To be disappointed partner booked "holiday" ?

The only thing I'd be particularly annoyed at is the return to a different airport. For some reason that always feels more of a faf.

Would have been nice for him to suggest prior to booking, but as a one off I'd get on board and just mention that you'd like the heads up before changing plans.

*Yes.

If theyed said "I'll book us a surprise" and I said "I'm down for that" that would be fine. Turning up at my office and saying "I've booked dinner at a steak place" isn't*

@mouseychick oh what fun you must be!!

So if a couple both like booking surprise meals/hotel stays etc for each other are both parties controlling?

What if your DP bought you a surprise for Christmas - is that them controlling you by telling you what you should like?

@Theatrefan12

Healthy relationships involve spontaneity and doing surprises for each other.

Healthy relationships actually involve respect.

If you are the type of person who enjoys spontaneous stuff, great. But that's not the default position, default is respect.

My sister does that, She lives in GC and will come to us annually for three nights. Sees the family, does some shopping, eats out and goes back. She doesn't arrive till something like 8pm and goes out on a morning flight.

If there was already a plan to go to a specific restaurant (Leeds) and this was unilaterally changed to a different one further away then yes, I'd also find that rude and frankly weird behaviour.

Same, I’m not even a massive control freak but I think he should’ve checked first -. although I accept he might have done it with the best of intentions.

But I’d be fine with 3 nights there as it’s not that far away.

I’m planning to go to Bali for a week this spring.

I don't have a partner.

I'd rather get up early and come home late than have extra time in hotels. But then I don't like sleeping elsewhere for the sake of it, I'd rather longer at the destination or else be at home in my own bed.

In theory, yes absolutely. In practice, I'd be very happy if DP told me we were going to grab canaria in 4 weeks for three days so long as he knew I had the annual leave and hadn't forgotten something important like who looks after the kid/dog.

Oh for goodness sake no it’s not

And if that’s the level of paranoia you have in your life then I am sorry for you but it’s not normal in a healthy relationship

Healthy relationships involve spontaneity and doing surprises for each other. This is the second thread in as many days where OP is unhappy about where their partner has booked for their holiday which is a gift and wanting it changed.

It's fine just ask him first!

I would be very annoyed that he had booked it anyway however long it was

I was thinking of doing exactly the same thing for my DH - 3 days and 4 nights in the Canaries for less than the cost of a weekend away in the UK. I didn't realise I'd be seen as being a control freak! I thought it would be a nice little break, some much needed Vitamin D and some time to be together.

I think you are being ungrateful and looking for the negatives.

Yes.

If theyed said "ill book us a surprise" and I said "I'm down for that" that would be fine. Turning up at my office and saying "I've booked dinner at a steak place" isn't

I wouldn't be happy either.

Flights are cheap but all the other costs add up and I hate getting up early. Ruins the whole holiday.

Jesus wept, I’m obviously doing this life thing all wrong! I haven’t been abroad for over 6 years and you’re moaning about your parter booking a spontaneous trip away!! Get a grip.

Your '99%' would love a spontaneous holiday without any consultation whatsoever is falling apart a bit @HarrietStyles. I think there's you and one other on this thread so far who are happy for others to decide what you do with your weekends.

They can book what they want for themselves

"Nothing wrong with going away but telling someone that's what you're doing is controlling. They have no chance to say er no."

@mouseychick what if your partner booked a meal out as a surprise? Would them picking the restaurant be controlling??

I've done gran canaria for 3 nights.
It'll be a lovely little break!

Mouseychick, by that definition any surprise is controlling

I know right? I'd be fuming and say go yourself.

You've time off booked. You obviously like travelling abroad if you have two other trips booked. He seems to have worked out logistics. Unless you were going to Leeds to see a specific event or friends then maybe just look forward to the sunshine.

Did some people prekids not have fun stuff to do most weekends?

I'm thinking pre kids me an dhs weekends would have been filled with our hobbies (sports) and at least one night of Friday or Saturday seeing friends.

So a city break weekend would have been doable, and we did it often, but not without discussion and thought.

To be able to do these things on a whim on a Friday night must mean that you would have nothing on and you would need to be sure your partner had nothing on.
So, for those that go/went prekids in spontaneous weekends away deciding on a Friday; do you otherwise do nothing with your weekends?