DNA test

I'd be thinking similar. I'd do the test so he could see how baseless his accusations were, but it would also be the end of our relationship, it isn't something I would be able to get over.

I'd do the dna test for both kids, prove they are his and then leave him ensuring I had a good lawyer to take him to the fucking cleaners!! I could never be someone who didn't trust me!!

Accusing his wife of cheating is a "quirk of his personality"?

I'd do the DNA test 100% I wouldn't allow any question over my childrens parentage.

But I'd also hand him divorce papers at the same time. There would never be any coming back from this for me.

This.

I would be beyond furious. I'd do DNA tests on all of you to make a point.

This. Perhaps ‘serious exploring’ rather than or in addition to ‘serious groveling’

Just say 'youre a funny old thing' and see it as a quirk of his personality and get the test done.

It is a bit odd if there really is noone in his wider family with blue eyes - it could be someone has lied further back in his family... That might contribute to why he is an insecure person

Normally if there's not any obvious appearance resemblance to a parent or grandparent there is something else eg likes the same food or sport or personality wise eg very laid back or obsessively tidy or tendency to same illnesses

@defective yeah it just interested me because of the (outing) situation that happened around that generation that I found out and it also links in to our family surname which was lovely to find
Also because you get people who are so racist and bang on about their bloodline being 100% white or whatever....

It's amazing isn't it.

Another thing I find interesting is the mannerisms that get passed down.

My brother and I both rub our feet when we are tired / falling asleep, my dad does it too. At the last family get together I found out one of my cousins does too.

Everybody will have black people somewhere in their family tree, mathematically impossible not to

I would do the DNA test and never forgive him for it. This would poison the relationship for me.

After doing some ancestry my mums great great grandad was black
Here's a very old pic of my mum that I've cropped, brown eyes and very dark olive toned skin, the rest of the family has the same colouring, my cousins, uncle etc

I'm a green eyed redhead with the palest skin ever. But there's no doubt I am my mums!

I absolutely would be reconsidering the relationship if that is the level of trust. However many times on here we see trust your gut, go through their phone, use an air tag, hire a private investigator. Is this really any different?

Genetics is a lottery it can throw up allsorts of combinations. I wouldn't tolerate him and his family's accusations and would be showing the whole bloody lot of them.thw door

It’s more complex than that. I too have a brown eyed child, neither mine nor his Dads eyes are brown. We looked into it out of curiosity (there was never a suggestion I cheated) and it’s totally possible albeit a rare occurrence

Not normal and I'd be hugely offended if this were my partner. Our youngest looks like a tiny version of my mum and her family. His genes haven't come through at all. And yet he's never even intimated that she might not be his because of course she is. Disgusting behaviour.

The trouble with sending him links about how genetics works is that he has a point. Blue is a recessive allele, so he could be carrying it and not showing it BUT one of HIS parents would likely be showing it, or one of his grandparents. it has to be in his family somewhere, and if he can't see it anywhere at all other than in his child, yes, he is going to question.

It looks from the OP that there are no blue eyes anywhere in the family. Is he of African or Asian decent? if so it is possible that a blue allele could be passed down for many generations without being obvious. But it is unusual

OP, if he has a genuine query, then maybe a paternity test would put his mind at rest? As long as you make it clear this is a one off, and you are not going to be proving yourself with other things regularly,

It is a biggy though, and if he has doubts, maybe it is best to settle them early, for the child's sake

Am I the only one who thinks dna tests should be conducted routinely, as a matter of fact on EVERY baby.

This would stop men raising children who are not their own. It would also get around those infrequent (but probably happens more than we'd think) incidents of baby swapping st hospitals...

I don't see the harm at all.

It would also mean we have a confirmed dna ancestry tree of our entire planet. I see it as an all-round win.

I'm one of 3. My older brother has dark brown hair and brown eyes, like our father had. I have dark brown hair and blue eyes, like our mother had. My younger brother has fair hair and blue eyes. I have a cleft chin/dimple, which absolutely nobody else on either side of the family has - it was long believed that this was impossible if neither parent had one; fortunately, I am like a 50-50 clone of both my parents!

Your partner needs to know quite a bit more about genetics before he starts accusing you of infidelity, which is clearly causing harm to your relationship.

brown is dominant, so one of the parents has to have it, and it has to show

I'd be hurt, but already knowing the answer, I'd have no problems going through with it.

I'd make him make it up to you though.

"When this test comes back as yours, you've got some grovelling to do. You've basically accused me of cheating, and a simple dinner or pair of earrings isn't going to cut it."

SHow him this https://nypost.com/2015/03/02/meet-the-bi-racial-twins-no-one-believes-are-sisters/

One of my friends says the one thing she never expected to have was a white child because she is black and so was the father of her child.

Her great grandfathers genes popped up and one white child was born.

All of this.

His accusation, that another man fathered your child, is very serious. He should understand that many women could not forgive this.

I'd also be concerned about how he treats the child if he believes he's not his son.

I wonder if he's been faithful to you tbh. Accusing you like this is very odd behaviour.

Tell him to get it done himself as it's only him questioning it. My parents were both brown eyed and dark haired. I am blonde and blue eyed. The resemblance is so strong that I've had complete strangers who knew both my parents approach me in the street saying that they knew exactly who I was because they said I am the image of my father but also very like my mum and they knew straight away it was me.