. They are up and out of the house by 6.45am and don't get to bed until 9pm??

This sounds like insanely long days. I would absolutely be losing my shit if I had to get up at 5.45am for any reason. But every day?!

There's nothing wrong with you. Working full time with children and pets is exhausting....even more exhausting if you're on your own. You're not doing anything wrong

That sounds totally exhausting. Is there an after school/ breakfast club that the children could go to a couple of days a week to give you some time back/ one less meal to sort out? Also can you have a few cheats every week - takeaway/ oven pizza/ pastries in the car for breakfast to lessen the food prep and clear up?

An hour and 15 mins travel home from
school. Why is it so long? Your children must also be exhausted if they’re not going to bed until 9 pm.

It’s hard when you’re doing it solo, hope you’re ok.

One thing I find helps out massively is getting things ready the night before, uniforms out and ready, school and work bags packed and ready so you’re able to just grab them when heading the door. I feel stupid amounts of time get wasted when it’s done on the actual morning.

I bet the 1hr 15min journey home from school pick up is a killer! So I don’t blame you feeling fraught after that.

Try and take the pressure off yourself, simple meals etc
Could you also try taking just half an hour to yourself once the children are asleep with a hot drink just to unwind before bed?

That’s a full on schedule. Agree with others, can you outsource any aspect of the pets? And / or can anyone help with pick up or drop off of the kids? Can you take a day or two of annual leave while your husband is away?

Yeah this is a good idea. Or if they’ve had a hot meal at school then I send a packed lunch to after school club so that’s tea done and it’s just a rice cake, yogurt or fruit when we get back if they’re hungry.

Who looks after dogs during the day? I'd cut out the early morning walk and ask the dogminder to do it.

Do you need to get up so early?