DNA test

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/made-at-ucl/stories/face-cheddar-man-revealed

If my dh was unsure of any of our dc and wanted a DNA test I’d be throwing him back in the water with the other fishes.
My eldest looks like dh, but my youngest looks a carbon copy of me.

Then why are you implying the OP has cheated?

Can you point me to a reference?

Yes we do know, go back a couple of hundred generations and everyone in the UK and Europe had what we would call black skin, mostly with blue eyes

If you go back far enough everyone has African ancestry, I'm not sure if we know the skin colour of the first human beings, happy to be corrected if we do.

And I'm not stupid, I know these tests are more for amusement. Everyone else I know who has done one has a much more varied set of results.

@Beezknees That's impossible.

I was born with light blue eyes and white blonde hair. As a teen my hair was still white blonde but my eyes went navy blue. Now, my hair is darker blonde with very dark eyes. So dark in fact I can’t work out their colour!

I am a geneticist with a particular interest in evolutionary biology

You have shown you know SFA about biology but are now talking about evolutionary genetics?

I’d get the test to stop the nonsense, but on the proviso that he enters counselling with you or on his own for his trust issues and to work towards stopping his families toxic bullshit impacting your relationship.

I’d explain you think less of him for his insinuations that you’ve had an affair and now see him in a different light and you will have to see how the relationship goes moving forward.

not sure i could be with someone that can’t grasp basic genetics nor trusts me.

Does he fuck! There is zero base for his accusations and especially based on eye or hair colour.

And you may be a slave to your basic biology but some of us have evolved to more intelligent and restrained beings.

I don't understand the hatred for this man on here. He has grounds for a genuine concern, based on what has been said about eye colour in the family on here. He has asked for his mind to be put at rest. Surely he has done the adult thing, rather than let it fester inside him for decades and poison his relationship with both his child and his partner.

Many women do cheat. Particularly around ovulation. It gives an evolutionary advantage. In that sense it is natural behaviour.

I think just do the test and put it all behind you and move forward as a family. Unless there are other reasons to end the relationship, of course

I would think he has cheated on you at some point and he’s projecting.

Really awful behaviour. I would get the test to shut down comments from the family that will affect your child and to stop him behaving differently. Then I would tell him the relationship was over now once the results were back.

you cant do a DNA test on a lock of hair.....

Pack his bags when he’s at work, leave them outside and include a lock of your DC’s hair in an envelope - he can get a DNA test if he wants to but he’s already lost everything. Horrible fucking man, if he has trust issues he shouldn’t be entering into a marriage and having 2 children

He doesn’t “basically” think you have cheated, he thinks you have cheated full stop. Why is he asking for a DNA test, get him to order his own DNA test. Then I would be considering if I wished to continue in the relationship.

I actually don’t have children, but if I did and my husband asked me to prove paternity on the basis of eye colour I don’t think I could come back from that.

Do the test
Give him the results showing he is the father alongside your divorce papers and request for child maintenance

I dont think you understand how the ancestry test works. It is telling you ( unreliably - but that is a different question) that you have for example "2 bits of Yorkshire". But the Yorkshire gene pool will be a certain percentage of black African origin, a certain percentage Scandinavian origin, a certain percentage southern European origin, etc.

You will have black African ancestors definitely, with a yorkshire background, quite a few, as well as a huge viking input

Not true.

Eye and hair colour are more complex than what you learnt in school biology.

I would get the dna test done

then I would present him with divorce papers as he obviously has no trust in me and that’s no way to have a marriage

I would be extremely offended over this and couldn’t see me having any future with my DH if he made such a request.

Taking it from a basic genetic level blond hair and blue eyes are both recessive genes. ( there are some other expression factors in place but not relevant here).
This means that you can carry a recessive gene for hundreds of generations and not see it untill you procreate with someone else with that has the recessive gene. So there may not be many in his family with those traits but that doesn't mean his family aren't carriers. A single blond cousin would indicate his family cary the blonde gene.

This. With bells on.

When my aunt was looking into our family tree we were quite disappointed that we seem to be white going back forever.

I did an ancestry DNA and my gene pool is two bits of Yorkshire and 2 bits of Ireland with less than 1% Iberian.

I seriously have the most boring genetics / ancestry.