Inheritance threads seriously wind me up......

I can't imagine not leaving all my money to dd or spunk it all uo the wall unless she was truly awful to me.
I guess i only have her. I think it is important to consider it.

@HussellRobbs i think giving your inheritance to a pet is only legal in France. But France also protects your children and your money automatically passes on to them and is split equally. So the dog thing is really only for people who have no relatives.

I and my OH have told our children it was to be equally split, this was a few years ago and now we are actively giving money to the grandkids and told our children they may get nothing, 2 a very happy about that one is happy but not so much as atm they dont have children.

It sounds like you’re actively rubbing it in your childless’ offspring’s face that they won’t get anything. I hope they go no contact with you and you don’t expect care from them. Save your house for your care home fees if that’s the way you treat your children.

I think the question of inheritance has become much more fraught and much more present in recent years because housing has become so expensive, and totally unmoored from incomes. So there's both a lot more to inherit, for a lot more people - 50 years ago average people did not own £1m houses - and a lot more at stake.

The defining element that determines how comfortable someone's life will be is now capital rather than income. I'm not saying that justifies some of the grabbiness we see here, but I do think it might explain a lot of it. Inheritance is no longer a lovely bonus but really the thing that makes security possible for many people. It's a big shift.

Yeah they are. Unfortunate situation. Very thankful I have the house I always wanted. Just wish my dad would spend his money and enjoy it

@EveryoneEnviesMeEverywhere We have a situation where df has passed recently, SM has got rid of his belongings & anything belong to our DM. We are beneficiaries in the will once SM passes but at this stage she will not even show us my df's will.

No, I wouldn’t want my hard earned money going to dogs 🙄 Maybe a joke for dog owners.

Every single word of this.

I'm so sorry your cousins acted like such shits when your grandmother died. That must have been horrible. 💐

Life would be much easier (and probably better) if everyone just left their entire estate to the local dogs' home. I'm only half joking.

When my father died with zero assets, only debts, it made me think that we should all be grateful if we inherit anything. Want something? Go out and earn it.

Obviously I can understand why someone would be pissed off if their sibling got £1m and they only got 50p. Those sorts of games of "favourites" can get in the sea in death as they can in life. But inheritance isn't a right - a very large number of people never inherit a penny.

My grandmother died at 2pm and by 4pm I’d been added into a group chat by my cousins and siblings to speculate what would be in the will. I was the only person to say this was inappropriate and to leave. I’ve not spoken to them since. Money really brings out the worst in people.

I have to say, if my children ever start to lecture me on how I spend “their inheritance” i.e. my money I will deliberately sell up, spunk all my money up the wall having loads of fun and travelling the world. I’d go out of my way to make sure there was nothing left but any remainder I’d leave to charity. I really cannot stand people who talk about inheritance when a. no one has actually died and b. they think they are entitled to one.

IMO it's a parents and grandparents job to treat their children equally. Just because one child/grandchild has worked really hard to get themselves stable and settled doesn't mean that they should get less than another that hasn't.

Unless there are really very extreme circumstances I think not treating all children as equal is just an awful thing to do. I feel entitled to inherit from my parents when they die just as I tell my son that he will inherit everything from us when we die. To me that is absolutely the natural order of things. I wouldn't dream of not leaving everything I own to my child - so I don't understand why anyone else wouldn't choose to do that.

Agree OP. Hope my parents spend it all living their best lives

You can't disinherit your children in Scotland complete testator freedom is actually not that common in the world

Inheritances are not just about money, they are seen as an indicator of whether the heirs are valued and loved. Where there is perceived unfairness (typically when people are disinherited, or one sibling inherits more than another), it can tear families apart. And the person who wrote this will is not even there to see the devastation they have caused.

What is your own situation OP? Do you stand to inherit or have you been cut out in favour of others?

There was a thread last year where a woman was carer to her mother, was much less well off than her brothers and yet her mother was leaving her entire significant estate to her sons and nothing to the OP. And despite this, the OP was still expected to provide care to her mum as neither of the brothers cared to.

And in my own situation, my mum has left the family home, where me and my sisters paid rent for years, solely to my feckless brother ‘to keep the house in the family name’.

So your mealy mouthed platitudes saying you ‘robustly support the freedom of the assets holder/s to leave money to whoever, whatever they choose and no court should have the right to overturn this’ mean nothing to me and you sound completely devoid of understanding and sympathy.

We are a very blended family, my side and DH’s, all inheritances (both sets of parents divorced so x4) are to split completely equally between children and even step grandchildren which I think is such a progressive attitude, hopefully everyone else in the family thinks so too and there’s no upset when the sad times arrive.

My DF passed 2 years ago without a will as it was quite sudden and it was split between his children as well our half sibling which was my dads Step son, the rest of us would just never think to not share it equally - we know that’s exactly what my DF would have wanted also.

It is really hurtful if you are the child and your second parent dies and you get nothing and your siblings get all of it.

It is a fundamental human instinct that your parents should treat you equally. Every toddler ever has said "its not fair" when a sibling has got something better. As adults they get better at being civil about it, but they still care and are still hurt if either parent favours a sibling.

I'm fairly close in age to my children so hopefully if I die in old age they'll be fairly mature too, so I'm planning on leaving any assets/money split equally between my biological grandchildren.

One lucky person will also get my tortoise!

Death brings the worst out in people. I have seen situations where abusive, manipulative parents continue to inflict misery on their children through an unfair will. I have also seen greedy vultures come out whenever someone dies and try to claim assets that are not theirs.

I think parents have a responsibility to treat their children fairly and, when they don't, children are hurt because it really does show how much their parents care about them. If my parents left my share of my inheritance to a cat charity, I'd be pretty fucking hurt. Not because of the money per se but because this is their legacy. This is what they want you to have. It's very symbolic and it's their very LAST gesture they will ever do.

You can do whatever you want in your will , but people have a right to be upset, that's how it goes.

@lulucieinlondon What if one sibling moved into the family home and refused for it to be sold despite it being left equally? Would the other sibling not go to court to force a sale?

They should be resolved out of courts. It's certainly unnatural to bring your own siblings to court

YABU. I think it is extremely important to treat your children equally throughout life and after death. If you leave different amounts to your children they might fall out. As a parent that is not what you want.
I much prefer the French system of inheritance, where your children are protected heirs.