Holiday

Apart from anything else, it's going to be very confusing for their 6 yr old DC who will naturally assume Mummy and Daddy are getting back together.

There's a difference between a romantic relationship and a parenting relationship.

Yeah he wants to go and doesn’t understand why I don’t think he should

Then there was no point in asking you how you feel about it if he wont even entertain your opinion.

If the ex's motives aren't to get back together with op's partner or to sabotage their relationship then it could be so she can get a free/subsidised holiday.

@adonk how would he react if this was you wanting to go on holiday with an ex boyfriend and father of your child ?

I would be mentioning to him about her posting negative crap on social media about you. First thing he should be doing is sorting her attitude towards you out

It's his EX.

If he wanted to get back with her he would have.

Either your trust your partner or you don't.

I think the holiday is a lovely idea. It's good the two of them can put their child first. Obviously they'd book accommodation with two rooms then one of them would share with the 6 year old.

He wants to go because he knows what he happen while they are there. Poor kid will end up very confused.

Ugh I hate this ‘you’ll lose him’ shit. As if someone who’d disrespect their partner in such a way is anything to lose.

OP, if you think there could be even a slight possibility that he’d act inappropriately with the ex on this holiday then you need to bin him off anyway.

Yeah……. No. He doesn’t need to go. That’s it.

He's happy to go away with a woman that is passive aggressive about you on his socials..? (irrespective of the fact that he's obviously quite emotionally unintelligent to think this is a good idea, and shit on you...)

He must be amazing in other departments @adonk as you're not really selling him as a prime catch here!

I would be interested to know which one of them suggested they do this together.
If it was the ex I would suspect she has a motive

Really? Is he thick?

Indeed. Making this a big deal when it's NOT the child's "first holiday" is the suspicious bit for me.

Absolutely no way. If they are not together in daily life why do they need to be there for a holiday.

Nope, a no from me. Their child has no experience of holidays together, why on earth would you start it after all this time?

As pp said, you miss ‘firsts’ when you’re split up, that’s just how it is.

Also very confusion for the DC.

How would your partner feel if it were the other way around? Would she suggest this if she had a partner?

Part of separating when dc is involved is coming to terms with the fact that you won't be sharing all the '1st's', I think he is bonkers for even contemplating it.

If he does go, I would certainly be booking a girly holiday away whilst they are away. But if it were me and he went , that would be the end of our relationship.

@KrisAkabusi there's levels and levels isn't there? For example (and obviously not an exhaustive list!):

• school nativity plays together = okay
• sports matches where kid is playing = okay
• parents evenings at school together= okay

• week in Bahamas where it's just fella, ex wife and kid... well, that's quite intimate and not really appropriate for two adults who have separated irrespective of whether or not they have kids in common.

Absolutely not - all three of them will most likely be sleeping in the same accommodation, as single accommodation for your DP and a separate accommodation for one adult and one DC will be expensive.

I would be proposing that you and DP take DSC on their first holiday abroad, the three of you. Ex can take her DC on their own adventure aboard.

Because separated parents do things separately. They will miss things because they are separated. Otherwise they are just ‘together’.

First holiday abroad isn't a thing so that's just nonsense.
She posts passive aggressive shite online about you yet he expects you to be happy with this? Fuck no.
I'd tell him if he wants to go then that's fine but it would be the end of the relationship for me.

It would be a hell no from me. It's not a significant 'first' and is wildly inappropriate when one parent is in a long-term relationship.

A child doesn't need mum and dad together for a holiday, in fact it could be quite confusing for them and make them wonder why it isn't like that all the time.

First day at school, yes both parents take the child in. Parents evenings and majoring hobby events, both parents should go.

No.
If you booked a holiday for you your partner and his child would she want to tag along?

I think it would depend on the holiday. If it were for a cultural attraction or to visit a family member, would think is possibly OK. Not just for a week or more sat reading a book in the sun.

First holiday abroad is not some sort of milestone. If your DP wants to take him away then why don't you go on your own holiday?

Anyway it would be a no from me. Separated parents don't need to make memories together.