Would you ever leave a 15 yo home overnight?

I don't mean to pick on you but this feels like the "fertility declines hugely at 35" type statement. Like your body knows that you're now exactly 35, fertility messed.

Surely it's the same with teenagers - they don't magically become ready the day they turn 16. There's fluidity based on individual children, situations etc?

If something did happen, you’d never forgive yourself, and imagine the conversation you might be having with e.g. a police officer. Nearly 16 is like nearly 18, but you still couldn’t vote because lines have to be drawn somewhere. Maybe say no this time, but offer to plan for another time where this might happen (maybe a one night event when she’s 16) so she knows you trust her but that there’s plenty of time to start fledging.
Full disclosure, I was 15, had a couple of very nice, well brought-up GF over one night while my folks were out. An incense stick caught fire from a candle and flames happened very quickly. We managed to put it out but it was a terrifying experience.

I was left home alone with my sister when we were 15 and 13. That was the first time I went clubbing 🙄 and the first time my sister smoked weed 🤔 Maybe not such a great idea.

We were allegedly good kids too who went to grammar school (me) and private school (her). The opportunity arose and we took it 🤷‍♀️

When did teenagers become such babies? In the 70s 15 was the school leaving age. The majority of the population was out working by then & most left home at 16/17 to live in a bedsit.

I wouldn't generally but I think given her dad is round the corner, it's fine.

I would get him to pop round and to do it without much advance warning to ward off the party possibilities

@enchantedsquirrelwood does this mean that you wouldn't leave a 15 year old at home alone ever? A water leak could happen at 10am on a Sunday or 1pm on a Tuesday.

I really wouldn't make my parenting decisions on the very low chance of a ceiling caving in, I don't think I know anyone that has happened to.

I'm waiting till mine is 16. But tbh. He'd probably be fine.

You know your child best.

And I lost mine at a party in the woods when all our parents thought we sleeping over at other peoples houses- teen sex and drinking is going to happen regardless! You didn’t lose your virginity purely because you had an empty house!

No. I was in a student flat and the same in the states. Not everyone lives in halls.

host family? It was a university exchange!

No way too much responsibility for a 15 yo, just in case something went wrong.

Do you not leave your teen alone ever then? I burst pipe or caved in ceiling is just as likely at 10 in the morning as it is at midnight.
burglaries at more common during the daytime when people are out at work (but a teen may be home alone)
you teen is more likely to get run over by a car than have to deal with a caved in ceiling - do you not let them go anywhere alone/.walk to school?

No way
It also says on the NSPCC website you can't leave a child under sixteen alone at night.
What happens if there was a fire or something 100% no
She either stays with her dad or comes with you.
That would be her only choices if she were mine

DO you regret it? Because it sounds like you had a great time and knew what you were doing.

Trying to stop 15 year olds from having sex is pretty pointless, whether they're left at home alone or not, so I don't think that's relevant.

It's entirely child dependent and it sounds like she'd be completely fine, with lots of support nearby. This will probably be Ds in a couple of years. He's very independent and robust and capable.

How many times has “the ceiling fallen in” 🙄. I’m nearly 50 this has never happened to me or anyone else I have ever known

If we'd not been home when the water leak happened (in the loft) yes, the ceiling would have fallen in. And usually we wouldn't have been - we'd have both been in work and ds would have been at sixth form college, but we happened to be at home. Imagine hours and hours of the water leaking out.

Since that happened, I've actually heard of a few people with water leaks - one person had one the day she went into hospital to have her son, but fortunately her parents live locally and went in to mop up and sort out a plumber.

There's another thread on MN tonight about someone with water leaks as well.

They're by no means as rare as you think.

And near where I live someone had a house fire caused by an electrical fault. Her 16 year old was asleep at the time and was saved by the smoke alarm. So check the smoke alarms too!

It's one night though, I wouldn't leave a 15 yo with no family near by at all, it's literally no different than you going out for the evening as a water leak could happen then. My 15 yo brother burnt some chicken nuggets when my mum was at work once as she talked him through putting the fire in the oven out. As long as someone you/they trust is nearby then its surely fine.

I am the worlds biggest worrier but for some reason I am happy with my kids being at home alone, DS 17 out driving with his mates not so much!

Really?

I recently had to go away overnight for work. It was a Saturday evening, DH came with and we left the 16 and 15 year old to be looked after by the dog.

Guess what happened? Absolutely nothing. They cooked pizza, gamed and even washed up after themselves!

It 100% depends on the child

I would, especially given there are close relatives living nearby. All the water leak, fire disasters could just as easily happen when you leave them for a couple of hours.

I had a full on house at 17. I certainly needed to know how to repressive my boiler and where the stop cock was and how to cook food without burning down the house 😂

I think your dd is very capable of being alone, especially with her dad close by etc. But, I would be worried about her inviting mates round and it getting out of hand. I was a good kid and loved my parents, but when I was 15 I wasn't past raiding the drinks cabinet at friends houses if it was available and topping it up with water... or being alone with boys. So I would be wary that some less than perfect behaviour might happen, even if your daughter is generally very trustworthy. Maybe get her dad to pop over a couple of times in the evening to check on her.... or say she has to be at least 16 and delay the problem..

Several people literally said that

If they were happy to be alone then of course yes. I don't see a problem with it.

Until we had a water leak it hadn't even occurred to me that one would happen. I had thought of other things, like lightning strikes, trees falling on the car in high winds, candles toppling over etc, but not a water leak (it wasn't winter and there weren't frozen pipes etc).

I really don't think it's that unusual not to have thought of every single thing that could go wrong in a house, and I am the sort of person who does plan ahead and think of things that could go wrong.

And if a child does live alone at 16 they are usually in a flat with other people, and the maintenance is outsourced. It's not their problem if something goes wrong, like if it happens at a university hall of residence.

How many times has “the ceiling fallen in” 🙄. I’m nearly 50 this has never happened to me or anyone else I have ever known.

If this did happen presumably the 15 year old would have the basic common sense to vacate the house and go to the nice neighbour / friend round the corner / ring us. I would be quite disappointed if my nearly 16 year old was so useless she needed the constant presence of mummy at all times.

It's fine. If your dd is responsible enough and family are round the corner then that's fine.

I wouldn’t.