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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be disappointed partner booked "holiday" ?

335 replies

closemydoormow · 14/01/2024 12:50

So me and partner have 2 holidays booked this year.
Greece in September and a ski holiday in December.
I'm more than happy with this
He has now told me he has booked us 3 nights in Gran Canaria in 4 weeks
I questioned the 3 nights thing and he said they were really cheap flights (under £20 ) so he thought why not
Aibu to be a bit annoyed
It's a long way to go for 3 nights
We land on the Sunday at 10.30 am
We fly back on the Wednesday at 11.30 am

Would you be annoyed going all that way for 3 nights ?

OP posts:
Klcak · 14/01/2024 13:48

I’d love it as long as it was a nice hotel

mouseychick · 14/01/2024 13:47

Beezknees · 14/01/2024 13:33

I was previously in a controlling relationship where my every move was dictated so I have issues with this sort of thing too. I don't like anyone deciding for me what I'm going to be doing, I need to have a discussion about it first.

Show quote history

Exactly. It's like deciding what someone wears or eats. It's abusive.

kisstheblarney · 14/01/2024 13:47

LTB

mouseychick · 14/01/2024 13:46

campingmama · 14/01/2024 13:30

@mouseychick

Wow, You sound fun! We look at it as exciting, you think it's gonna be a regular weekend but end up somewhere else in the world without a care in the world! Life is very much for living and taking opportunities when they come up.. that weekend was Pisa for £150. I'm clearly a terrible wife!!

Nothing wrong with going away but telling someone that's what you're doing is controlling. They have no chance to say er no.

Kalevala · 14/01/2024 13:46

closemydoormow · 14/01/2024 13:19

Airport is a 25 min taxi ride away but flight is 6 am so will need to book hotel
On way back the flight is to a airport 2 hours away from home
So he's booked a hotel for that night in that city then come home via train next day
It's a lot

The extra hotels would annoy me, are there not early taxis? When would you need to arrive at the airport by? I'd just get the train home the same day personally.

I'd be wondering how cheap the flights really were after factoring in all that versus local airport both ways and no trains and extra hotels.

highlo · 14/01/2024 13:45

Easipeelerie · 14/01/2024 13:41

Why does he make executive decisions without your input? That’s the thing that would bother me.

A 3 day trip when they have a week off is hardly an "executive decision". It's a bit of spontaneous fun

zeibesaffron · 14/01/2024 13:45

I would be delighted 😀

Mirabai · 14/01/2024 13:45

I don’t like the Canaries so I’d be annoyed about that but a 4 hour flight is nothing. A train from London - Edinburgh is longer.

Heather37231 · 14/01/2024 13:45

It’s a bit silly to think a taxi is any less likely to turn up at 3am than at 3pm.

Taxi companies are 24 hour businesses that specialise in moving people from A to B when other transport is not available. Ones that offer airport transfer are used to taking people for early flights, it is their bread and butter. Their offices are manned all night. There is hardly any traffic on the roads at 3 am so the taxi is less likely to get stuck in traffic in its way to you.

Obviously you pre book with a reputable company and don’t just rely on calling an Uber at 3am. But it’s really not something to worry about.

mouseychick · 14/01/2024 13:44

HarrietStyles · 14/01/2024 13:29

WTF what a weird conclusion to come to. Pre children my husband I used to do this every now and then - book a last min city break or spa weekend etc on a Friday whilst at work. I bet 99% of people would see this as spontaneous fun.

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It's terrible. It's "this is what I've decided you're doing with your time"

highlo · 14/01/2024 13:44

ronoi · 14/01/2024 13:40

@HarrietStyles

if your partner now isn’t allowed to book anything fun without asking for your permission beforehand…… then isn’t that you being somewhat controlling?

No, mutual agreement is the norm. It's not controlling to suggest people don't make plans for others to go abroad without asking.

What a stretch

Not much of a surprise if everything in life needs mutual agreement.

I'd agree if one partner booked EVERY holiday and the other never had a say. But they've booked 2 following mutual agreement and this is an extra bonus one as a surprise.

Assuming he'd be happy if OP returned the favour and booked a surprise trip for him at some point in the future then it's not controlling at all

TempleOfBloom · 14/01/2024 13:44

Be on the beach for the afternoon, 2 full days sightseeing / beach, 3 dinners out in the Canary Islands, sounds perfect!

I wouldn’t be worried about the taxi.

Can you go to Leeds as well if you have the week off? Plus weekend either side?

Are you really not tempted by a quick burst of sunshine?

Wheresthefibre · 14/01/2024 13:43

Ilovelurchers · 14/01/2024 13:41

I assume it is an environment concern OP has, as somebody mentioned? I certainly would. It's the reason my family and I either holiday in the UK or take ferries, and though we have not ruled out ever flying anywhere again, we are agreed we would only do so when we intended to stay in that country for a decent time length. It''s certainly not something I would consider for such a short period of time - I just don't think a two and a half day break justifies the impact on the environment. In fact I think it's a little surprising that so many people would do this so readily.

My husband knows I feel strongly about this and shares my views, but even if he didn't I'd expect him to respect them and not book me long flights for short holidays.

Depending on OP's family finances she may well be concerned with the money her partner is splashing around here, especially if it's family money.

Why would you assume that?

Did Op say that? Or mention it at all.

Weird to have environmental concerns and go away twice in one year.

Holidayhell22 · 14/01/2024 13:42

If this was dh he 100% would have sent me a quick message confirming all was ok before he booked.
Otherwise I’m in agreement with the op’s oh.

Bordesleyhills · 14/01/2024 13:42

Lovely , break from the cold

Ilovelurchers · 14/01/2024 13:41

I assume it is an environment concern OP has, as somebody mentioned? I certainly would. It's the reason my family and I either holiday in the UK or take ferries, and though we have not ruled out ever flying anywhere again, we are agreed we would only do so when we intended to stay in that country for a decent time length. It''s certainly not something I would consider for such a short period of time - I just don't think a two and a half day break justifies the impact on the environment. In fact I think it's a little surprising that so many people would do this so readily.

My husband knows I feel strongly about this and shares my views, but even if he didn't I'd expect him to respect them and not book me long flights for short holidays.

Depending on OP's family finances she may well be concerned with the money her partner is splashing around here, especially if it's family money.

Easipeelerie · 14/01/2024 13:41

Why does he make executive decisions without your input? That’s the thing that would bother me.

HundredMilesAnHour · 14/01/2024 13:41

dawngreen · 14/01/2024 13:40

Jet lag?? but then I don't fly often.

There's no time difference so no jet lag. Same as if the OP went to Leeds. 😂

ronoi · 14/01/2024 13:40

@HarrietStyles

if your partner now isn’t allowed to book anything fun without asking for your permission beforehand…… then isn’t that you being somewhat controlling?

No, mutual agreement is the norm. It's not controlling to suggest people don't make plans for others to go abroad without asking.

What a stretch

PeggySooo · 14/01/2024 13:40

Granted I have booked it in advance, but I'm going to Tenerife in April and I have booked a drop & go service at Manchester Airport for £52. They take my car and park it for me for the week, and I go to the terminal by bus.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 14/01/2024 13:40

I'd be pissed off, holidays should be a shared decision.

DH and I decided years ago to only take one (return) flight a year so we have to plan that. I get that's not the case here though.

PerfectTravelTote · 14/01/2024 13:40

I'd annoyed that he just went ahead and booked without checking if you were free and wanted to go. It's not the 1950s. You get a say.

Stackarack · 14/01/2024 13:40

I went to Melbourne for 6 days. Don’t give it a second thought and don’t be ungrateful. Go and have a fabulous time.

dawngreen · 14/01/2024 13:40

Jet lag?? but then I don't fly often.

MorrisZapp · 14/01/2024 13:39

Peppermint81 · 14/01/2024 13:35

I'd love it if my partner did this for me!!

Control issues?!

It's controlling to book travel without consultation. Most people do this kind of thing together, so both parties are on board with the arrangements.