Wedding clothes dilemma

@RuthW genuinely curious as to why you would care ?

I would do this without a second thought, but I'm not bothered by what I wear or notice other people's clothes much. Only thing to consider is the photos- if your family is as judgmental about people's clothes as you say, they'll definitely notice the same dress and likely comment on it.

So? Would you judge? That's the question.

Why is there a rule (in your mind) that an expensive formal outfit cannot be reworn 3 years later?

I wouldn't as it's the same people. I could remember exactly what you wore

Ha. I'm not a dress person. I've worn my one fancy dress for my brother's wedding, my OWN wedding, several friends' and am planning to get it out for my sister's later this year.

Nobody is going to notice OP

Good for you! Have a lovely day out.

I remarried 4 years ago and my Mum wore the same outfit to my first and second wedding 16 years apart!! Aside from immediate family all the guests were different. We were both impressed that it still fit her after all these years

I think it would be different if one of your other children was marrying and you were re wearing it as a second time MOtheGroom/Bride but for a relative? Totally fine!!

Why would people who love you judge you for something inoffensive as wearing an expensive dress twice three years apart? Are they usually judgemental?

Your response to outfits is "actually, I'm lucky that the beautiful dress I bought for Tom's wedding can have another outing, it was so lovely to wear"

Ireland here! We had a spate of 11 weddings in 16 months. I had 2 dresses, mixed and matched some accessories. Fortunately, some of the weddings had no connection to each other.

DSIL got a lovely new dress for my wedding, she's petite and it is the nicest outfit I've ever seen her wear, quite distinctive in its simplicity and far nicer on her than her wedding dress was. I must have seen it on her at various occasions at least 15 times afterwards, all seasons of the year and she'll have worn it to at least as many occasions I haven't been at. She's getting quite the bang for her buck. She's worn it with stilettos and cowboy boots.

Definitely re-wear OP, it's great to own something you know you will be comfortable in.

I think my own Mum re-wore my wedding's outfit to my brother's micro wedding, she'd spent a lot of time looking for it and it was really flattering on her. It was a separates combo and she's worn the pieces individually too.

I'm desperately hoping that a dress in my wardrobe will fit for a destination wedding that we have to go to next year. Definitely don't want to be spending money on something I'll be trying to squeeze into my hand luggage!

Definitely ok to wear it again. I cannot say I remember what an aunt wore to a cousin's wedding, or what anyone wore really! And it's not like people are going to be poring over the photos beforehand ready to catch people out.
If anyone does comment, just say cheerfully 'I really like it and haven't had an opportunity to wear it again yet'.
My mother wore an outfit to my wedding as MOB, then a different outfit to my sister's very small Covid time wedding then wore the my-wedding-outfit to same sister's bigger party wedding a couple of years later. I think with same jacket even. She said it made her feel the most confident and had certainly spent enough money on it to get 2 wears out of it! Nobody said a thing or even noticed tbh. If asked she was going to explain this was her MOB 'uniform', same as FOB wearing a suit.

My mum wore an outfit she wore to someone else's wedding to mine, she couldn't see anything she prefered. We are still on speaking terms.

I got told off my my cousins fiancee about this, it was momentarily horrible then quite glorious. She made a side comment "Are you going to get a new dress or are you going for the full set" - referring to the fact that I am wearing the same dress in 4 of the 9 wedding photos on her mums wall. I told her I had a budget for the wedding and was happy to get a new dress but it would mean not buying a gift, so she should choose what was more important. DB then pointed out that her dad and DB were wearing the same suit in ALL 9 photos and she eventually plumped for the gift. Wear what the fuck you want.

Of course you can wear the same dress again, OP. But don't call it "recycling"! It's not like you're making the dress into a top and skirt. It's the same item of clothing it was.

Does it have a particular pattern on the dress or are there any other 'unique' features that would make it stand out as being the one that Auntie @MoreCandles wore in the other wedding?

Take a look at the family photograph from your son's wedding. What from that photo can you change to make the dress appear to look different?

You probably won't have your handbag in the photos so don't count that.
If you're not going to wear the fascinator again, might you wear a hat or some other thing in your hair like this:
https://www.claires.com/silver-tone-pave-rhinestone-leaf-hair-comb-213676.html?lang=en_GB&cgid=48&selectedshipment=ship_to_address

Would there be anything in Hobbs in their Occasion Jackets range that you could wear over the dress:
https://www.hobbs.com/occasion/clothing/jackets/
Just some thoughts.

Of course it fine.

My son got married four years ago. The outfit that I wore to his wedding has since seen another wedding, two christenings and a graduation.
Nothing wrong with wearing the outfit again. If you like the outfit and how it makes you feel, then wear it.

My uncle and his wife got married later in life and she wore a navy blue suit instead of anything especially bridal. Neither of them really go out or dress up much.

They have both worn some combination of their own wedding attire at every smart event and wedding they have been to since ‘08. It’s fine.

If I noticed it would be because I would be pleased to see you got another wear out of it. My Mother-of-the-Groom outfit hasn't been worn again.

It's fine.unless it's particularly distinctive no one will notice and if they do they won't care. Politely you aren't Catherine of Wales so there won't be silly articles about you "reusing" an outfit in the paper.

Of course you can wear the dress again. What exactly would you be judged FOR? Using a lovely dress in your wardrobe rather than buying a new one? I wouldn't care about the opinion of anyone who judged that wrong. Please don't act according to petty, materialistic rules that are not even your own.