Useless at looking after my children on my own

That’s a tad dramatic when her dh is only away for 3 weeks 😂

I think OP probs should make some changes long term in relation to the children’s bedtimes, but I think she’s had a bit of a hard time here as I don’t know if people have grasped that this is a temporary situation.

Well done OP, you’ve got through the first working week, this time next week you’ll have most of it behind you!

OP, little tips and tricks can’t help you. Your life needs big changes and since you’re posting here I think you know it.

Your rural lifestyle is insane. You need to move - this isn’t getting any easier. In fact as your DC grow it’s only going to get much much harder until they can drive

you don’t need dogs, good lord. You have a neighbour that’s around, that’s enough security. It’s not fair on the animals either. Give away/euthanise.

you need a more flexible job if your DH travels for work. Teaching will drain your soul for little reward

Plenty of kids have an hour's commute if they go to an independent school, a school near parent's work, a workplace nursery,, etc esp if on public transport. The kids are fine, they probably read or listen to stories and are tucked up warm and dry in a car.

I don't know any 4 year old who has a day like OP describes. Up at 6.30, an hour in the car, a fifteen minute walk, a full day at school until 4.30, the same journey home and not getting to bed until 9pm. That's extreme.

I agree with this.

I wouldn't want to waste 2 hours plus of my day 5 days a week driving. It's adds up to so much wasted time that could be spent doing so many other, more enjoyable, things.

Having a shorter commute for you and your children would transform your lives.

Well it just doesn’t work with only one adult does it? It’s not that you’re useless and it’s reasonable that you’re shattered.

My immediate thoughts were that the commute is too long and the kids bedtime is too late but you are clear the commute can’t change and you are aware the kids bed time is late.

It's no surprise that you're tired during this period of being a lone parent who works full time. Thankfully it's only for 3 weeks so you don't need to think about making permanent changes like you would have to if this was your life.

A couple of things stood out to me.

There are over 3 hours between when you arrive home and when the kids go to sleep. Try and find a way to shorten that. Easy, quick meals (as has been suggested). And does the "bedtime routine" really need to take a whole hour?

Also, 5:45 is on the early side to have to get up, but not out of the ordinary. (I did it for many years myself.) But if you're going to sleep at 9pm you're getting nearly 9 hours sleep! I know you're tired, but do you really need that much? If you can take a little time for yourself to relax after the kids are in bed that would do you a world of good. If you go to sleep at 10 you would still get almost 8 hours sleep.

Plenty of kids have an hour's commute if they go to an independent school, a school near parent's work, a workplace nursery,, etc esp if on public transport. The kids are fine, they probably read or listen to stories and are tucked up warm and dry in a car.

The point is OP is worn out solo parenting for quite a long time - I do it regularly and don't know how single parents do it. It can be so hard. Give yourself a break, use whatever cheats you can afford and try to find moments of cuddles and games that make it worthwhile.

Cooked lunch at school, substantial car snacks and then a top up of toast, hummus, pitta, etc when home. Stop properly cooking unless you batch at the weekend.

Your drive is the killer to be honest. 2.5 hour commuting is too long for anyone on a regular basis, never mind when you are solo parenting.

You can't change your location overnight of course, but long term I'd be questioning moving closer to school.

We get home at 6pm two evenings a week and the kids are in bed by 7.30 (normal bedtime is 7pm). Sleep helps.

Eh… some of these suggestions are ridiculous. Changing jobs… kenneling the dogs…etc for a short term situation.

It's not all short-term, though. OP says the kids go to the school she teaches at, so they have that commute every single day even when their dad is home.

The dogs being kennelled was a suggestion to take a weight off her mind while she juggles everything else. I don't think it's so outrageous.

Eh… some of these suggestions are ridiculous. Changing jobs… kenneling the dogs…etc for a short term situation.

I think you’re going to be fine, the kids will settle into your DH being gone, the dogs are getting enough, nobody will die if you make a few shortcut meals, and it will become easier.

Take the suggestions like laying out multiple days of clothes, pick your battles on what gets done, have leftovers for dinner a couple of nights, skip a bath night, etc.

That sounds absolutely exhausting OP! I don't know what the answer is but on the 'missing daddy' front would making a countdown calendar help at all? With days to cross off?

Can the children have school dinners? Would cut out the packed lunches and they could have packed lunch style meal in the evening? Or batch cook at the weekend and just reheat in the evening.

Get them to bed at 7.30 / 8.00. The main thing that strikes me is you have no leisure time in the evening. Whenever I have had days like that, I found it so hard mentally. Just an hour would make all the difference. One of ours used to struggle so much with bedtime, but however late it was, I'd always give myself an hour afterwards (or one episode of a TV programme).

Shorten the bedtime routine too if you can. I never insisted on a bath or shower every night - young kids don't get that smelly.

And finally, no I'm not planning on changing schools or changing jobs or anything like that. I feel it's a bit of an overreaction to husband being away for a few weeks

But it's not just for a few weeks, it's for at least the next seven years if your children go to your school longer if it's a private school or something.

I certainly wouldn't be putting my kids through such a gruelling commute unless I had absolutely no other options. It sounds bloody miserable.

Or do you mean closest private school and your kids get a discount to go? Hence it being worth the drive?

Tbh op living that far from school will be having a massive impact on all of yours quality of life and you've got another 7 years of it. You could all be up later, you'd be home earlier so you'd have more quality time. I'd be on Rightmove already and setting up some viewings.

I’m not being facetious I just can’t think of anywhere in the country that is an hours drive from the nearest primary. Possibly the Highlands and Islands but even then you’d have to be quite unluckily situated

Can you meal prep in the weekend? Buy some balance ready meals? Pay a dog walker for a couple of weeks? Can you ask at work if you can finish early and do a couple of hours when they are asleep? The 7 year old can dress themselves surely? Ask them to leave their school uniform ready the night before, and to empty the school bags after school. Good luck xx

I don't think you can be surprised that people are surprised, OP. That's a bloody long day for primary school kids.

out of interest, where does the 15 min walk come into it? Do you have to park a 15 minute walk away from the school that you work at?

The nearest one?! Where do you live, the Himalayas? I can’t think of anywhere I know that is over an hours drive from the nearest primary.