To be disappointed partner booked "holiday" ?

Genuinely sorry that you were in a controlling relationship previously, must have been horrible. But if your partner now isn’t allowed to book anything fun without asking for your permission beforehand…… then isn’t that you being somewhat controlling?

I'd be absolutely thrilled. I haven't had any foreign sun since 2011. Haven't been abroad since 2019 - if you count Guernsey.

TBH you sound terribly spoiled.

My heart is bleeding for you

Sounds good especially if it's a decent hotel.

Yes you're being unreasonable. A 3 day break somewhere warm sounds like bliss!
Be spontaneous.

So you've tagged an extra night on to your holiday for an extra £15.....I honestly fail to see the issue 🤷🏻‍♀️

You've got a 4 night break for a time when you're already got a week of work.

Enjoy the moment, let your hair down and try and see some positives instead of constantly looking for negatives.
If I'd booked a surprise holiday for my DP and I got this reaction I'd tell him to stay at home and I'd go on my own or with a mate.

Talk about putting a dampener on everything

I think for that price I'd be thrilled tbh! You won't need much for a few days, so you would only need to pack a small case (hand luggage size).

@highlo

It sounds like there are 2 camps of people:
1) control freaks who need to have a say in (and plan) everything.
2) those of us who like romantic surprises, a bit of spontaneity and effort from our partners.

Yes of course; everyone who likes to be involved in holiday planning is a control freak

Don't be so bloody stupid. You can be ok with having things planned for you but do my the basic respect of not calling me a freak for feeling differently.

Wow, I'd absolutely love that!! Even a day of heat and sunshine sounds fabulous right now!!

I don't think anyone is saying a spontaneous weekend away isn't fun, they're saying it's pretty out of order not to check with your partner first. (Unless said partner is one of those 'laidback' types who don't do fuck all unless someone else organises it).

Ah fair enough then. I think it sounds lovely and this is coming from someone who adores Leeds as a city break. I bet you will have a grand time

Wow, how ungrateful can one person be?!

For the avoidance of doubt yes you ABU.

Wowowowwow, gonna take me a while to get over this one.

Hmm ... Leeds or Gran Canaria? Hard to choose, they're both so lovely in the middle of February 😅

Btw, you'll be away on Valentine's day, am I right?
Aww ... 🌞💞

Having the night at a hotel instead of a long trek home will be really nice. It's 5 nights altogether, a proper mini-break, and the leisurely travel's genius!

I think that’s fine. I recently went to Tenerife for 3 nights and often go to Dubai to visit my bro for a long weekend and that’s around 7 hours.

id be over the moon if I had a partner who did spontaneous things like this! I think its lovely of him

This situation could be

A) wonderful...
Nothing planned in your life at all for the3 days (which I've never personally had in my entire life post about 3yo but whatever, clearly some people don't) and no money and the kind of person who can't organise stuff, so someone is treating you as a surprise.

Or
B) awful
You were looking forward to Leeds plus 5 days r & r/peace. And someone decides on your behalf to use joint money to do something totally different without checking. Controlliny and Bang out of order.

I'd love it if my partner did this for me!!

Control issues?!

@mouseychick it's not controlling if her DH likes it (which he presumably does otherwise he'd have said "no")

It sounds like there are 2 camps of people:

1. control freaks who need to have a say in (and plan) everything.
2. those of us who like romantic surprises, a bit of spontaneity and effort from our partners.

Neither is wrong but maybe you're not compatible.

They have a weeks annual leave booked so he knew she was free to go. Ok, they had plans to stay in Leeds for 2 nights but who wouldn't choose 3 nights in Gran Canaria over 2 nights in Leeds, especially in February??!

I think her DP sounds lovely and if OP doesn't appreciate it that's her prerogative.

Sounds great to me!

I was previously in a controlling relationship where my every move was dictated so I have issues with this sort of thing too. I don't like anyone deciding for me what I'm going to be doing, I need to have a discussion about it first.

@HarrietStyles

You are the 1% then!

You made that up though. You have no idea what the actual % is, you can't decide I am the 1% because you are ok with it.

If the airport is only 25 mins away why on earth would you need a hotel? You will only claw back 25 mins so makes no sense at all. A hotel is surely for when the airport is hours away

I dont really see your problem, but then again I'm not you. If you've no obligations to sort like pets, children, work etc then fine. If you have and hes just booked it without asking then I'd be annoyed because that sort of stuff usually falls to you.

I think lots of people struggle with January and just want something to look forward to soon-ish.

You are the 1% then!

@HarrietStyles

WTF what a weird conclusion to come to. Pre children my husband I used to do this every now and then - book a last min city break or spa weekend etc on a Friday whilst at work. I bet 99% of people would see this as spontaneous fun.

It's only spontaneous fun for me if I am asked if I want to do it. Having someone else decide I'm travelling abroad isn't spontaneous. It's disrespectful.