Friend in need

You can't put your baby or your selves at risk and you can support him in other ways like words of encouragement

Of course he shouldn't live with you especially if he is still using. He obviously is otherwise he wouldn't have got kicked out of rehab. don't they recommend that you lose contact with all other users except through alcoholics anonymous or narcotics anonymous?

Yes you have, without any doubt you have done the right thing.

You're doing the right thing but I know it's so hard ❤️ I would not have someone using around my kids, even without the risk to your own sobriety.

Well done on your recovery XXX

Do not let an addict who has been thrown out of rehab stay at your home when you and your husband are in recovery and have a baby to think of. It would be madness if you did. Your family’s wellbeing has to come first. He has been kicked out of rehab for a reason.

I am so sorry you are in this horrible situation. If he has been kicked out of rehab, I would guess he is doing things which may challenge what you need to do to stay safe. So I think it is the right decision, but perhaps keep in touch with him, meet him outside the house, etc.

He can’t stay. Well done for making the decision, but perhaps take some time to reflect why you are questioning yourself. You know it is the right thing, you have a baby, a husband, your friend has used in your bathroom, you are recovering and must guard your sobriety at all costs - yet still you doubt yourself.

NO ! Your 1st responsibility is to your baby.

Yes you have done the right thing. He must be drinking to get kicked out of rehab, he's not safe near you or your baby x

Yes you're doing the right thing. Your baby and your own health is too important.

As a parent you must put your baby first. And doing that means you don't bring an addict into their home. If it we're just adults in the house I would still advise against it, but ultimately you'd be free to take the risk if you chose to. As a parent you're not free, you have a responsibility to your child.

If social services discover you've got an addict in the house with your baby they will come snooping, and very likely start questioning whether you can be trusted to make the right decisions to protect your child, especially with your own history of addiction.

I get that you want to help your friend, and yes you're probably right that he may not live much longer with the path he is going down. However, to churn out an age old saying, you can't help someone who won't help themselves.

Addiction is awful, and it is very very sad. But you must protect yourself and your child.

Please don’t take him in. My parents took a heroin addict / alcholics in to our family home from when I was 7 ... ‘to help people and do the right thing’. It screwed me right up. Your home should be 100% safe for your children and YOU.

You are not being unreasonable. To alleviate any guilt you might feel, you had a choice between him and your baby. You chose your baby.

He’s not your responsibility. You’ve done the right thing.

You can't help people who won't help themselves. It sounds like others have tried to help him, but he can't or won't accept help.

You must put your family and yourself first. He has already abused your hospitality before and you have every good reason to think he will do so again.

He will drag you down if he can, so don't give him the chance. Addicts like the company of addicts, so he is a threat to your new life and happiness. Taking him in won't help him, but it will probably harm your family. Don't let him do it.

You absolutely have done the right thing. You'd be completely mad to have your friend come and stay. Waaaaaay to risky .

You can’t have him in your house with a baby; you just can’t. On top of that it risks your recovery. He’s not your responsibility. We’ve had this with a friend and felt bad but our DC have to come first

He has messaged me today to tell me he has been kicked out of rehab, his parents don't want him at the house and can he stay with me for a few days.

Four years sober you KNOW the answer to this. It's written in 5 foot neon letters in your brain. I suspect your own addiction has been working out a little and is trying to find ways to get you. Having an actively using addict in your house is dangerous.

Are you courting danger. Did life get too good?

That must have been really hard OP. Well done for making the right decision.

You must be feeling guilty but I completely agree it's the right decision. He has got himself to this point, made decisions that meant he was kicked out of rehab, and it is not your responsibility to try to save him or even put a roof over his head. He broke your trust the last time. Congratulations on being clean and sober for so long! You have to put yourself and your family first

Do not let him. You are in recovery and need to think of yourself.

You've done the right thing, don't feel guilty, your baby is the priority.

You were right to say no.

I understand though. I had to do something similar to a friend once when I first had a baby. She would have put me at risk. I would feel guilty too and did feel very guilty. But you have to put your baby and your own recovery first. I'm sorry it's so difficult

It's not as easy decision but it's probably the right one, if you foresee a terrible outcome for him then obviously it's gonna bother you though. I ended a relationship with someone on a similar note and I still feel bad about it now but also know what the outcome would have been had I stuck with it