Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Vaping at work

84 replies

Supermummy88 · 16/01/2024 19:01

Good evening all,

Not quite a AIBU, but I’m in a really difficult situation at work. I just started a new job back in October at a secondary school(I’m a teacher). It’s a nice department and I feel like I’ve settled in well. One of the other teachers who I get on well with has vaped in my classroom on an occasion. This was when there was also another member of staff in my classroom. Considering I’m new and don’t like to get involved in any work place conflict, I didn’t say anything to anyone but did advise her not to and recommended that she perhaps go outside of the school building.

However, today my line manager has told me that other members of staff have told her that this teacher has vaped in my classroom and that i now need to write up a statement confirming that she has vaped. I had no choice but to write a short statement. I also got told that she already had a verbal warning about vaping on the school premises before I had started.

She is a lovely person and very helpful…shares her resources etc. Should I talk to her and tell her about the situation and that she could perhaps get a written warning about this? And maybe let her know that I had to write a statement, or should I leave it? I’ve never been in any sort of situation like this before. I don’t want my line manager being annoyed with me either as I’ve just started here.

Thank you xxx

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Supermummy88 · 19/01/2024 19:47

@stomachameleon I just feel things were a bit awkward between me and the other teacher today…however she still came into my room to have lunch for some reason. She kept saying that she can tell from my face that I look very stressed out! I just kept quiet and kept the conversation very generic! The headteacher still hasn’t spoken to me about it yet. He did see me today but didn’t really make eye contact.

OP posts:
stomachameleon · 19/01/2024 19:38

How have things been @Supermummy88?

DojaPhat · 18/01/2024 21:18

There are two types of people who absolutely love drama - those who shout about absolutely loving drama from the roof tops and those who shout from the roof tops they 'absolutely don't want any drama' while engaging in drama.

Supermummy88 · 18/01/2024 21:06

And there was me thinking that she was such a nice person. I only realised yesterday when I saw her dramatic reaction when I told her that I’ve been approached by line manager about her vaping in my room and to please not do it again as it’s put me in a very awkward situation. She went straight to line manager shouting that she’s resigning because there’s no trust in the school and that line manager has breached staff confidentiality by talking about her to me.
I just couldn’t believe that she didn’t hear me out properly and reacted the way she did. She could have stayed quiet and calm and thought ‘ok I’ve been caught out, I need to stop vaping in the classrooms’. She also then said to me ‘your either a very good liar or your telling the truth’ (about me saying that I was approached, as headteacher has said I approached management)

OP posts:
ArnieLinson · 18/01/2024 20:43

You cannot avoid this teacher but if she mentions anything about the incident say that it is better that it is not discussed.
this. Stay a professional distance from the vaper as she clearly has form. Be factual with your side with the head.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 18/01/2024 20:32

Not your clown and not your circus.

All her own doing and let's be honest you can't believe anything she says anyway. The woman has zero credibility.

Ignore it, forget about it and if there's as much of a sniff of bullshit out if management. Ask him what is the issue - they asked you about something and you answered truthfully.

Tattletwat · 18/01/2024 20:26

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/01/2024 18:30

I'll bet you a tenner that he didn't tell her anything of the sort - she probably said 'It was Supermummy, wasn't it? Wasn't it?' and he didn't respond one way or the other (or said 'that's not important, what is important is that you were vaping in a classroom').

Actually, no, twenty quid.

Exactly that's what I said earlier in thread she's bullsbitting to save her own skin and to take others down.

Don't converse with her at all from now on. Shes made her bed and she's vile.

MrsHamlet · 18/01/2024 19:39

As a professional head teacher he shouldn’t have told her anything at all! He knew she had vaped before in a classroom and still took time out to listen to her side of the story

Of course he listened to her side. That's how investigations work.

I concur with the poster who says he told her nothing.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/01/2024 18:30

Supermummy88 · 18/01/2024 17:05

@@purplecorkheart of course it’s real. I have had a lot of anxiety over this for the past few days, hence why I’m posting on here. I wouldn’t be wasting my time for no reason. Yes I will hold my hands up and tell him that I was approached about it. However, he’s told her that it was me that approached my line manager about it. As a professional head teacher he shouldn’t have told her anything at all! He knew she had vaped before in a classroom and still took time out to listen to her side of the story

I'll bet you a tenner that he didn't tell her anything of the sort - she probably said 'It was Supermummy, wasn't it? Wasn't it?' and he didn't respond one way or the other (or said 'that's not important, what is important is that you were vaping in a classroom').

Actually, no, twenty quid.

Supermummy88 · 18/01/2024 17:05

@@purplecorkheart of course it’s real. I have had a lot of anxiety over this for the past few days, hence why I’m posting on here. I wouldn’t be wasting my time for no reason. Yes I will hold my hands up and tell him that I was approached about it. However, he’s told her that it was me that approached my line manager about it. As a professional head teacher he shouldn’t have told her anything at all! He knew she had vaped before in a classroom and still took time out to listen to her side of the story

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 18/01/2024 16:58

If this is real and tbh I have serious doubts you need to act a lot more professional.

You cannot avoid this teacher but if she mentions anything about the incident say that it is better that it is not discussed.

If you get called into the Headmaster holding your hands up and say that you should have told her to stop and reported her. However be clear with him that it was not you who approached your manager but the other person and that you want that fact documented.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/01/2024 16:51

The head is more likely to want to speak to you to find out whether she's harassing you (which she is) than bollock you for picking on his 'friend'.

She'd love it if you walked out in panic, though, as she'd claim it meant you'd made it all up - and is exactly why she's intimidating you now.

Alwaysalwayscold · 18/01/2024 16:43

Supermummy88 · 18/01/2024 16:33

She’s also asked me again today if headteacher has spoken to me. I’ve decided if he wants to speak to me and confront me, I will walk out with immediate effect. I have already told him what happened yday before this teacher spoke to him. After she spoke to him he wants to see me again.

That's really over dramatic and it reflects badly on you. If you go storming out you will definitely be looked at as though you've done something wrong.

It would be much better to have a formal conversation or even send an email explaining your thoughts. I feel like you're really making this (or allowing her to make you make this) into a huge drama when it really needn't be.

Next time she brings it up just say you're done talking about it and don't wish to discuss it again

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/01/2024 16:40

Why is it a “delicate situation”. Surely it’s pretty obvious that teachers shouldn’t be vaping in schools. If she decides to be idiotic, that’s her look out 🤷‍♀️

stomachameleon · 18/01/2024 16:38

If my headteacher spoke to me about an incident I would just confirm what happened and who was there.
All this talk of people walking out or leaving is all very melodramatic. It's unprofessional and you have a contract as does she.
I would do nothing and see what pans out.
You appear to be taking her word for everything.
Just teach and get on with the job.

Supermummy88 · 18/01/2024 16:33

She’s also asked me again today if headteacher has spoken to me. I’ve decided if he wants to speak to me and confront me, I will walk out with immediate effect. I have already told him what happened yday before this teacher spoke to him. After she spoke to him he wants to see me again.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/01/2024 16:24

Supermummy88 · 18/01/2024 09:00

So a quick update…she’s come into my room saying the head teacher has said I’m the one who approached my line manager about her vaping in my room. She’s then said that the headteacher is very disappointed that I’ve lied and made out that I was approached by my line manager and that it seems like I’m playing both sides because I don’t want to look like the bad one in this. Headteacher walked past me and ignored me this morning. Honestly I’m just thinking about leaving here now because if this has happened just within my first I don’t know what else will happen. Apparently head teacher also told her that he wants to interview me about this.

She's lying. Submit a grievance about her, as she's trying to intimidate and threaten you.

GrammarTeacher · 18/01/2024 16:07

That doesn't make sense and someone vaping in a classroom makes no sense

Supermummy88 · 18/01/2024 15:58

@GrammarTeacher what doesn’t make sense? I am baffled that the head teacher hasn’t done anything about it as it’s the second time it’s happened September…that’s what doesn’t make sense to me!

OP posts:
GrammarTeacher · 18/01/2024 12:51

But none of this makes sense. Seriously, if this is true you must go to the governors. It's utterly ridiculous.

Supermummy88 · 18/01/2024 12:39

@GrammarTeacher this is exactly why I’ve posted. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. Line manager has said she’s been taking advantage as I’m new and don’t really know many members of staff here. But apparently the head has told her a different story and said I’m the one who approached line manager about this.

OP posts:
GrammarTeacher · 18/01/2024 10:55

You have. None of this makes sense. This wouldn't happen in Waterloo Rd. It's not the 50s. Staff don't do that. I have never heard anything like this in over 20 years as a teacher. It is ridiculous.
If it's true this needs escalating further. It is ridiculous.

Supermummy88 · 18/01/2024 10:50

@GrammarTeacher I know, totally my fault. I just don’t know what I was thinking not saying anything. I feel like I’ve totally messed up!

OP posts:
GrammarTeacher · 18/01/2024 09:39

I'm sorry but if you have 15 years experience why the hell did you get drawn into nonsense instead of reporting gross misconduct straight away. I mean come on!

stomachameleon · 18/01/2024 09:37

@Tattletwat I absolutely agree. I would be furious.