Holiday without the dog

So many people can't differentiate between humans and dogs.

Firstly, the dog is not a “daddy’s girl”. He is not her daddy. It’s a fucking dog 🤦‍♀️
I'm glad someone else thinks so.

I would really have to love a man to even consider spending 7 days instead of 7 hours travelling to a destination, I do get terrible seasickness though.

There are lots of options for solo travel as others have said- group tours, cruises, booking airport transfers if you're not confident, etc. Best of luck!

Queen Mary (Cunard) has capacity for dogs. The S'ton/New York crossing is fabulous in December, but you'd have to check itinerary onwards from NYC. I have only continued to Quebec, so not very Caribbean-like!

There are FB groups for lone female travellers, meet-ups, places to stay, a whole lot of things.

The Caribbean is very varied. I wouldn't go to say, Jamaica as a lone woman (although I know women who do) but I would to Bonaire or the Corn Islands, for example. And although a cruise isn't your choice, it would be safe and easy to do alone. Pick one where you sit with people and you'll soon meet people. Because I've travelled a lot I always pick up the waifs and strays I see!

Or join a tour somewhere. That ends in a beachy place. Meet people, get a feel, then some beach at the end.

If your DH was happy to fly to a skiing holiday with his mates, but won't fly for your birthday, it sounds like he is just being difficult. Could you leave him behind with the dog and go off on a cruise with a friend? He should be putting you first with any birthday, but most certainly a significant one.

I think this is key. There is a real difference between loving someone’s dog and being happy to look after for a week or two whilst they go on a family holiday; and having it for a month.

In the reverse of this thread it would be “Is my friend a CF, I really love looking after their dog for a fortnight in the summer when we can take it for nice walks as a family. She has now asked me to look after it for a whole month in the winter. I don’t really fancy walk after walk trudging round in the dark and the mud particularly when it is so cold. I don’t want her to think we don’t love the dog-we do. But 4 weeks seems a bit much?”

Would the friends even want to look after your dog for two weeks over Christmas, let alone a month?

you must be creeped out a lot in life 😂

Mine the same *sparkellie, , scrumptious little rescue. Would be traumatised at being left as I think would most dogs if they were 24/7 sort!

@regenerate

People like you who check posting history are bloody creepy

I have a velcro dog. I wouldn't leave her for more than 24 hours unless I absolutely had to. She would be distressed and I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself knowing that. Even 24hrs is a push for me. She doesn't like other people and hates it if they come round when I'm not there (hides/refuses to come near them etc) even if she knows them.
Obviously I don't know your husbands dog, and mine is extreme, but there's no way I'd be leaving any dog with someone else for 4 weeks. They can't understand why you are leaving and don't know you will come back. It's not fair if not necessary.
I think you would be irresponsible to even consider 4 weeks, and if your husband isn't up to flying you need to consider another holiday, or as pp suggested go with someone else. Having a dog is a commitment and you can't just drop that because you fancy a nice long holiday without considering the impact on the dog.

It's a big leap from being with you all day and night 24/7 to being left for weeks at a time . Or is she used to being left?

You are not being unreasonable. The dog can go to a dog sitter if you can't find family. You can get ones that stay in your house if he's bothered about the dog going elsewhere.

Honestly the idea that you can't possible leave a dog cared for by other people while you go on a nice holiday completely rediculous. It's a dog. As long as dog is cared for you should be able to leave it. He might not be keen on flying but surely he can cope if he's not terrified of flying.

He is putting the dog before you on your big birthday.

Have you actually asked your H to help problem solve this?

You really want to go to the carribean with him for your birthday. He doesn't want to leave the dog for 3-4 weeks. Ask him how he thinks you can achieve both.

He may (hopefully will) come out with the radical idea that he doesn't mind flying for this after all.

You need a conversation talking in facts not emotions. You feel like he isnt prioritising you or putting you first for your hig birthday. He doesnt want to leave the dog for 3 weeks.

Unless one of you changed your mind, your choices are to both go for a shorter period or him staying home.

Seriously consider parking the cruise to the Caribbean and agreeing to take a break from having a dog when he passes and to prioritise longer holidays then.

In the meantime, plenty of people go on solo holidays. In my day people went with G Adventures but I think Trailfinders also do solo group holidays. They were always really good. I would start there. The trios I took were a bit tough and ready but I think they do pusher ones and I'd be surprised if there isnt another company catering to the singles market wanting a pusher experience.

4 weeks is definitely a bit much to be away for someone’s birthday. I’m guessing you are asking him to use up pretty much all of his annual leave for you. I’m not sure I would be up for that but would probably not want to say it so I’d blame it on the dog instead.

it’s just a day of the year that you happened to be born on, I think you should lower your expectations somewhat when it comes to what you think others should sacrifice for it.

also, would hate to be on a cruise ship in the Atlantic in the middle of the winter.

If your dog is with you 24/7 (never left on her own ever, as my little darling is) how do you think even a few nights apart will affect her?

Of course he should put you before the dog. He presumably trusts his friends to look after it, so three weeks away won't do it any harm. He clearly doesn't have an actual phobia of flying, so if he's bothered about the length of time away from the dog he should man up and get on the plane.

I commented in the dogs hijacking thread how I couldn't understand how people allow pets to rule their lives. This is a prime example of it.

I think the flying is a red herring. The hushand doesn't wang to go on holiday without his dog. Also 4 weeks vs 2 weeks: the holiday is 2 weeks but the travelling is another 2 weeks if they don't take a plane.

Go without him. He's being a selfish arse.

I wouldn't leave my dog for 4 weeks, even with family, unless it was an emergency situation. I leave with family for 7/8 nights and that's my maximum.

Four weeks is a long time to leave a house, empty. Would you consider getting a house sitter that also likes dogs?

Anyway, I would not want to sail to the Caribbean just to start the cruise. It feels like such a long waste of time. But then cruising does not appeal to me anyway.