How skint are you ?

@Boydd Just checking in to see how things were going. I hope you have been successful in getting a little help at such a difficult time.

How is he supposed to get a second job too? Surely only one of you can, so someone is in the house with the children of an evening?

Not sure I would working extra & killing myself if it’s not a joint effort. He will get to the end & think oh that wasn’t too bad as it didn’t directly affect him. Not sure how you can make him sit up & take notice, meeting with the bank to discuss finances ? Financial advisor ? pensions advisor. His Dad? Wonder if he would actually take more notice of a man rather than you, just a thought.

@Catpuss66 TBH, I don't think my OH is as concerned about the debt as I am. I'm not worried about it in terms of not being able to pay each month, but I don't want the debt hanging around my/our neck (coz that's how it feels) for any longer than it needs to be. It's a burden. I want it gone forever. We could have so much more money to enjoy each month if we weren't paying (around) £800 a month towards debt. My goal is to pay off as quickly as we can. I do not want years and years of more debt. DH is (slightly) ignorant to it all, IMO.
It's all joint debt.

Seems like you are trying to swim upstream, with one half of the team not playing ball. Why are you killing yourself taking on extra working to get rid of the debt but your other half refuses to get a second job? Who incurred this debt or should I not ask this question?

@Mybigtoenail90 that sounds hard, but I think when you’ve finished paying off your loans this year and you have 500 a month to throw at the other debts you’ll find the snowball effect snowballs quickly. Especially as your store card debt is quite small - that will be gone in just 2 months of you new payments. 💐

@Nanaof1 is it very overwhelming. I sit doing sums every day trying to work out how we can pay some more off each month and looking at different repayment plans/budgets/options to see where we will be financially/debt wise in a year/2 years. The debt is all on the lowest interest possible and I move it around to get the lowest rates. The 2 loans will end Dec this year, we will then be left with the credit card debts of £13k, family debt of £4.5k & a store card £1k.

@Happilyobtuse it's a combination of some poor planning/budgeting and some very unexpected expenses.

@Rogley you've done so well to get the debt cleared. That is really good going.

I have looked at second jobs, plus my overtime. Potentially working overnight shifts on an ad-hoc basis as I couldn't do every night due to working FT in the day. DH wont get a second job. That is a long story. He works FT and while I am doing overtime he sorts the DC & house etc.

Hang in there @Mybigtoenail90. Debt can feel so overwhelming, can't it? We had a lot of debt, poor choices and "set-backs". We went bare-bones and have started to see the end of the tunnel after 7 years. Or were, until the car bill that we just got for 5.5K. But, we did it once, we can do it again. But it does feel like it is never-ending.
I am so sorry that you are having to do so much now. Working 12-hour days would drain the best of us.
I wish you the very best and hope that you keep on moving forward. The light at the end of your tunnel will start with a flicker, then burn much brighter in time.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast yes i get you and recall having no money. I remember breast feeding and asking my family for support ( well off) for food . I was given one pound. Felt insulted.

since then I have realised i am alone with money even though I come from a well off family. They are spending it all on private number plates , long haul month long holidays , but would not think to help our dc out in any way when it would not affect them in the slightest. Their choice . But i never want to be insulted like that again .

Due to this i constantly feel skint - in that i save and live frugally - i am choosing to be skint ( ie skint not poor) because i do not have to financial room to save money( its a new thing to have hard won savings and it is worth it never to feel i have to ask fromhelp again)AND eat other than the absolute basics etc .
so i live and feel skint now because I feel i cant be in that position again .
sometimes even if people have savings they have psychological reasons why they cannot allow themselves to feel safe money wise .
money can be odd .

Is the mortgage in both your names? Is the debt in both your names?

A few of my relatives have filed for bankruptcy and I think it was the right thing for them.

I would speak to a debt charity for proper advice.

Skint, but shouldn't be. I earn a decent amount and have two jobs (one main job and one part time). However, I am the only wage earner in the family and there are many additional demands from family, including care related bills.

Sorry my post should have been to @Mybigtoenail90 but I tagged the wrong poster

@midnights0 just wanted to say that you will get there eventually, even though it seems never ending and like there's never a way out. In 2020 I had over £18k debt and have now got just under £2.5k left to pay which will be done by the end of this year. Solidarity to you as it's shit

If I may ask, why do you have so much debt?! Was it unavoidable or just due to bad budgeting? Hope you can see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. And if you need financial planning help please seek it. Take care!

@midnights0 we have £22k of debt not including the mortgage. I don't advertise this to friends or family. They all know we have some debt but not to this extent or that I am having to work overtime every week night. They just think I start later in my job each day when in reality I am doing 8am-8pm. I am totally exhausted.

Edited to add we can pay the debts every month, but I cannot see that we will ever get to the end of the all the debts. We have 2 large ones that are due to end Dec 2024. We have been paying these for 5 & 3 years respectively at a combined amount of £500pcm. Once these are gone, then the £500 will go towards other debts each month so we can start paying off larger amounts. I am wishing my life away to settle/clear the debts.

GoFu**Me page

I've just added up my debts and I'm about the same but it's across several which is why I suppose it feels so much worse. If it was on one or two I don't think I'd feel so bad.

@ellie09
OK, my comment seems to have caused a stir.
I should say "from my experience" as anybody I know under 50, does not have an extravagant home, huge savings and live on significantly less than their parents did at that age.

I am sure there are exceptions but I am talking about the majority.

So what you are saying now is significantly different. You are now mentioning extravagant homes.

Amongst my friendship groups, and my sisters friendship group( we are all in our 50s) it has not been that difficult to get £100, 000plus saved and houses paid off.

Many if us live in terraced house, like you see on coronation Street, that were cheap to buy in the late 80's so paid off quickly. By the time a lot of us were in our mid to late 40s, the kids are late teens/adults have left home. With two wages coming in its been easy to save.
Pretty normal amongst my demographic and peers.

I am both disabled and have a disabled child- money thinks I’m dead.

Agreed. It's as tone deaf as jumping on a thread about ill health to boast how well you are. Or a thread about struggling with appearance to boast how beautiful you are.

Someone needs to start a GoFu**Me page for them. I just cannot imagine their pain. /S🙄

Interesting how if you look at similar threads from a few years ago there wasn't posts about having savings as much. People seem to be more self absorbed, tactless and out of touch.

You have LOTS of savings and your "play money" is shortened. You HAVE play money. You have no temporary shortage of funds with "lots of savings". Not wanting to touch savings does not put you in the same category of people who have little to no savings.
My opinion stands.

But hey, if you want sympathy, here you go:

OK, my comment seems to have caused a stir.

I should say "from my experience" as anybody I know under 50, does not have an extravagant home, huge savings and live on significantly less than their parents did at that age.

I am sure there are exceptions but I am talking about the majority.

But you did realise. You’ve read posts from people who have £25 left to feed a family for a week.

And yet you couldn’t contain your glee and you contributed that you spent £15k on a holiday and you have a lot of savings.

You need to learn to read the room and keep it in.