Page 2 | Holiday

adonk · 2024-01-24T18:46:24+00:00

So my boyfriend has asked me how I would feel, if he went on holiday with his ex and their child… so they could both be there for the child’s first holiday. Am I wrong to think absolutely not! Or am I overreacting? Anyone been in this situation?

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 24/01/2024 20:11

@KrisAkabusi of course he needs to maintain a level of involvement with his child. But that doesn't have to run to family holidays with the ex FFS. There's a happy medium that most divorced couples manage to maintain and their kids aren't scarred by not having their (divorced) parents on holiday with them.

Honestly sometimes I'm shocked at the level of shite that's posted on this site.

Datgal · 24/01/2024 20:11

Yeah, fuck that. I bet she wouldn't be wanting this cosy holiday if she was with someone!

WhamBamThankU · 24/01/2024 20:09

Either you go and they share the holiday or your partner doesn't go and you three go abroad separately.

NotObligedToArgueWithStrangers · 24/01/2024 20:06

If it's about the experience for the child, there should be no problem with you going along too. If the ex doesn't like that idea, then it's not really about the child is it? I would question her motives. If he doesn't get that, I'd be questioning his too.

sonjadog · 24/01/2024 20:00

adonk · 24/01/2024 19:51

He’s basically said that there’s no need for 2 separate first holidays when they can go together and make family memories, and said that when his son gets married there obviously won’t be two weddings, it will be both parents attending together

That's not relevant though, is it. His son isn't going to get married for a good long time, at which point there will be much more water under the bridge and them as a couple will be in the distant past. Not right now where it is a few years ago and his ex is obviously not 100% happy about him having a girlfriend.

If he doesn't see that this isn't a good idea, I would also start wondering how finished he really is with the relationship with his ex.

ZekeZeke · 24/01/2024 19:59

Child is 6, they broke up years ago and child has had holidays so it's not the child's first holiday but first holiday abroad
There is absolutely no need for him to go on holidays with his ex.
They have been parenting separately for years.
How does he feel about being asked? Does he want to go?

KrisAkabusi · 24/01/2024 19:57

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 24/01/2024 19:55

They're not a family any more though are they. I find people who want to maintain this level of involvement with the ex very odd and there's no way I'd put up with it.

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He's maintaining a level of involvement with his CHILD not his ex. Isn't that to be encouraged?

Watchthedoormat · 24/01/2024 19:55

She's posting passive aggressive comments.
She wants him back or at the very least she'll do something whilst on this holiday to break up your relationship.
She either wants him for herself or she wants him to not be with you.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 24/01/2024 19:55

adonk · 24/01/2024 19:51

He’s basically said that there’s no need for 2 separate first holidays when they can go together and make family memories, and said that when his son gets married there obviously won’t be two weddings, it will be both parents attending together

They're not a family any more though are they. I find people who want to maintain this level of involvement with the ex very odd and there's no way I'd put up with it.

GabriellaMontez · 24/01/2024 19:55

Poor child. Sounds confusing.

GabriellaMontez · 24/01/2024 19:54

Just no.

When you separate you forgoe some stuff.

Since when is 'first holiday' a thing anyway?! You could turn loads of events into 'firsts'.

A wedding is totally different. Their child will be an adult and will decide who is invited. And it will (probably) be a once only event.

Original poster

adonk · 24/01/2024 19:51

He’s basically said that there’s no need for 2 separate first holidays when they can go together and make family memories, and said that when his son gets married there obviously won’t be two weddings, it will be both parents attending together

OP posts:

peakygold · 24/01/2024 19:50

She wants him back 100%. If he goes, you will lose him.

ilovesooty · 24/01/2024 19:48

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 24/01/2024 19:47

No it isn't. It just says the child's first holiday. The child is not 1.

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See my post above yours.

Windymcwindyson · 24/01/2024 19:47

He is nuts.
And you would be to accept this.

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 24/01/2024 19:47

ilovesooty · 24/01/2024 19:46

The child's first birthday is mentioned as the reason for the holiday.

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No it isn't. It just says the child's first holiday. The child is not 1.

ilovesooty · 24/01/2024 19:47

Apologies. I misread holiday for birthday.

ilovesooty · 24/01/2024 19:46

hotduzz · 24/01/2024 19:36

Where?

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The child's first birthday is mentioned as the reason for the holiday.

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 24/01/2024 19:44

adonk · 24/01/2024 19:42

I don’t know her that much just from what he’s said about her, they talk, I’ve never spoke to her directly, there’s a bit of tension because she posts passive aggressive quotes etc on social media about me

So does he endorse her passive aggressive behaviour by not addressing it?

Why does he want to go?

I don't think you going too is a solution. How awkward. There's no reason for him to be there. It's a holiday not his graduation.

Original poster

adonk · 24/01/2024 19:43

I would be fine going but I don’t think she would want me there

OP posts:

Original poster

adonk · 24/01/2024 19:42

I don’t know her that much just from what he’s said about her, they talk, I’ve never spoke to her directly, there’s a bit of tension because she posts passive aggressive quotes etc on social media about me

OP posts:

Holidayhell22 · 24/01/2024 19:42

It would be a no from me too.

sunlovingcriminal · 24/01/2024 19:41

That'd be a no from me...

sonjadog · 24/01/2024 19:41

I suggest you all go.

JustWhatWeDontNeed · 24/01/2024 19:41

Nope. Absolutely not.

Why on earth does he need to be present? You can go on your own holidays.

Do they have a particularly close friendship? I guess they must. The last thing me or DP would choose to do is spend our annual leave on holiday with our exes.