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AIBU?

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Re this math teacher's response

169 replies

Diorama1 · 12/01/2024 10:13

I am contemplating emailing the teacher to discuss his response to an issue with my son.
My DS is 14 and is in 2nd year (in Ireland and its the year before your GSCE year). He is very bright and very good at maths. He is doing higher level maths.

He is not a math genius or gifted but he does find it all very easy, he grasps the concepts quickly and has an excellent understanding.
His average in his maths tests this year is 98% and the things he got wrong were only simple errors from rushing eg saying 21 divided by 3 was 3 instead of 7.

We had his parent teacher meetings this week. I dont think what they are like in the UK but here we go around the PE hall and sit for 5 mins with some 10/11 teachers while parents stand behind in a queue waiting their turn. There is little time to discuss and almost no privacy.

I went to his math teacher and he said he was working very well, excellent scores and advised he should keep up studying as things will get harder. I told him that he loves maths but is finding the pace too slow, that he never opens a book at home and wont study for any tests as he knows how to do it. I asked for ways to bring back his interest and to encourage him back into maths. I said I try to get him to study and practice the questions at home but he hates going over what he already knows.

The teacher got very defensive and said the exams were all about rewarding those who study and not those who were good at maths, he said he has to practice the sample questions. He said he has taught many children 10 times better at maths than my son and that if he kept up refusing to revise he would do badly in his exams. He said if he gave my son the same test now as he sat in Sept he was sure my son would do badly in it as he would have forgotten the concepts.

I was a bit taken a back and didnt really respond at the time.

On reflection thought I am very disappointed with his attitude. I was seeking ways to encourage my son back into a love of maths and all he did was advise he repeat work he already knows which I told him is what is killing his enjoyment in the first place. He acted like I was saying my son was a math prodigy and he wanted to put me in my place by saying he has taught much brighter children than him.

DS was doing this level of maths work 3 years ago on his own.

AIBU to expect a better response from an educator and to email him about it?

DS came home yesterday and asked did I say anything to the teacher about him as in class the teacher said that some kids are not putting the work in at home and if that continues they will be moved from the higher level class. DS said the teacher was glaring at him while he said this!

Also if there are any maths teacher on here that have any advice on what DS can do, I would be very grateful.

OP posts:
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EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2024 21:17

Numberfish · 13/01/2024 21:15

I’m surprised at the volume of teachers on here being defensive and absolutely ignorant to the suggestion you’re trying to make. Any half decent teacher would see your comments as a parent skilfully recognising that their child could do vastly better and retain a love for a subject given a little encouragement, and he’s responded by threatening your child and defensively framing your input as criticism. Very poor teaching and character indeed. You could try talking to the head but given the maths teacher’s weak response, you run the risk of offending the faculty and them outrageously responding by doubling down on what you’ve identified as the problem. Maybe find extra resources yourself as per many of the good links people have given you here. If you’re feeling righteous, try OFSTED.

OP is in Ireland. No OFSTED.

Numberfish · 13/01/2024 21:15

I’m surprised at the volume of teachers on here being defensive and absolutely ignorant to the suggestion you’re trying to make. Any half decent teacher would see your comments as a parent skilfully recognising that their child could do vastly better and retain a love for a subject given a little encouragement, and he’s responded by threatening your child and defensively framing your input as criticism. Very poor teaching and character indeed. You could try talking to the head but given the maths teacher’s weak response, you run the risk of offending the faculty and them outrageously responding by doubling down on what you’ve identified as the problem. Maybe find extra resources yourself as per many of the good links people have given you here. If you’re feeling righteous, try OFSTED.

Bythefireside · 13/01/2024 21:00

Teachers aren’t there to create a love of learning they’re there to get kids through exams. They may want to help children love their subject but the sad truth is they system makes that virtually impossible.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 13/01/2024 20:52

He might find Applied Maths interesting enough to study, so he ploughs through the usual things at school and then has something to get his teeth into at home.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2024 20:47

I just wanted extension work suggestions

That's the key - that's not the teacher's job. He is working hard to get his students through the JC. It's not up to him to provide extension work.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2024 20:46

@Diorama1

There's a lot of helpful replies here OP, but most relate to the UK system. It's really different in Ireland.

I'm in Ireland, 3 DC, 1 5th year, 1 2nd year (and a younger DC). I work in a teaching role at a university.

The revised JC curriculum is problematic. The assessment is superficial, yet still dealing with key concepts. The marking is a mess, meaning it's really hard to do very well (Distinctions & Higher Merits) and the majority of grades are Merits - which is a very broad range from 55 - 74 %.

It's so completely different in 5th year, it's hard to comprehend.

If your son is interested in exploring maths beyond JC curriculum, that's up to him & you (I see CTYI has already been mentioned). You picked a really bad time to raise this with the teacher. P/T meetings are exhausting, 5 mins per student only.

Because the papers for the JC are so limited (short, to the point answers), accuracy & attention to detail are essential, if he is to do well.

Like other posters have said, you've conflated the issues.

By all means explore his interest in Maths & develop his skill set further but see that separately to his school work.

Bellyblueboy · 13/01/2024 20:31

OP is this the right school for your child?

Pliudev · 13/01/2024 20:07

Just what Soontobesixty said. My* *DS found maths easy until he stepped up to A level and it wasn't. Because he had never had to try, it came as a bit of a shock to find he needed to work. In my experience, it's not the students who find it easy but the ones who are prepared to make the effort who get the best results. My friend's DS thought he was too clever to try and he now drives a delivery van. Nothing wrong with that but he had a lot of potential to do more at one time. Letting your DS think he knows better than his teacher will not do him any favours.

unsureMom123 · 13/01/2024 19:58

PJHashem · 12/01/2024 11:19

From a teacher perspective, at times I sympathize with a few kids who are bright/quick to pick up new concepts and ready to move on. The reality is that I have 2 students who understand, 20 students who have almost grasped the concept but need consolidation and 6 students that are really struggling. Even with the best will in the world, I cannot truly teach in a way that suits every individual student at every moment.
I also cannot always extend students in a meaningful way as in order to extend someone or teach them a harder concept, it requires 1:1 or 1:2 and time that I don’t have when I’m trying to help the rest of the class understand the content being assessed.

I’m sure I will get posters reply about how I need to do this or that, or how it’s easy to differentiate or spend time individually with each student. However, I am not just teaching. I’m managing the diabetic student whose alarm is beeping indicating low levels. I’m dealing with the student with such special needs that they are not toilet trained, intellectually impaired to the point they can’t read, count to ten or write their own name at 13, I’m dealing with the 2 autistic students, 1 dyslexic, 2 ADHD and then add in about 4 with behavioural issues and/or mental health issues. I’m dealing with a crying student in the middle of class who had sent naked images to her boyfriend only for it to be passed on and seen by the year level. I’m dealing with a student who is angry cause there was a family violence incident over the weekend and now there’s a restraining order protecting him from his father.

What I’m trying to say is: your child is doing well, understands the concepts and could improve by taking more time/care with his work. I don’t really think there was anything wrong with what the teacher said or what more he could offer your son in the limited class time he has when his focus is shared between all students and his goal is for all students to understand the concept that will be tested.

I applaud you for caring and for trying to extend your child. However, the reality of classroom teaching these days is that extension beyond class material usually happens outside of class, such as at maths club, tutorials, etc.

I love this reply. Absolutely true.

CantFindMyMarbles · 13/01/2024 19:40

if he said it like that then the manner is rude. But..:there is nothing wrong with the essence of what he said. He’s not wrong. You’ve got rose tinted glasses on.

WhatNoUsername · 13/01/2024 19:04

I disagree with the posters here. If your DS is finding the work too easy then get should be being given extension work. The OP shouldn't nee to get a tutor! That's what happened in all my DS's higher maths classes. It ensures the brightest children remain engaged. It doesn't mean they shouldn't revise but revision is inherently boring. If you make the whole subject boring then they won't be able/wont want to engage with revision.

Having said that I do disagree with the teacher re their sheets being a need for revision. I found maths v v easy and did no revision and got top grade in GCSE. If you know it, you know it. As a pp has said he'd be better spending his time on subjects that he isn't naturally good at.

If he's rushing and making mistakes, continually going over stuff he knows won't help him, focussing on exam technique will: eg read the question properly, check your work, go back over your answers if you have time at the end etc etc. Also if he wasn't so bored, he'd probably take his time more!!

jrc1071 · 13/01/2024 18:47

I’m sorry, but did the whole purpose of an exam change over the past couple of generations? It’s not about a reward for studying… It’s about measuring competency. And if someone can do it easily without studying, so be it.

Goes to show you the public schools are only about teaching to perform on an exam and nothing else.

Bellyblueboy · 13/01/2024 18:31

I had a teacher a bit like that when I was at school - very defensive, kept asking me if I was boring him and ask my parents to tell me not to ask so many questions!

I told him the class was moving too slowly for me and he then told everyone in the class that I thought I was cleverer than him! It was awful and as an adult I can now see what was going on.

I went on to do a degree, masters and phd in this subject. I have looked back over my A Level notes and realise he got some things wrong and I now see he wasn’t confident teaching the subject.

while Teachers will always defend fellow teachers on here - but remember there are good and bad teachers - like in any profession. This guy doesn’t sound like he has great interpersonal skills and may be struggling to manage his class and impress his bosses.

I agree this teacher handled the situation poorly - but your son does need to study.

Morgysmum · 13/01/2024 18:23

They are pushing him at all? My son was doing higher maths. (at college now) but his teacher knew he was good so, they pushed him.
Sadly he hated some parts, trigonometry and some other bits that put him off maths. Sadly he dropped maths at A level because of that. Which is a shame, because it comes really easy to him. But he got good grades.

Stupidliefromfriend · 13/01/2024 17:52

Hi,

Irish maths teacher here. I understand your sentiments completely but think you got the teacher's back up and the conversation went awry when you told him it was too slow for your child. Don't email the teacher please, just drop it.

I don't know where you're based but check locally for maths workshops; possibly in the colleges. He needs to be doing the past exam papers not the book questions. What text book does he have? Texts and tests have advanced revision questions and they all have extra resources online. Corbett Maths, TY Peters Problems, www.khanacademy.org, project maths.ie student section, ixl.com, folens beehive section are good places to start.

Get him excited about the Young Scientist maths entry and check them out.

Good luck.

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MrsPetty · 13/01/2024 17:35

I deregistered both my DDs from school in Ireland for similar reasons. We’re home schooling - self study really - IGCSE’s. They were losing all interest in learning due to being bored and the ‘one size fits all’ attitude. It’s been a year now and the difference is off the scale! They’re both so engaged, interested and happy. I think it may be an uphill struggle for you with the teachers OP.

Socketsplugs · 13/01/2024 17:21

Do you mean sit in with the older students?

DeniseSecunda · 13/01/2024 16:11

If this class is so easy for your son, shouldn't he be moved up to a higher level class in which he's actually being challenged?? What's the point of keeping him in a class that's not teaching him anything because he knows it all already? He could go much further if he skipped ahead, no?

Hankunamatata · 12/01/2024 23:14

Get him a maths tutor who can do extension work and practise his revision technique.

Justonemorecoffeeplease · 12/01/2024 23:08

Ilovelurchers · 12/01/2024 19:51

I am sorry you had that experience with the teacher - perhaps he took what you were saying the wrong way - teachers are only human just like the rest of us - but I can see why you didn't feel great about the encounter.

Regarding your son, I honestly believe you will help him if you point out that being bored is not the worst thing that can happen to somebody. I would imagine that the majority of adults are sometimes bored by things they have to do in their job, and by things that they have to do in their family or personal life.

I overall love my job, but there are parts of it I find boring. I find housework boring. I even found elements of child rearing boring, when my daughter was very young. I find my caring responsibilities boring sometimes. I doubt I am unusual in this.

It's an important life skill to be able to find stuff boring but still do it well. You will help your child if you encourage him in this. Yes some bright children get bored in lessons - but that does not actually make it ok for them to stop trying, behave badly, etc etc. Just like it's not ok for kids to behave badly if they find the work difficult.

A teacher's role is to safeguard and to teach certain skills, knowledge and encourage certain traits. It's NOT to be an entertainer. Hopefully elements of school will be fun, but it's not its main purpose.

My daughter's lucky enough to be really bright. Sometimes she finds her lessons easy and boring. I tell her to suck it up - she still needs to be polite to the teacher and work hard. self discipline like that is hard to learn but also SO valuable for future happiness. If she wants to pursue a subject in more depth, I'll buy her books/help her find resources on the internet. Time in lessons is a tiny proportion of her life to be honest. Even if she doesn't enjoy it all that much, it won't do her any harm.

I hope you get what I am saying OP. I don't mean it judgementally at all - I can strongly see that you passionately want the best for your son and are desperate to advocate for him. But if you encourage him to think everything in life needs to be fun and stimulating, I do think you might ultimately set him up for disappointment.

This should be shouted from the rooftops! Wonderful post.

NoMoreLifts · 12/01/2024 21:42

@tiggergoesbounce you said "He does rush through everything and makes simple mistakes because he finds it easy but he isn't the type of child to believe he is better than everyone he is very matter of fact that he knows it, understands it and struggles to see the benefit in going over it and over it again. I am tying to teach him that but it isnt easy."
You must teach him this. Making simple mistakes means that it's not too easy. This is true for doing exams in general. But for maths in particular, drilling to develop fluidity in different skills so that they can they be chained together and considered as parts of solving a more complex problem is skill building. Surely he can look up fun maths with you and learn not to make simple mistakes and double chec schoolwork. And be glad that with a bit of effort he can do brilliantly.

justteanbiscuits · 12/01/2024 20:11

wowsers6 · 12/01/2024 17:07

This is the British school system all over (which is the only one I know, so maybe it's a problem in lots of school systems).

Some brighter kids leave primary school smart and full of knowledge. Maybe it's luck, maybe it's a combination of the teaching, genetics and home environment, who knows.

But then they go to secondary school and languish in years of wasted time "learning things" they find very easy and could have learned in the first term of the year instead of taking a whole year to do it.

Potential wasted as teacher has to teach to the middle. Lots of children who would have been able to work 1,2 or 3 years above their level languish in classes that challenge them very little and everyone leaves at 16 with GCSEs when several could easily have gotten excellent GCSE grades at 13, 14 or 15, had they been taught the material in a way that allowed for that and didn't let them coast.

It's such a waste of talent but that's the limitation of the system and the funds.

Get him some A level text books and a tutor who will start teaching him the A level course material - especially the stuff that is a direct follow on from the GCSE stuff. Mastery of the next level, if you get a tutor and ask them to pick and choose the right parts of the A level syllabus (because he doesn't have all the time in the world before his GCSE) it will improve his ability at GCSE and give him something to work for.

What happens at 16 when they've done their GCSE's and A levels then? I know 3 people who went to University at 16, and all 3 are damaged by the experience

Ilovelurchers · 12/01/2024 19:51

I am sorry you had that experience with the teacher - perhaps he took what you were saying the wrong way - teachers are only human just like the rest of us - but I can see why you didn't feel great about the encounter.

Regarding your son, I honestly believe you will help him if you point out that being bored is not the worst thing that can happen to somebody. I would imagine that the majority of adults are sometimes bored by things they have to do in their job, and by things that they have to do in their family or personal life.

I overall love my job, but there are parts of it I find boring. I find housework boring. I even found elements of child rearing boring, when my daughter was very young. I find my caring responsibilities boring sometimes. I doubt I am unusual in this.

It's an important life skill to be able to find stuff boring but still do it well. You will help your child if you encourage him in this. Yes some bright children get bored in lessons - but that does not actually make it ok for them to stop trying, behave badly, etc etc. Just like it's not ok for kids to behave badly if they find the work difficult.

A teacher's role is to safeguard and to teach certain skills, knowledge and encourage certain traits. It's NOT to be an entertainer. Hopefully elements of school will be fun, but it's not its main purpose.

My daughter's lucky enough to be really bright. Sometimes she finds her lessons easy and boring. I tell her to suck it up - she still needs to be polite to the teacher and work hard. self discipline like that is hard to learn but also SO valuable for future happiness. If she wants to pursue a subject in more depth, I'll buy her books/help her find resources on the internet. Time in lessons is a tiny proportion of her life to be honest. Even if she doesn't enjoy it all that much, it won't do her any harm.

I hope you get what I am saying OP. I don't mean it judgementally at all - I can strongly see that you passionately want the best for your son and are desperate to advocate for him. But if you encourage him to think everything in life needs to be fun and stimulating, I do think you might ultimately set him up for disappointment.

Socketsplugs · 12/01/2024 17:22

OP's talking about the Irish system, not the British system @wowsers6, so maybe it is a general problem.

wowsers6 · 12/01/2024 17:07

This is the British school system all over (which is the only one I know, so maybe it's a problem in lots of school systems).

Some brighter kids leave primary school smart and full of knowledge. Maybe it's luck, maybe it's a combination of the teaching, genetics and home environment, who knows.

But then they go to secondary school and languish in years of wasted time "learning things" they find very easy and could have learned in the first term of the year instead of taking a whole year to do it.

Potential wasted as teacher has to teach to the middle. Lots of children who would have been able to work 1,2 or 3 years above their level languish in classes that challenge them very little and everyone leaves at 16 with GCSEs when several could easily have gotten excellent GCSE grades at 13, 14 or 15, had they been taught the material in a way that allowed for that and didn't let them coast.

It's such a waste of talent but that's the limitation of the system and the funds.

Get him some A level text books and a tutor who will start teaching him the A level course material - especially the stuff that is a direct follow on from the GCSE stuff. Mastery of the next level, if you get a tutor and ask them to pick and choose the right parts of the A level syllabus (because he doesn't have all the time in the world before his GCSE) it will improve his ability at GCSE and give him something to work for.

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