Feeling a bit meh about a comment a friend made to me. She is a parent to one school age child and was saying about how hard things are with said child in terms of school runs, things for school, dress up days, clubs, homework etc. I said I understand how hard it all is. She said I couldn’t understand and despite me explaining the following, she said I don’t have kids and I couldn’t possibly understand.
I don’t have kids, but I am a nanny. My nanny kids are both in KS1 and their parents are 2 paediatric junior doctors in a hospital who work very long hours. This is absolutely no judgement as they do a vital job, but they take over about an hour before bed time and I will have the kids all sorted out ready for some quality time without them needing to do anything else. Within the day I do school runs, pick ups, go back and forth to their clubs, bath the children, cook their tea and prepare any snacks, battling with them to do the home work and reading everyday, get them dressed for bed and do the evenings dishes. I also take on the things the parents don’t have the time for, preparing costumes (their school has SO many ‘dress like X’ days), preparing activities etc. Any of you with multiple children will understand what it’s like trying to do homework with one child and the other is having a tantrum, wanting something else or just generally needing attention.
I don’t get home till 7.30pm and then I have to feed myself and do all the necessary things to run my own house. AIBU to think she’s ignorant to how much work my job is? No they aren’t my kids but I spend more time with them than anyone else I know and I’m doing everything but bed times. I don’t get to have lazy days either as it’s what I’m paid to do, there’s no leaving dishes till the morning or just watching a film for the evening and calling it a day.
It’s not the first time people with children have told me have told me I don’t understand what it’s like to have kids. I’ve cared for children longer than any of my friends have had them.