Would you ever leave a 15 yo home overnight?

@Samlewis96 Yes, at 23, I was living in a different country to my parents. My Mum was the same, she took a job in North America at 23. We sort of had to be fully adult. 😂

Honestly, don’t we want this generation to grow up? My DD’s in her first year at uni and is very independent. We’re here if she needs us, but surely functioning as an independent adult is what we want?!

Yes, I left my daughter alone the first time a month or so ago, she was just shy of her 16th birthday. I know 100% she would never have a party, she’s very introverted and spent the entire time studying for her GCSE’s. She cooks her own food anyway and I talked her through any emergencies with smoke alarms etc.

So you are obviously an adult with home job and family but if you are under 25 the you are still not fully grown lol

It’s not against the law in the uk which is where I assume the OP is from.

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It’s against the law until they are 16 where u live

And yet I was a fully qualified mental health nurse at 22.

Yet many 25 year olds are married with homes and kids of their own

@Legendairy Being emotionally close to your parents as an adult isn’t immature, it’s lovely. But yes, both DH and I were brought up not to discuss our relationships and finances with our families as adults
(I’d say past mid-20’s). No one does among the siblings and they’re all financially stable and in LTR relationships.

I expect other families do otherwise and perhaps we’ll be different as parents, although I’m always wary about getting too involved. My teenagers tell me pretty much everything right now though. 🤷

@HamBone I really hope my kids feel comfortable enough to come to me whenever they need me. I would never want them to worry about burdening me. I am close to my parents so I guess it's different, they are like very close friends now, we spend loads of time together, holiday together and my DS even works with my dad in a business they set up together. We talk about everything with them. The point you were trying to make is that it's immature, when it's absolutely not.

I got left at 15 for a weekend and I was very sensible. BUT I did get carried away, threw a massive party, house got trashed and I ended up grounded for a month 😅

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G2UVsyVLLcE

just saying.

No I haven't.

But I'm 41 years old and have never encountered a burst pipe in my life - have just asked my mum who's visiting and she hasn't either, so that wouldn't be a contingency I was terribly worried about. If water started dripping through the ceiling if I didn't have a kid at 15 with the nous to go and check the taps in the bathroom first and turn them off I'd be concerned.

A true emergency, mine would call 999. Wouldn't yours?

@catelynjane As I said upthread, different people do things differently.

All I’m saying is that at some point, it’s nice if adult children stop thinking of their parents as just “their parents” and start thinking of them as people with their own needs. I wouldn’t ask a parent in their 70’s or 80’s for anything, tbh.

What makes you think I don't?

My parents aren't in their 70's or their 80's btw.

@catelynjane All I’m saying is that at some point, it’s nice if adult children stop thinking of their parents as just “their parents” and start thinking of them as people with their own needs. I wouldn’t ask a parent in their 70’s or 80’s for anything, tbh.

I do feel rather strongly about this as I know a few people IRL who ask a lot of their parents in their late 70’s/80’s, regardless of health problems, etc. and it makes me angry.

Anyway, this is off-topic! Back to 15-year-olds left alone overnight-as I said upthread, my DS (15) is still too daft, but he might be mature enough later this year.

Depends on how trustworthy and sensible they are I suppose. I have a 16 year old son and a 17 year old daughter. We’ve left them many times and would leave them separately too. There is zero possibility of them having anyone over without permission. One they aren’t that brave and two we have cameras everywhere.

I lived on my own from 16, shopped, paid bills and everything that living in your own entailed.

That's a hell of a lot of assumptions you've made from one single post.

Yes, I ask my parents for advice sometimes, but that doesn't mean I "burden them" with all my "stress and worries". I actually find it quite sad that you think parenting ends when your children are grown. I'm very glad my parents don't feel the way you do, tbh.

I also support and help them when they need it. It's not all one way.

@catelynjane You don’t think that parents of adult children should be given a break from our stress and worries? I do, they’ve done enough parenting, they don’t have to help me anymore!

Although I’m sure that your parents will always help and advise you, you might want to consider whether it’s fair to burden them. I try to think about the effect it’ll have on my elderly Dad-if something might worry him, I don’t tell him. 🤷

That's your prerogative - but that doesn't mean those who do get help from their parents are immature or "babied".

I also suspect my parents would feel incredibly patronised if they found out anyone was trying to protect them, lol.

Yes that's understandable, but asking for advice from anyone does not make someone immature or babied. That is the point we were making. If I didn't want to worry my parents about something i may speak to DH or a friend for advice. You can't possibly go through life without ever asking for help from anyone surely?

@Legendairy @catelynjane Different people do things different ways. I’m nearly 50 and haven’t turned to parents for help/advice on anything for an extremely long time. I suppose I feel protective towards them, I don’t want to worry them.

I'm 35 and DH is 40 - we both still go to our parents for advice! It's not a sign of immaturity to speak to someone experienced (who you trust) when you're worried or need some support.

Yes they are, I don't see how asking for help and advice means you are immature/babied, surely people do this throughout their lives, or once you reach 26 do you know everything and don't need to talk about relationship/work/financial crisis etc? How odd.

On this thread I have stated that u25s are babied also, I haven't changed my feelings so not sure what you are referring to really?

I am mid 40s and would still go to my parents/family for advice or help.

@Legendairy On the other thread you talked about under-25’s nowadays being babied!