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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Son called me ugly

39 replies

Bigbouncingbaby · 13/01/2024 19:36

Are I right to be feeling totally pissed off. Watching gladiators with my son he asked me if I thought someone was pretty . I said yes . Then he said out loud

Your ugly though . You were when you were younger .

I was like how do you know and he replied ….I’ve seen photos

I feel really hurt . If he said it in anger or an argument it wouldn’t seem so bad 😰😰😰

Is this not strange

OP posts:
Thatswhy11 · 13/01/2024 19:59

Why are posters calling OP out on her Sons lack of manners?? It's obvious he wasn't that young..to have the audacity why he thought OP was ugly when she was younger. Even at 5 kids need to learn not to be unkind to others, there's some things you can't say!

Bigbouncingbaby · 13/01/2024 19:57

Sorry he is 10. We have had alot of issues he hasn’t been the easiest of children . Very disrespectful can get very angry etc

I did tell him that was hurtful but he just says oh I was only joking

OP posts:
Umcanijustsay · 13/01/2024 19:45

We have a blanket rule in our house to never say anything unkind about anyone's appearance, either to them or behind their back. I would use this an an opportunity to teach him that words have meaning and can really hurt.

ghrubnide · 13/01/2024 19:42

YANBU, I'd be hurt if my son said that,

EvilElsa · 13/01/2024 19:42

That's very unkind. Sorry OP. I'd be having a conversation about that, whatever age. The bollocking level would be age dependent, but I wouldn't leave it without saying something.

5128gap · 13/01/2024 19:42

If he's a child he's probably equating 'pretty' with certain attributes, long hair, colourful made up faces, particular body shape and general glamour as per media even that aimed at children. If he's a teen he's being nasty to you as they often are If he's older than that, then I'd be worried (for reasons nothing to do with my appearance).

SummerHouse · 13/01/2024 19:42

If age appropriate I would have a chat with him about hurtful comments. I wouldn't accept my child saying that to another child and I wouldn't accept them saying it to me. Plus what is ugly anyway. Beauty is not necessarily visual or conventional.

Dita73 · 13/01/2024 19:41

Say to him “it’s a shame you think that because you look just like me”

Justcallmebebes · 13/01/2024 19:39

That's not nice and I'm sure you're not. How old is he? I'm sorry though, that must have been very hurtful. Unmumsnetty hugs Flowers

WolfFoxHare · 13/01/2024 19:39

Yeah that’s very hurtful. How old is he? How did you react? I don’t think it does children any harm at all to see their parents have feelings which can be hurt (provided they’re just being thoughtless - if they’re deliberately trying to wound, it’s probably better to seem unbothered).

DrFosterWentToGloucester23 · 13/01/2024 19:39

“And we share 50% of our DNA. Sorry son!”

Shiningout · 13/01/2024 19:38

Id pull my six year old son up for saying something like this, it's hurtful and not okay. How old is he?

KissMyArt · 13/01/2024 19:38

You've forgotten his age here, which will obviously be relevant.

mumsytoon · 13/01/2024 19:37

How old is he?