Page 4 | Would you ever leave a 15 yo home overnight?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 2024-01-12T12:12:53+00:00

I’m going away with my 10yo in the summer for a weekend. 15 yo doesn’t want to come (was offered, and originally booked to come). She can stay with her dad who lives around the corner or is more than capable of getting to grandparents for the weekend. Shes suggested she’d like to stay home alone. Will be 16 a couple of months later, when I suspect I’d be unreasonable not to leave her. Extremely sensible and no chance shed trash the place. Why does she want to stay alone? Sometimes finds Dad annoying, plus he has a baby and toddler, and just staying at home is easier than any other options. She likes alone time. I guess she might invite over a couple of equally sensible friends which would be fine. Any thoughts?

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 13/01/2024 14:30

I would leave her at 15, she will be fine and if she needs anything her Dad lives around the corner.

Honeychickpea · 13/01/2024 14:15

rookiemere · 13/01/2024 13:54

Of course they don't become fireproof when 16, but to me a consideration is how would this play out in the press if something happened.
A 16 year old being left overnight alone, just feels a lot more appropriate than a 15 year old.

We had actually planned a weeks holiday when DS was 16.5 to Madeira ( he is an only and would have been bored rigid). But we ended up cancelling it when he and his 25 year old cousin managed to set fire to the oven cooking a steak that summer when we were on a big family holiday.

We did a week away once he turned 17 and the only issue that time was he seemed not to have heated up any of the many meals we left for him and seemed a bit hungry when we arrived back - probably worried about setting fire to the cooker, even though it was all microwaveable.

Seriously? You would make this decision based on how it would play out in the press rather than on an assessment of your childs individual capabilities?

rookiemere · 13/01/2024 13:54

Of course they don't become fireproof when 16, but to me a consideration is how would this play out in the press if something happened.
A 16 year old being left overnight alone, just feels a lot more appropriate than a 15 year old.

We had actually planned a weeks holiday when DS was 16.5 to Madeira ( he is an only and would have been bored rigid). But we ended up cancelling it when he and his 25 year old cousin managed to set fire to the oven cooking a steak that summer when we were on a big family holiday.

We did a week away once he turned 17 and the only issue that time was he seemed not to have heated up any of the many meals we left for him and seemed a bit hungry when we arrived back - probably worried about setting fire to the cooker, even though it was all microwaveable.

HRTQueen · 13/01/2024 13:44

No

Oblomov23 · 13/01/2024 13:44

Not that I have, but ds2 would be fine, would even like it. Ds1 was even more responsible. All this: would invite 100 friends round for party, doesn't know how to use kitchen appliances, can't lock up. Why on earth have parents allowed 15 year olds to get to 15 and not know how. All 15 year olds here locally do cooking at school, can make spag Bol, all the 15 year old girls I know bake regularly, often weekly. So most of you have different children to the 15 year olds I know.

AFreshStart24 · 13/01/2024 13:40

I probably wouldn't overnight. I'm a bit of a worrier though. Only you know your kid.

Honeychickpea · 13/01/2024 13:37

Housebuyer37 · 13/01/2024 12:51

I know, it's a good job they become fireproof when they turn 16 isn't it.

Show quote history

Surely at that age you would have years of family training for how to react to a fire. If a 15 yr old doesn't know, serious family training meetings are in order.

RuthW · 13/01/2024 13:07

No definitely not.

Housebuyer37 · 13/01/2024 12:51

Copperoliverbear · 12/01/2024 17:21

No way
It also says on the NSPCC website you can't leave a child under sixteen alone at night.
What happens if there was a fire or something 100% no
She either stays with her dad or comes with you.
That would be her only choices if she were mine

I know, it's a good job they become fireproof when they turn 16 isn't it.

Housebuyer37 · 13/01/2024 12:49

15 and her Dad lives around the corner? Why wouldn't you? Did somebody here say they didn't leave their kid until 17?! Jesus.

Mine are a bit younger than 15 but just thinking back to when I was 15 and I definitely had the odd night alone.

I went on my first girls holiday abroad at 17!

catelynjane · 13/01/2024 12:45

Copperoliverbear · 12/01/2024 17:21

No way
It also says on the NSPCC website you can't leave a child under sixteen alone at night.
What happens if there was a fire or something 100% no
She either stays with her dad or comes with you.
That would be her only choices if she were mine

NSPCC is guidance only and has nothing to do with the law.

x2boys · 13/01/2024 12:25

Copperoliverbear · 12/01/2024 17:21

No way
It also says on the NSPCC website you can't leave a child under sixteen alone at night.
What happens if there was a fire or something 100% no
She either stays with her dad or comes with you.
That would be her only choices if she were mine

There could just as easily be a fire if oh left a 16 /17 ear old one alone
And its NSPCC,guidance not law.

Orangello · 13/01/2024 09:34

By the time you've called your mum and asked what to do, the ceiling would have come in.

Not sure I'd use this as a reason not to leave the 15yo home. Yes there might be a delay while they figure out what to do. But if you take them with you instead and there is a water leak in the house so there's nobody there, ceiling will definitely come down.

Original poster

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/01/2024 00:20

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/01/2024 17:59

Does she have a boyfriend

No she is gay

OP posts:

fleurneige · 12/01/2024 21:17

Depends on the 15 year old.

TheaBrandt · 12/01/2024 21:15

In some ways it was better. Means teens have to socialise in unregulated places though many don’t bother and stay on line. The whole “parents away party” is very gen x. Anecdotally not heard of any gen z having parties when parents away and I know lots of families with teens.

IncompleteSenten · 12/01/2024 21:15

Copperoliverbear · 12/01/2024 17:21

No way
It also says on the NSPCC website you can't leave a child under sixteen alone at night.
What happens if there was a fire or something 100% no
She either stays with her dad or comes with you.
That would be her only choices if she were mine

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/in-the-home/home-alone/

Where? I read this through but didn't spot it.

IncompleteSenten · 12/01/2024 21:12

Yes, times have certainly changed. When I was a teen, pubs would happily serve you as long as you didn't get pissed and cause trouble.
I had my 18th birthday party in a place I'd been drinking in for 3 years.
I'm not saying it was better of course! Just that it was a different time.

OhmygodDont · 12/01/2024 18:22

All our local clubs shut down apart from ones attached to actual pubs but they are still aimed above 25 year olds, music themes. hell even one bowling alley closed down because the younger ones are not out their boozing like we did and the booze sales where propping up the ally. No nappy nights or anything here now.

TheaBrandt · 12/01/2024 18:13

Good luck trying to go clubbing at 15 these days they are super strict on id. No proper id no entry. My summer born 17 year old struggling as pals turn 18 and unless she borrows valid Id from similar looking girl she ain’t getting in!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/01/2024 17:59

Does she have a boyfriend

Original poster

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 12/01/2024 17:56

Thank you all for your answers. They’ve all been really interesting.

Im not nearer a decision as a result of this post, but it’s been great to read all the points of view.

Dad being round the corner is something but he’s a bit lazy so not sure if he would necessarily pop round to check. He might but he’d probably want her to stay with him so might not want to assist in it not happening.

Grandparents are a train ride away but one that she’s quite capable of if she preferred to go there (which she sometimes likes doing on her own so as to get a visit without her brother!)

OP posts:

Bumply · 12/01/2024 17:55

I left ds2 home alone for a weekend at that age.

He had neighbours in the stairwell he could contact in emergency and his Dad an hour away.

He just played computer games the whole time, and the only trauma was when his gerbils got loose I texted him some suggestions on how to get them back and that worked eventually.

TomeTome · 12/01/2024 17:53

I would

RowanMayfair · 12/01/2024 17:51

Copperoliverbear · 12/01/2024 17:21

No way
It also says on the NSPCC website you can't leave a child under sixteen alone at night.
What happens if there was a fire or something 100% no
She either stays with her dad or comes with you.
That would be her only choices if she were mine

Can't? According to who?