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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inheritance threads seriously wind me up......

111 replies

EveryoneEnviesMeEverywhere · 29/01/2024 17:56

These types of threads are on many forums and articles I've read

AIBU when I am clearly stating that that the person/s leaving their assets behind to whoever is entitled to do as they so wish, EG, give the money away to a charity, their dog, the cat next door, their best friend, only give some of their children their money/etc and or not equally divide it

When I hear and or read about cases going to court, often one sibling against the other, it makes me so angry

If a person/s has mental the capacity as defined in law to make a Will, surely it is their choice and should never be challenged.

A nephew of mine recently complained to me about my sister(his mum) and his dad's Will means he'd get a lot less as things stand. My nephew had moaned to his parents and they told him that he was well settled, had a good job/pay and also had rental properties. I politely tried to make him see sense that regardless of what his parents had told him, in my judgment it istheir choice. My nephew was not happy with what I said.

The above comes with a caveat where disabled dependents may be left out of a Will as that is more complex. However, on the whole, it is as above

AIBU to robustly support the freedom of the assets holder/s to leave money to whoever, whatever they choose and no court should have the right to overturn this.

OP posts:
TonTonMacoute · 29/01/2024 18:13

polkadotpeppermint · 29/01/2024 18:07

Don’t read them then?

This.

Such a simple solution

Muchof · 29/01/2024 18:13

I agree that people should be able to do what like. But I also think parents should be fair to their offspring and I don’t know if that is what your nephew is complaining about. I don’t believe in punishing people for doing well.

LindorDoubleChoc · 29/01/2024 18:09
Biscuit
Ilovecakey · 29/01/2024 18:08

Yes people are entitled to leave things to who they wish but people are also entitled to be upset by it especially if it was done unfairly with the deceased person's children.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 29/01/2024 18:08

Parents playing favourites is pretty nasty IMO. There has to be a very good reason to not split it equally between children (if you're giving it to children). One person needing it more than the other isn't necessarily a good reason if all children have been given equal opportunities by parents. What if one's worked really hard and the other hasn't bothered? Do you just reward the lazy one?

I do know someone who is one of five and knows she's one of the four getting nothing because the fifth has a learning disability and is unable to live independently so everything is going to them. The other four are fully supportive of this.

FWIW I'm disabled and have had a lot of financial help from my parents over the years because of it,(they bought me a WAV for example). They just give the same amount to my sister, who spent hers on a nice kitchen. She did initially refuse to take it, but eventually came round.

polkadotpeppermint · 29/01/2024 18:07

Don’t read them then?

forcedfun · 29/01/2024 18:07

ComtesseDeSpair · 29/01/2024 18:04

Sure. But people also need to be aware of the impact of unfairness / inequality in a will on those left behind. It’s all very well for the deceased, they’re essentially washing their hands of the upset that’s going to ensue and checking out. It’s pretty shortsighted to deliberately leave a legacy of bitterness and damaged relationships between your heirs because one or more feels they’ve been disfavoured or that the will reflects the relationship they had with the deceased, especially if they’re your children.

Courts can only overturn wills in line with the law, which is clear. If people opt to make their will disregarding this, that doesn’t mean the law shouldn’t apply.

Edited

Exactly this.

And also, it's kind of a bit crushing to work hard and then have the effects balanced out by an imbalanced inheritance (I am guessing , I am the least well off out of my siblings and also never planned on inheriting anything so if I do it will be a bonus, I would rather my parents enjoy their money)

ThursdayTomorrow · 29/01/2024 18:06

Sometimes the best threads are the ones you don’t agree with. Surely that the main point of these discussion threads. If everyone agreed there would be no debate.

WaterHound · 29/01/2024 18:05

Many people are mercenary twats unfortunately.

ComtesseDeSpair · 29/01/2024 18:04

Sure. But people also need to be aware of the impact of unfairness / inequality in a will on those left behind. It’s all very well for the deceased, they’re essentially washing their hands of the upset that’s going to ensue and checking out. It’s pretty shortsighted to deliberately leave a legacy of bitterness and damaged relationships between your heirs because one or more feels they’ve been disfavoured or that the will reflects the relationship they had with the deceased, especially if they’re your children.

Courts can only overturn wills in line with the law, which is clear. If people opt to make their will disregarding this, that doesn’t mean the law shouldn’t apply.

Thehouseofmarvels · 29/01/2024 17:59

Surely it depends on the issue? There is an inheritance issue in my fiancés family at the moment and it may result in us threatening court, but it would be justified.

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