Sahm housework help

God I'm shit at housework but people compliment my house - it's big and modern so that helps but here's my routine. I had a shit upbringing so no prior knowledge before being an adult of how to keep a place clean. By Mumsnet standards I'm a complete slattern.

• clean bathrooms once a week. Spray Flash bleach spray over sink and loo, then use running tap and sponge to clean using rubber gloves, get right in there with the loo.

• sweep downstairs (laminate) maybe once a week. Mop it maybe once a month.

• Husband in charge of hoovering so that happens max once monthly. Rugs downstairs and carpets upstairs.

• Kitchen is open plan so I am more on it with that. Dishwasher is a total game changer. Everything goes in there at end of day / during day and run at end of day. Anything that didn't fit gets chucked in sink to be dealt with the next day.

• Tidying is the First Step. If you were brought up like me, you are used to shit everywhere. My friend has a saying 'a place for everything and everything has a place' and also the thing about if something isn't either useful or beautiful then get rid of it.

• finally having a messy or unclean house is not a sign of immorality or that you are not a valid, fabulous and effective human! <feminist rant> we are too often reduced to the state of our houses. It's a very British obsession. If nobody has food poisoning or getting bugs from dirty loos, you're doing absolutely fine. Clean clothes are a bonus. Food 3 times a day is the e only thing that social services could possibly criticise you on - that's the basic

I try and keep up with the kitchen and bathroom daily, and if those rooms are ok (not spotless daily, but ok) then other things can slide, as life is too short to spend it making a house spotless! I like a lived in coat home. Personally, what I would do is one room at a time and not move onto another room until it’s finished. Think of it as a deep clean to start off with and then it will be easier to maintain. De clutter- anything you can take to charity shop/ tip/ sell etc. also with a de clutter it’s easier to clean as you won’t be moving stuff / cleaning around stuff all the time. And of course it’s not much to clear up if it’s not so cluttered in the first place. Look at getting an ikea Kallax, or some other kind of storage such as wooden boxes, chests and wicker baskets for toys or whatever. Look up the 5 minute mum method- I love that one!
work out something that works for you- a rota maybe where everyone in the house has jobs to do? If you do what I do, with the kitchen and bathroom being clean and hygienic every day, you shouldn’t have any social workers moaning at you! Wash and wipe up and put away as you go along if it’s easier for you to spend 10 mins doing a chore rather than leaving it and it taking longer. Spray a bit of your cleaning spray over the sides and wipe with a damp cloth, then dry. Sweep floors, mop every other day. I swear by fairy washing up liquid or clean with! I also love method cleaning sprays, flash on the floors, bleach only for the toilets. I love scented candles to make house smell lovely! Back to de cluttering- once you’ve got more space to hoover the floors it will be and look a lot better! Maybe put in some rules if you don’t have them already around eating food in certain rooms (in our house it’s no food upstairs) but at the end of the day, social workers in my experience, don’t usually care about mess. They want to see that a child has food in the fridge. a safe and clean bed (make sure the bedding is always clean and they always have bedding on unless it’s in the wash ) a safe space to play in- which again might come back to de cluttering. Is your house totally safe for your youngest child? Do you have pets? Just thinking houses can look untidier / unclean with pet hairs etc or pet smell (we have dogs) … but honestly, you sound completely
‘normal’ , you have a lived in home, and you find housework boring- Same girl, same 🤦🏻‍♀️
not sure if any of that helped but to try sum it up-

• initial deep clean which may take a weekend to do. Each room sort out clutter and tidy
• make yourself some daily chores such as kitchen and bathroom and do not stress over the rest
• clean bedding (wash at least once weekly)
• house rules and cleaning rota
• cleaning products - washing up liquid, method sprays, flash, scented candles
• safe environment for child
• Wash up dry up and put away after each meal to save time
• check out 5 minute mum method

I’m sorry to hear OP, you’ve really had a bad time of everything.

Please know that all this will pass! I do think SS need to be helping you out more and showing exactly where the issues fall. As I said earlier I hate doing cleaning and force myself by listening to YouTube but what we do is;

-Washing up and kitchen sides daily.
-Make my bed as soon as I get up.
-We have laundry on alot of the time. I wear things once then put a smaller load on a quicker wash I find this easier than having massive loads to do else it just gets on top of me and piles out of the washing basket. It’s also easier to pop out these smaller loads to dry too (and I don’t run out of radiator space!)

-hoover a few times a week (daily around the litter tray)
-Bathroom clean twice a week

-bedsheets once a week

-skirting boards etc are like every 2 weeks
mop when I feel like the floor looks grubby (I spot mop as I go if needs) same with dusting.

Try starting with one thing at a time and adding it into a routine :) you’ve absolutely got this!

Sorry but who does all this?!

It's not necessary if she's at social worker intervention level, it means the basics aren't done

Sounds like you need to do a good blitz, then just maintain. Skirting boards once cleaned will last ages, it's just a case of run the hoover brush attachment over them every so often to keep on top.

For daily bathroom clean I would understand that to mean, no kiddy pee on the seat or floor, no poo stains in the toilet and not tooth paste splatted in the sink, all quick fixes. I don't think they mean a full on bathroom cleanse everyday.

I'm surprised SW and such are venting these opinions as the normal stance is it's your lifestyle choice. As long as it's not dangerous.

Can you post pictures? Then we can see what or where you could be struggle.

1. I keep a minimal home - homely but not cluttered.
2. I do a little something each day.
3. Clean up mess as it happens I.e crumbs in the fridge or spillages in the microwave.
4. Everything has a home (all medicines in one box, stationary one draw etc), toy storage,
5. Hoover and mop one day do upstairs another.
6. I keep a space in cupboard for items outgrown or no longer wanted to then bag up and drop off into a charity bin.
7. I organise my kids clothing draws so I can see exactly what they have.
8. Having too much stuff can be overwhelming and adds to the stress of more to look after and work around.
9. I go through the kids room with them to help them stay on top of their own admin. (Dispose of their secret litter stash and missing socks)

Cleaning products -

Bleach spray - surfaces, door handles etc
Cream cleaner - toilets, bath and shower.
Vinegar - windows
Steam mop.

i wash sheets once a week!

I’m thinking maybe OP has pets. It’s strange because we love our little fur children so much that I think we often overlook how dirty it can seem!

We had beautiful floor to ceiling curtains which were made for our windows and looked stunning. For days our cats litter stunk around the house and we keep his litter very clean so we couldn’t understand where the smell was coming from. Our house is kept clean and I couldn’t find if he had pooped anywhere…. Turns out he had made himself a new throne behind the bottom of one of the floor length curtains the little bugger 😂

I’m so sorry the social workers are making you feel like this. I think you’re absolutely right to ask them to be very specific. I would even suggest asking them to write it down. That way, you can tick things off and know you’re doing them, and if their requests are unreasonable it will also be documented in case you need to show someone else that in the future. And just a big hug. Housework is boring and I have no idea about lots of it too. You’re not alone.

Antibacterial wipes are your friend carry them around the house and wipe all surfaces / door handles / light switches / anything! Wipe the kitchen surfaces everytime you use them and the bathroom sinks and taps and toilet seats as you go to bed. Stick bleach in the toilet at bedtime too. Hoover once a day ( I like to after breakfast) mop twice a week ( unless you have a dog then you might need to do it more) try and make sure everything has a home and put it back as soon as you’ve used it.

deep clean on the bathrooms / showers etc once a week ( I do a bathroom a day so mine get done every 4 days but we are large family )

change bed clothes once a week on rotation and towels too. You can totally do this! Write a list, let yourself have a break everytime you tick something off.

Could you afford to hire a cleaner once or twice a week for some extra help? And then you do a some touch up cleaning on the days cleaner isn't there? Clear/neat kitchen sides/sink/ floor and bathroom sink/ bath/floor are most important to giving the illusion of being clean imo. Do you have a dishwasher that you could load daily? We don't and I bloody hate it. Usually have a sink soaking or plates drying. Do you have storage boxes for toys if they are left out and about? If everything can be put away it may be easier to keep clean so you can see what's been done/needs doing. Previous poster mentioned listening to a podcast - I can absolutely recommend this as I find it far less boring if I'm listening to something. Hope this helps a little.

@Duckingfun
Do you have pets? That might be why the SW are saying you need to clean more often. I would concentrate on one room every day for cleaning but keep it as tidy as you can, make sure the rubbish is taken out every day.
Start in one corner of the room and clean, and move around the room making sure everything is vacuumed, moving furniture, doing the skirting boards, etc. Get a big pole duster and do the ceilings, light fittings etc.
I know it might be wasteful but for the short term get a big pack of the thick cleaning wipes from Amazon and clean everything with those, window frames, counters, wipe the furniture etc.
Next day do another room.
Keep on top of the laundry and clean your front door and outside every week also.

Also OP you need to differentiate between mess and dirt. Dirt is always immediately cleaned and prevented if possible.
Crumbs for example - kids shouldn't be eating all over the place of if they must place something over their knees to catch the crumbs.

Mess... well.. I can never remember what goes where so I have chuckboxes all over the house I just sweep things into. Mess makes it harder to clean so I have to tidy it up first, Later I sort all the stuff in the boxes sending them to appropriate locations.

Toddlers can make lots and lots of mess, it's impossible to have a spotless house them but I suppose the obvious things can be tidied up. Things like food bits all over the kitchen etc I try to clean as I go, move all the dirty things to the sink at least even if I don't want to wash up immediately. Of course, don't ket it pile up either..

I think get yourself a routine. It doesn't need to be perfect. Cleaning skirting boards every day is just sign of a sick mind. Do the things that keep your household running so chucking a wash on as soon as there's enough stuff to go on'. Make sure anything that needs to be charged is charged. Make sure your actual loo is clean andvthe sink and that there is loo roll and clean hand towel. You don't need to scrub out the whole bathroom daily. Just go in and check those are OK. Keep on top of your washing up

This is the book from the tiktok account person I mentioned. She's great in her approach

https://www.strugglecare.com/book

https://www.homemadesimple.com/in-the-home/ultimate-cleaning-checklist-daily-weekly-monthly-seasonal/

I found this helpful. ADHD and shit at cleaning

Sorry you are struggling. You have been through a lot and sound like you have a lot on. I also think many people assume we have been taught or just know how and when to do household stuff.

Have you asked the sw for support? Can anyone show you how to clean or help you develop a schedule.

Also there's various tiktok accounts that talk about managing at home with the basics. Such as domestic blisters.
I think most people find it boring BTW, it's just about managing that. For me I sit and have a coffee with a nice candle once I'm done and have set days to do the whole house.

*tomatoes I mean. Silly phone

With meals I write a list of options at the beginning of the week. Then I plan what we can have each day. I tend to make a big pan of pasta sauce using tinned tomato’s as a base but throw in other stuff like baked beans, peppers, carrots and then blend it so it’s smooth (due to dds food restrictions) then I freeze it in portions.

For light meals I bought one of those large round divided platters from Asda and will do a picky meal like carrot sticks, cucumber, pitta, hummus, cheese, fruit etc. For some reason the kids eat it more from this plate than if I just put it on their plates.