Is this a red flag?

I think this might only be weird if you are a young teenager. There is an expectation (around age 12) that you must use social media otherwise you get labelled uncool. “Everyone else uses it!!” etc. One reason my Ed is my ex is that he never stopped scrolling. Never even looked up from his phone.
I see couples out for dinner both independently scrolling and it just seems crazy. Why would you prefer this? Is it so that you can’t be on social media in front of him if he isn’t on it too?

Can you expand on your line of thought op?

From what you’ve said, it sounds as though he essentially used instagram as a hook up site- commenting on attractive looking girls. That’s how he bagged you; by initiating conversation on there.

Now he has a girlfriend, he sees no purpose for using it. I guess you’re now wondering why he hasn’t deleted it? Is he keeping it in case he wants to put himself back on the market?

The only other reason I can see for your thinking is if you’re assuming he’s ashamed of you because he doesn’t publicise your relationship on Instagram?
Bear in mind, he never used instagram for the purpose of showcasing his life/ seeking validation from others.

I do think your anxiety over this is coming from your own insecurities.
He shouldn’t have to justify every detail if his life to you. You also need to respect his privacy and put some trust in him- he’s not your possession.

Nothing in his behaviour is a warning sign of anything untoward!

You're the red flag, not your boyfriend.

Sounds brilliant to me!! Are you concerned that by him not using it just highlights how much you use it?

I think you're the one with a red flag!
My 25yr old and 23yr old DC are never on SM but still have their accounts open.

You've gotta post this on DadsNet... lol

This will be flagged as one of those "women can find fault with anything" sorts of posts :)

"I thought I did the right thing, and I'm still getting moaned at!!!"

Are you a big user of social media? Could it be that it just seems odd to you because you’re using it so much? Maybe it’s your use of social media that is a red flag?

Is it the fact that he isn't on there gushing about you every five minutes the real issue?

Can you articulate what exactly is worrying you? "My boyfriend is not interested in social media" doesn't really seem to be a problem.

Omg that's a green flag

I'm not sure how bad the current version of Instagram is, but in the past Instagram - like X and Facebook - made it very difficult to view/read the site without logging in. Even following a link from an outside source, you get nagged - and at one point actually forced - to log in. The sites do this intentionally to up their numbers, and plenty of people make accounts on those types of sites and never otherwise interact. It's a slight hassle to make an account in the first place but once you had, why would you delete it?

The part about liking "pictures of half naked girls" is the only part that alarmed me, but if he's no longer doing it then perhaps he's recently figured out how the kiddie porn laws work? So that's probably an improvement over how he was when you met him.

You need your head shaking

Your boyfriend is not the weird one in this relationship.

The red flag is you thinking that it's a red flag

You're a red flag!

SM junkies would be a red flag to me.

Do you think he needs to be on Instagram to be a normal, valid person? So what if he's not interested?

That would be a green flag for me!

It sounds like he only went on it when he was bored (but still not much) and now he’s not bored.

I have no SM and don’t death scroll through my phone endlessly, apart from being on MN.

This is essentially a green flag. 😂

If you can’t relax and trust him, if you’re snooping into his past instagram views, grilling him etc then I’m afraid the Red flags are coming from you 😳

My 26 year old son, aside from occasionally looking at X, he has never posted himself, doesn't use social media at all. Never has. He calls it "fake life." I guess I'd better tell him what a weirdo he is.

How is it we live in a world where not social media is classed as weird. People give it up all the time for many reasons and maybe you should take a leaf out of his book.

I really can’t understand your thought process here. It’s the opposite of a red flag.

It sounds like he likes you and is happy being with you so he doesn’t need to do those things now. Would you rather he was sat pointlessly scrolling and looking at pictures of other women?

my DH has social media apps but I can count on one hand how many times a year he’s on them…he just does other stuff and isn’t really into it. ..really no big deal.

When I'm depressed I don't go on sm

You are being absolutely batshit here.

So before you were there, he would look at pictures of women.

Now that you are living with him and he isn't, somehow you think this is a bad thing? Maybe, just maybe, because he has you, he doesn't need to look at photos any more? You say he's rarely used it.

I rarely use insta. I rarely use tiktok. I still have both apps.