Sahm housework help

Am I the only one that doesn't think bedclothes need changing every week? Especially kids' if they bath before bed?

IME, it completely depends on the SW. You can get one say a house is really not good enough and then another will say it's absolutely fine.

What kind of vacuum cleaner do you have? Sounds like yours may not be working too well. I've got one of those Flash dust magnet things, it has an extending handle so I start in one corner of a room, go all round the ceiling and light fittings,tops of pictures, table tops, round the radiators and finally skirting boards. Then you can just bin the fluffy head when it's full of dust. They are a bit expensive but I get refills on Amazon which are reasonable. Takes me about 5 minutes to do a room then hoover, job done. Another trick I learned recently is to spray some Mr Sheen on a dry cloth and use that for shining up or sticky marks. Smells nice too so just before the sw arrives, give a squirt of it as air freshener, just a bit, high into the room. Always put the light on in any room before you start cleaning, makes it easier to see what's there

I sat down one day and wrote a list of all the cleaning I felt needed doing. Then I decided how often everything needed doing. Then I made a master list of everything that needs to be cleaned every week on a four weekly rota. So some things are on there more than once a week (the toilet, for instance!) and some only come up every four weeks (this is stuff like sorting out a set of shelves where things tend to get dumped).

I have this list on my computer and print a new one off every four weeks. Then if I've got five or ten minutes, I can look at my list, pick a cleaning job and get it done and cross it off. I don't have to waste mental energy working out what to do, I just do what's on the list. (Obviously if I notice something dirty that's not on the list, I'll deal with that too.) It's a system that works for me. I did find that to start with, I kept having to add jobs I'd forgotten when I wrote the list, but I haven't had to add one in ages now.

(An additional advantage for me is that DH and I can both use the list with no need for any discussions about what needs doing - as long as we both remember to cross jobs off when done. I don't know whether your teen is ever up for helping with cleaning, but if they are, having a list to hand in case a helpful urge strikes them could be useful )

There are other routine bits of cleaning that don't go on the list, just because we're in the habit of always doing them. So things like sweeping the floor after eating (we find with a toddler this does have to be done after every single meal), or wiping down the kitchen counters after cooking. You could try putting those on a list but I'm not sure it would work. If you always eat at the same time, phone reminders might help you get into good habits maybe?

A few years ago, I used a website called Flylady.com

The website is all about housekeeping routines. A daily set of tasks. A daily 15 minute declutter. Then each room was a zone and you’d deep clean one a week. It was great for helping set routines.

It doesn't take a huge amount of effort to keep your house clean in all honesty.

I clean my bathroom and downstairs toilet once a week, then I mostly just do maintenance cleaning the rest of the time. Hoovering, sweeping and keeping the kitchen sides clean. Don't let your toddler eat walking around to make mess, they should be sat at a table.

Is your little one is nursery at all? When are you doing all of this cleaning?

There's a balance, yes - the house has to be cleaned regularly and sanitary. And while some mess is fine, too much clutter can get in the way of your child having space to play and develop.

But if you're caring full time for your child, I would be concerned that you're having to prioritise doing all of this housework (some of which sounds quite frankly unnecessary) over spending time with your DC and getting out of the house with them.

@Duckingfun I just can't believe this is accurate. No-ones house is spotless 100% of the time. Are you sure you aren't either misinterpreting what they are saying or not noticing how bad things are getting so you're understanding of spotless is very different to the average person?

Your Social worker has told you that your house must always be spotless?

Me? Many many people? This is the basics!!

There’s no way I will ever hoover every day. If it gets done once a week I’m happy.

Bathrooms get a proper clean every week. Toilets get a quick cleanse every day. I change bedding and towels once a week. Wash hard floors once a week.

Dishes are done every day- I never leave dirty dishes at night as I like to come down to a clean kitchen. Work surfaces wiped down several times a day as needed.

Told by who???

Do you have a friend, family member or advocate who can be there with you when SW visits, so that they can be a second pair of eyes or ears?
Would you be prepared to share some photos of your home here, as you MNetters will tell you what they think (kindly and constructively I hope!).
A messy home is NOT classed as neglect, unless the mess presents any hazards or ill effect(s) upon the wellbeing (emotional or physical) of children.
I've had Family Services involved on and off since my nearly 6 year old twins were born and we've had 6 SWs and 2 Family Workers, none of whom have ever passed comment upon the state of my flat (which has been a total state at times (combination of being physically disabled, AuDHD and having long term MH problems).

Hi, you have got lots of good advice in the thread so far!

My tips would be, reduce clutter and have fixed places for things. Eg. Kids puzzles go in particular shelf, lego in another, magnatiles in another etc. Show this to your kids too. They will pick it up. My 3 year old is very good at tidying up and even tells me off if I put things in the wrong place. 😂

To stay on top of things clean things then and there. Do not procrastinate! So if someone spills wotsits on the floor, pick it up and clean it off before someone else comes along and tramples on it and walks all over the house with it! I love a handheld hoover for small spills and to dust crumbs. Has really helped to keep things clean post having kids.

For toilets, before sleeping at night put some harpic or duck toilet cleaner into the toilets. You can brush and flush in the morning. Sinks need a spray with cif bathroom cleaner and wipe daily. Rest of the bathroom you can do weekly.

In your kitchen, if you have a dishwasher load all pots and pans at night and switch it on. Else wash all dishes. Spray and clean counters and hob. I use flash. I also sweep and mop kitchen and entrance hallway daily as I have tiles and not carpets.

Have sufficient bins around the house to put things which need to be discarded. So toilet should have a bin, one near the baby changing table, kitchen etc. Put bin bags in all bins, so that it is easy to empty. Bins should be emptied as soon as they are full. This ensures you don’t have garbage lying around and creating unnecessary clutter. It is also unhygienic.

I only hoover the entire house once a week. Bathrooms also get full clean once a week, I have 4 to do. Bedsheets get changed once a week and same for towels. Stay on top of laundry and fold and keep it away daily.

Keeping house is hardwork. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And keeping a nice home is even harder. But think of it as a safe and happy environment for your kids. And also that you are setting a wonderful example for them to learn from. I am sure you can do this! All the best!

It sounds like you need to do a combo of reducing mess and clutter and actual cleaning. A few extra ideas:

• a pp mentioned making the beds every day and I would second this and say it’s more important than washing bedding every week as it makes the place look presentable and well looked after. Washing sheets every two weeks is fine IMO unless they’re visibly dirty or someone has got very hot and sweaty in them!
• the example you have before about the crochet does suggest you still have too much stuff so a big clear out will help. Whatever you choose to keep, ensure it’s in proper storage. My DMs flat always looks messy and part of the reason for that is that she keeps all her stuff in random bags and overflowing boxes and all piled up without any order or logic. Even when her place is clean is still feels like it’s not because stuff is everywhere and you can see stuff spilling out all over the place
• keep worktops and work surfaces clear and clean
• No shoes indoors and store them neatly
• hoovering and wiping has the biggest impact on how clean somewhere looks. If I’m doubt, wipe down everywhere and then hoover.

A lot of really good advice here, such kind supportive sentiments too. I would second getting The Organised Mum book, she explains tasks and makes you feel you can keep up with them. Also try to reframe how you see housework- more as in creating a calm and safe space for yourself and your family. You deserve a nice , peaceful home to relax in at the end of the day. Just doing little things consistently will make the difference, good luck and best wishes Duckingfun

There are lots of you tube channels or online blogs about cleaning, like Mrs Hinch, so lots of places to get ideas from. But leaving pots until the next day, not cleaning bathrooms every day - those are normal life. Very gently OP, since ASD can cause difficulties with communications, is it worth asking the social workers to put their expectations in writing so there is no room for misunderstanding? Because I dont think I have ever met someone who cleans their bathroom every day!

Priorities should be
1.No stuff on the stairs - it will be considered a hazard, so train yourself not to leave things there.

1. Kitchen - get into the habit of wiping down surfaces
2. Living space - if your daughter is learning to walk she needs a clean safe space to practice in.

Lots of great practical help in this thread.

I just wanted to add that I loathe housework - find it mind-numbingly boring. For people like us, the best thing to do is keep the home as tidy and clutter-free as possible. The less mess we make, the less there is to clean up and the more time you have for something more interesting. Look after yourself!

I’m glad you got something from that, as I was aware I went off rambling 🤣 if you’re on face book marketplace, see if anyone is giving away any storage type things in your area, or if not free- cheap! I always go second hand first for that type of thing. Save your pennies for something nice for you after all this cleaning 💪

You ASKED for help. Give yourself some credit, as that takes STRENGTH to do. PleSe continue to be honest with them. You are not failing at mum life / adulting by saying ‘hey, look, I’m doing 10000x better than I was when I first asked you for help SW, but I still need some help and guidance with how to keep my house a clean and safe environment for my family, whilst making sure I’m feeling mentally healthy and strong enough to be raising my children, with the challenges that our extra needs brings us. I would appreciate your support with this, so I can keep moving forwards. Thank you for working with me.’ - keep co operating and admit when you still need support. Sometimes SS can help refer you to a service such as home start, where a volunteer can come round once or twice a week and support you with something just like this. You’re not alone! And give yourself a 10 out of 10 for admitting you needed help and still do. You have clearly come a long way. Be proud of that.