Child maintenance reduction

If that´s all you took away from my comment...

He is making choices that benefit you / his new family but will be detrimental to the two children he already has. That may be right legally but it´s really shitty morally (and isn´t what I would expect from a decent parent).

Actions have consequences. And it seems incredibly convenient to put the negative consequences on the two children from his previous relationship whilst you and your shared child get to reap the benefits...

Well, your DH is reducing his hours AND taking a lower paid role. The reduction of hours will mean that he can spend more time with your (shared) child and will save you (some) childcare fees.

It will therefore benefit the "new" child and your family.

His two already existing children however will receive less (maintenance) and will not get to spend more time with their father (that is NOT their fault but due to your DH and his ex-wife having an apparently extremely toxic relationship).

It will therefore be detrimental to the two children from his previous relationship.

He is making choices that benefit you / his new family but will be detrimental to the two children he already has. That may be right legally but it´s really shitty morally (and isn´t what I would expect from a decent parent).

I agree with that previous comment:
But what I'd do here is continue to pay what you were paying even though he's reduced his hours because he's reduced them to facilitate you working and reduce childcare costs and that's not his previous children's problem and I don't believe new children should reduce the lifestyle of previous ones...
And if he (or you) can´t afford that, he probably should reconsider the salary reduction.

Is he going/trying to do more to care for his other children on his non working day ... Ok for you to subsidise his time to look after your dc but really unfair on his existing children to reduce his pathetic cms contribution to their lives...and does contribute to the narrative of him caring more about new child.. than existing children. .

Try thinking about this from the view of the children... They dont care that you have a higher salary than their dad... They see he is working less but not seeing them more....and is contributing less .
At the least you both should not have made them worse off..

Can dh look to increase his contact time now he is working less

The OP said would it be unreasonable to reduce it to the suggested level? That to me says it is a choice.

We don't know whether the mother has alternative childcare and how close the parents live to each other.

If they live 2.5 hours away from other then the kids seeing their dad more will tire them out. There as if they live 45 minutes away then the mother is being unreasonable.

That isn't possible though.

Even if he didn't reduce his hours his CM would be reduced because he's had another child.

Take your money out of it completely. Your responsibility is towards your own child, not your stepchildren.

Shame that the mother could see this as an opportunity for him to have his older children more, so she can work on improving her own income.

I'm not hell bent on making him look evil, I think he should continue to contribute to his DC at the same rate as prior to making the decision to have more DC.

Exactly. The new wife who sees her husband’s children as a “former life”.

When did his living children become history OP? Your husband’s former life was the time he spent with his ex wife before the kids were born. Now they’re born, they are his current life.

And also

I do think though that their mother should be doing more so that they know their daddy loves them

This is their father's responsibility, to show that he loves them. What is he doing to show them this? Why do you feel its her responsibility?

Does he live a long way from the kids?

As every separated parent I know and have met who lives nearby actually sees their kids more than that including if it is Court Ordered.

We buy them things outside of the contributions that they need for school and things like that

We buy all their stuff for both home and our house

"things" or "all their stuff"?

If you already buy "all their stuff", how do you see those material things increasing?

Unfortunately some people view paying child maintenance as paying for the children's mother.

This is where the talk of putting the money in a saving account for the children sometimes comes from. That way they know the children only will have the money.

You mean higher earners have big houses and fancy cars? Supporting all of his children should be his priority over taking on massive bills. Surely he knew his outgoings before reducing his hours?

Do you think mediation would help? Mediation which is very much focused on what is best for the DC and where all the adults concede that their behaviour in the past could have been better.

@Rainbowqueeen mediation is supposed to be like that but I've not found any separated parents who have ended up with a Court Order capable of mediating until around 4-5 years after they have both stuck to the Court Order.

The SC's mother isn't sticking to the Court Order so mediation would be a waste of time in this case.

Former life?

Says it all.

I could maintenance and money to children not the parents that made this sitting thr first place you were aware of the situation when you met and still chose to have a child so you are taking money away from them

Your posts give the impression that your DH was not a great dad when he and his ex were together. So there is baggage there that is being carried forward.

My view is that decisions need to be made on the basis that your DH has 3 children who deserve a happy life. Do you think mediation would help? Mediation which is very much focused on what is best for the DC and where all the adults concede that their behaviour in the past could have been better.

If not, then I would keep payments the same and go back to court to address contact. I would never link the 2 and I would also never, given your DHs poor parenting in the past, think that buying the things they need rather than handing over money. That will just infuriate his ex and rightly so. It’s controlling and also annoying to have a dad who had no interest in buying stuff for his kids when he and the ex were together because he was too busy with his hobbies suddenly deciding that he is interested enough to do the shopping. It’s way more important that DH shows he is wanting to spend time with his kids than spend the time shopping.