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Original poster

To think this is selfish?

36 replies

Deafdonkey · 13/01/2024 23:38

I appreciate this sounds petty but it is just something in a long line of things.

Adult son bought chips from the chip shop as he was coming home from the pub. He ate about 2/3rds and then asked if we (his parents wanted to finish them)

Said yes and I took one and then offered bag to husband, he proceeded to eat them all, I kept saying please let me have one but he refused and said I wouldn't like them.

I got cross and now he says iabu to be cross. I think it is proof of how selfish he is, he wouldn't even share something that wasn't his in the first place.

OP posts:
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Blomdd · 14/01/2024 09:41

OP would you be open to us helping you unpick the wider picture and advise from there? I suspect you are in an abusive relationship, which can be very confusing. I hope you're OK.

Sparklfairy · 14/01/2024 09:10

MonsteraMama · 14/01/2024 02:07

Whyyyy do people put up with shit like this in a marriage? I know it's only chips but it's just so indicative of his overall view of you.

My husband got chips on his way home from a work night out last night. Sidled in to me when he got home and drunkenly proffered the bag with all the best crispy chips still in it - he'd saved them for me because he knows I love them.

Get you a man who saves you the crispy chips, even though they're his fav too. Begone the porcine man who only lets you have one measly chip and hogs the rest.

I LOVE this.

OP are you saying that you think if you stood up for yourself, it could escalate to violence? Most people would say, 'well so what if he's angry and so what' - but you toe the line because of the atmosphere he would create?

Original poster
Deafdonkey · 14/01/2024 08:48

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 14/01/2024 02:09

I agree that it was rude/thoughtless of your son not to offer to buy more. Your DH was awful.

Whilst is sounds like I'm defending the men in my life, not sons fault. He didn't get in until 11, we would normally be in bed so wouldn't call or even expect us to be up.

You are all right, it is a pattern of behaviour.

He has never hit me but I wouldn't dream of grabbing them back or getting washing up liquid because I think he might. He would certainly get angry cross and storm off.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 14/01/2024 02:09

I agree that it was rude/thoughtless of your son not to offer to buy more. Your DH was awful.

MonsteraMama · 14/01/2024 02:07

Whyyyy do people put up with shit like this in a marriage? I know it's only chips but it's just so indicative of his overall view of you.

My husband got chips on his way home from a work night out last night. Sidled in to me when he got home and drunkenly proffered the bag with all the best crispy chips still in it - he'd saved them for me because he knows I love them.

Get you a man who saves you the crispy chips, even though they're his fav too. Begone the porcine man who only lets you have one measly chip and hogs the rest.

LauderSyme · 14/01/2024 02:05

What a fucking selfish dick.

zusje · 14/01/2024 01:59

Your husband is obviously in the wrong but also I cannot fathom coming back to my parent's home with chips for just me and not checking (while at the chippy) if my parents wanted something tbh! So in my opinion, both men in your life are equally rude!

SleepingBeautySnores · 14/01/2024 01:07

Sorry OP, but if my DH treated me like this I would have gone and got the washing up liquid and squirted it over the whole lot! What an arsehole!

Noseybookworm · 14/01/2024 01:07

He's a greedy selfish git! Get yourself a whole bag of chips tomorrow and make sure you eat them in front of him and don't share!

Angelsrose · 14/01/2024 00:51

Absurd behaviour from your H! Greedy and annoying. You should have gobbled them down quickly! Be selfish in return. No need to put up with nonsense.

Squiggles23 · 14/01/2024 00:30

Get yourself and son a nice takeaway or make a nice dinner or whatever tomorrow and do NOT give him any.

BakedCrud · 14/01/2024 00:28

Wow, that's just plain and simple nasty.

My DH would happily share them with me, and he'd even say "here, have some more, I don't want that many" even if he really wanted the whole bag. He'd give me his last breath if he thought it'd make me happy.

If he sat there hogging the lot, refusing me more than one and using "you won't like them" as a way of keeping me from having any more I'd be getting massive 'ick' and couldn't look at him with any respect.

It's not about chips. It's about that sheer nastiness of it. It's so unattractive and yuck in a person. Especially a person you've married, had children and shared a life with.

Eurgh

Silmar · 14/01/2024 00:27

I kept saying please let me have one
Honestly this sounds like begging, and it makes me a bit sick in my mouth to think you just pathetically begged him instead of snatching them off the greedy twat.

Starseeking · 14/01/2024 00:27

Everything about the way this man is treating you will be awful for your mental health and well-being. Please find the strength to leave him.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 14/01/2024 00:23

' I kept saying please let me have one '

This is not how a grown adult behaves with another grown adult.

' he refused and said I wouldn't like them. '

This is not how a grown adult treats another grown adult !

Did you spit the one and only chip you did get out ?
Did you have to drink gallons of milk coz they were spicy chips ?

No ?

Then who is he to say you won't like them ?!!!

ArnieLinson · 14/01/2024 00:17

I doubt it is just the chips
i agree

Cuckoochanel80 · 14/01/2024 00:16

Not very gentlemanly behaviour. I know you think this sounds petty but when you encounter things like this all day long from your partner it works to devalue you. Know your worth. You need to be having a conversation with him to let him know how he is making you feel. If he doesn't care then you have some thinking to do.

NugsNotDrugs · 14/01/2024 00:15

Actually, sorry to comment again but, dh & I would both give the other the best bit of whatever we’re having. Be it steak, the nicest portion of the take-away or a fried egg!
This is so far from ok. I know that it’s just chips but it must be hurtful. In fact, I doubt it is just the chips xx

NugsNotDrugs · 14/01/2024 00:08

Thats nuts! How terribly selfish. I can’t imagine that happening in my house. Absolutely rubbish behaviour!

Aquamarine1029 · 14/01/2024 00:07

Deafdonkey · 14/01/2024 00:01

If I had MN before we married I would not have married him.

Show quote history

The only thing keeping you there is you.

ohdamnitjanet · 14/01/2024 00:04

Deafdonkey · 14/01/2024 00:01

If I had MN before we married I would not have married him.

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@Deafdonkey it’s not too late to be unmarried…

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/01/2024 00:03

That is why divorce exists

Original poster
Deafdonkey · 14/01/2024 00:01

Aquamarine1029 · 13/01/2024 23:53

Why are you still married to this arsehole?

If I had MN before we married I would not have married him.

OP posts:
Maybe2 · 14/01/2024 00:00

this happened to me

I went to a friend’s wedding recently where there was an extra dessert left at our table. We agreed to pass it around to let everyone try a bit, as it was different to the dessert we were actually served. One of the bride’s friends refused to let me try it - she ate the whole thing when it was passed to her. She knew I wanted to try it as the person next to her tried to pass it to me, but the cake snatcher was just ignoring us whilst loudly proclaiming how good it was and said I’m not having any. It was like she was making a point?

I know it’s not a big deal, but something about it felt icky and controlling - like she was putting me in my place almost. Reading your post just gave me flashbacks of that. Some people just have a weird relationship with food I think.

GrandTheftWalrus · 13/01/2024 23:56

He's a twat.

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