Detention for asking period question

It's also relevant to domestic abuse and relationships, as well as sex and things like choking and anal sex being normalised.

I would definitely say the reason you feel your medical info or bowel movements are private is because of shame yes, as you feel people might judge or blame you for them.
That's the root, where it comes from. And why there are so many campaigns, like Deborah, about the signs of bowel cancer. So my point absolutely stands. It's a real problem and why many medical conditions are missed, because people aren't aware what is and isn't normal and aren't supposed to talk about it. Very relevant to endometriosis and cancer and ibs/ chrons in particular

But it is? The reason people feel the need for privacy is because periods are thought of as shameful

I disagree. It's true that it used to be taboo to talk about periods at all, and that it still is to a certain extent, and that is bad. But the loosening of that taboo doesn't mean women and girls want to talk about their own periods. I wouldn't particularly want to tell everyone about my bowel movements or about the details of medical symptoms or procedures I have had. That's not because there's anything shameful about it. It's because it's intimate and private information.

its ridiculous that a detention has been given for this

You can’t think of any other reason why someone might want to keep that private? By that logic, people must be ashamed of everything about themselves that they’d rather not share with other people.

I could definitely imagine myself asking this kind of question when I was that age - it genuinely would not have occurred to me that it wasn’t appropriate. I’m autistic, if that makes a difference, and if I learned something new and interesting I would want to talk about it.

All I needed in these circumstances was for someone to explain that we don’t ask people that; I would be embarrassed but wouldn’t do it again.

Willing to bet your relative is not an innocent little angel, but someone stomping over someone else's personal boundaries

And exactly what evidence is there for that about this Year 6 girl? Dear me!!

This^
It doesn’t matter what we think if the school and families live practically in a different world from all of us. We compare the situation with a normal state primaries whereas here we have a private very religious school which has its own rules.
It didn’t matter how the slip looked, and how it all became known to OP. The main piece of information about type of school was missing, and it’s very annoying.
I’ve googled Plymouth Brethren Christian church. If it’s this I’m not surprised that detention was issued.

I don’t think that’s true @Boomboom22 there are literally TONS of things that I’m not ashamed of that I don’t share with everyone.

But it is? The reason people feel the need for privacy is because periods are thought of as shameful, and that it would be very very bad for eg someone to know the girls sister had started early/ not started yet. The reason the question is considered inappropriate and private is because of the shame around being 'unclean' or being old enough to possibly get pregnant.

What? I wasn’t even talking about OP’s relative’s parents, or OP’s relative. I’m talking about full-grown women here who think telling a girl that it’s inappropriate to ask about someone’s period is sending the message that “periods are shameful and shouldn’t be mentioned.”

Wow IusedtoliveinSanFransisco do you really condone the teacher’s reaction? How is the question inappropriate? What’s so shaming about having a period?? What about normalising it? The kid was obviously still taking in the lesson and asked an intelligent question based upon the information just gathered… Making her feel bad about asking it is taking women back to the Middle Ages!!?

As always on mumsnet, teachers can do no wrong! Although everyone finds the teacher’s reaction ridiculous instead of saying so, most presume there is more to the story. The parents should challenge this behaviour. She asked an innocuous question and both the other kid and the teacher overreacted. The punishment should be cancelled and the teacher should apologise to the relative. That’s how faith in humanity is restored!!

And for all those saying detention is normal has always been done.

Corporal punishment was normal once upon a time too. Shall we go back to hitting children with canes because they do not have the ability to spell fast enough?!

and no other country uses pointless empty punishment in school as it has been proven to achieve the exact opposite! All it does is breed apathy and defiance.

Kick off with the school name and shame raise with the local MP and do not let her sit a detention!

That is the patriarchy at work right there!

Talking about Periods needs to be normalised!

Also I have not heard of Primary schools being able to issue detentions!

So Kick off and make your point to normalise reality!

Long live feminism!

You don't know what happened. Forty years ago a group of bully boys and girls in my school went around asking people if they farted and whether had they started their periods. They weaponised what they had learned into bullying. If your relative was sensitive enough to apologise immediately (doubt it), but the child still started crying and it came to teacher attention? Willing to bet your relative is not an innocent little angel, but someone stomping over someone else's personal boundaries.

I think the school have completely over-reacted. This should have been a small conversation without sanctions.

But I suppose it would have been fine if she’d have asked if she was non binery. The worlds gone mad.

Sounds absolutely bizarre! Especially at an all girls' school, you'd expect them to be more open and feminist!!

Also periods are not a medical issue. They are not comparable to cancer. All women have them.

At secondary schools most have bags of sanitary stuff for free in every toilet. In the pshe office and all the year team offices are boxes and boxes more. Its not a secret to hide.

It's a break time detention. Even reception kids sometimes stay back if they need to tidy up / hit someone. Sometimes they go to the heads office. Has always been the case in English state primaries, when I was at school to now.

I have no idea why posters are confused by this? Maybe they don't call it detention. But it is the same thing, missing all or part of their play time as a negative punishment to ensure they avoid that behaviour in future.

It really wasn’t polite to ask such a question about somebody who wasn’t present. She’s just missing a break, and hopefully now she gets why it was inappropriate.
that you put it on a family WhatsApp group. Well that’s kind of yuck why and I think it explains the behaviour of your relative a bit

Good point. I've never heard of a primary school that gives detentions.

It’s sad that periods and women’s bodies are still being loaded with shame and a young girl is punished for being curious about something natural that will happen to her. The school has not responded well by penalising your relative. It might have been better to have had a kind chat with the girl and explain that some people are shy about talking about these things so she needs to be sensitive to that possibility in future.

I don’t have time to read the whole thread but IMO it seems a shame to be penalise for ‘girl talk’, between girls of similar age on a relevant topic.