Scared at home

If this helps… I have OCD and I used to be like this when I first started living in my own with my kids. I had to check every single little possible hiding place , but I taught myself that after all the doors and windows were locked and I had checked once I knew it was safe.
j always had an imagined escape route if anything was to happen.
the second house I lived was smaller but noisier
the third one I’m in now is noisier again but I don’t feel any of this anymore.
if it’s OCD you have to accept the uncertainty for you to get better.

Could you get a dog? I feel far safer with a dog in the house. Dogs are a deterrent because they are noisy. Doesn’t even need to be a scary dog!

Please don’t feel stupid. This is a completely common experience shared by many people. There can be lots of reasons why we feel like this, but none of them are stupid and the good news is that once we start to understand them, many of them can be overcome. Good luck

Agreed. I won't have an alarm for this very reason. I have everything else tho....cameras, dog, lockable internal doors etc. Get a door jammer for your room. Even if someone did break in, they physically couldn't get to you with that behind the door.

I recommend the Feeling Good Handbook for dealing with invasive thoughts like this - it's a very practical workbook that helps you work through these sorts of ovewhelming feelings and stop triggering your anxiety - and it's generally quite an interesting read as well about how anxiety takes hold and how we can get over some specific anxieties by reframing them.

It sounds like noisy, stressful neighbours are a trigger for this, but there are ways of thinking your way past the worry. I hope you can find some peace of mind soon.

OCD is anxiety related - it’s a tool some people use to try and reduce their anxiety. Google ocd checking or look at ocd uk website

Hi @RightSaidFredd0 , it sounds like you've got a good few ideas here and I really hope you're able to get a peaceful night's sleep tonight, knowing you have some plans.

In the meantime, I see some people have recommended herbal tea. I just came in here to suggest that you try these Pukka night time teabags. I used to have the most dreadful insomnia (just because I'm old, damn menopause!), then my friend gave me a couple of these to try and honestly they helped enormously even from the very first night. I have one about 15 minutes before I go to bed and I really do have a much more restful sleep.

I developed checking behaviours (and would record myself doing the checks) after experiencing stalking. I self referred to my local mental health support. In my area it’s called iapt and it’s often called the same in other areas so have a google. They screened me and said I met the criteria for ocd. Although I never pursued an official diagnosis the screening meant I qualified for cbt which I completed online with a therapist. Since doing the work with a therapist I very rarely engage in checking behaviours. The only time I do it now is if I’m going on holiday but I give myself a break for that as it’s a rarity. Please seek support. It can get better.

If you can afford private then even better. I did CBT through the NHS and psychotherapy privately. They gave me a few coping mechanisms which helped. I hope you find what helps for you OP.

Get some ear plugs and get some white noise playing...it really will help

Oh I really feel for you. I used to have panic attacks in similar situations. Mine was anxiety, which was linked to childhood trauma.

Things that helped me:

Therapy to help deal with the trauma and learn tools to calm my breathing

Medication, not suitable for everyone but really helped me.

We do now have a ring door bell which is reassuring as I can check if I do hear a noise.

Calm app, playing sleep stories helped me to relax

It's tempting to try and stay awake to the point of exhaustion but actually tired can make the fears and anxiety so much worse.

I also found exercise in the day, yoga before bed and healthy dinner helped me to get to sleep

Glad luck OP 💐

Ring doorbells also have systems that are only triggered if a door is opened. We have one and I find it so reassuring when I’m home alone overnight. They’re pretty easy to fit.

Do you do any exercise?
It's good to move and exercise because stress and anxiety work to get your body to either fight or take flight, in other words, move. It can help you to manage your anxiety better.

I'm sorry to read about your anxiety and it is very understandable. I live in a rural area and hate being alone overnight when my OH is away, but to cope I use a plug in stair light to indicate someone at home and fall asleep to a relaxing audiobook.

Could you put a lock on your bedroom door? That might help you sleep better?

OP, I could have written your post two years ago almost exactly word for word so I can completely understand what you’re going through. During lockdown especially, I used to stay up all night until my fiancé was getting up for work around 4:30am before I tried to quickly get to sleep in bed before he left so I felt ‘safe’ to fall asleep and when that didn’t work I found I could only fall asleep on the couch downstairs in completely silence so that I could be on alert if the door began to open and so on. I’m sorry I don’t have any magical cure but I realise now that it was all anxiety and a manifestation of my poor mental health at the time. I started taking anti-depressants (I realise they aren’t for everyone) and CBT/ therapy would probably have been very beneficial in hindsight.
I just wanted to say that you are definitely not alone and not in any way being silly for your response. I look back now and can hardly believe how I used to be so there is definitely hope that you will get past this! 💐

I'd suggest using a meditation app like Calm which has short stories, music and sounds to help you sleep, also a free meditation app to listen to. They do two things-they block out the creaks and sounds and they help you relax to sleep. But also I agree with everyone else, do see the GP and ask about a referral for OCD, or even medication to help short term. You can't spend every night this worried.

How old are you? I ask because I felt a lot like you in my 20s but the older I got the more it eased off until now I never get worried/scared.

I've worked in various crime related areas for years and honestly burglary is not a particularly common crime anymore and the majority of burglaries happen in the day because someone leaves a window open or a door unlocked. Night time burglaries rarely happen, especially if they have to actually break in. It just isn't worth it these days in the average home. Majority of cases I come across listed as burglary are from business premises.

If you are prone to worry, give yourself a really relaxing evening routine. So no crime dramas or shows on TV. Maybe a relaxing bath or shower if you prefer. A hot chocolate or a herbal tea. Listen to something soothing in bed or read a nice light hearted book.

Just be aware that house alarms can be triggered randomly.
Ours was triggered once by a balloon and we had a time where it kept getting triggered. I went around the sensors after a third time and found a spider and it's web on one. That's what had been triggering it and it is terrifying when it gets triggered at night.