Child maintenance reduction

Sure, he has to balance the needs of three. He’s clearly willing to have his older children more, which would ease the financial burden on his ex. Unfortunately she doesn’t want that.

OP has one child, and she’s going to prioritise that child and what works best for her family.

Unfortunately you chose to involve yourself in a situation with immature parents who are unable to put the needs of their children first. Reducing maintenence will add flames to that fire.

This. I'm appalled you're considering this. Cut your hours, fine; but cut your cloth accordingly too. His older children need their maintenance. His cut in hours benefits your family, the money for that needs to come from your family unit too to balance this, so his other babies don't suffer. (But that court order needs enforcing too, as a separate but pressing issue.)

As a household you can afford that, your DH can't.

You are so right, OP doesn't need to justify herself to anyone and her priority is her own family.

And same for her DH, his priority is his own family which happens to include 2 more children.

Then he doesn't get to drop his hours. Lots of parents want to drop hours to spend more time with their children but they can't afford to so they don't.

You just want people to agree with you. You do sound pretty smug about being married and waiting to have your child unlike the reprobate ex. Your DH was part of that relationship

You don’t have the explain or justify yourself to anyone, OP. Your priority is your own child and immediate family unit.

Can you answer this one OP? Would you be fine with it?

If you want to punish his kids because you're ultimately punishing the mother then crack on. If I was your DH I'd fight until I had no breath left to see my kids, not sit at home and accept it and reduce their support. Buy hey we are all different.

“We’re talking about reducing CMS in-line with what it should be because we see the children bare minimum despite our attempts for more”

I think that “because” is very telling. Your decision is partially to punish the mother financially for her (admittedly bad) behaviour. His other children will suffer as a result.

I re-iterate what I said before. You have taken a decision on his hours and pay to benefit your family unit, at the detriment to his other children. Such a decision should have considered all of his children and I have no respect for men who don’t take their responsibilities seriously. You may legally be entitled to reduce CMS payments because of your family decision, but your and his conduct is immoral.

Those poor, poor children, stuck in the middle of this and about to suffer even more.

You're not listening to what countless posters are telling you.

His older children should not lose out financially because it suits your family for him to work less.

It's morally indefensible. Its really shitty.

It's not his kids fault, he shouldn't be reducing days and reducing their support.

Then he doesn't drop his hours.

Loads of parents would like to reduce their hours but can't afford to because they have kids to support. His older kids shouldn't lose out because he wants to work less. That is throwing them under a bus.

Honestly just put yourself on the other side of this, him telling you he's dropping days to spend time with his new child (not yours) so he's reducing your money. Then you'll know what the right thing is to do.

And you´re making sure that your child will reap the benefits...

And your DSC the negative consequences.

If I'm honest, I would absolutely reduce the money and leverage that for time. As in, every time she complained or mentioned the money he could say, "I can't afford to pay more, but I'm happy to have them more if you are struggling." And then rinse and repeat, offering overnights and time on his day at home.

Children aren't pay-per-view, but it's also unreasonable to refuse to let them see their parent without a good reason

He already has commitments, he shouldn't just get to drop his hours to favour one child. If your child went to nursery for that one day he still gets to work full time to share his earnings between ALL of his children.

She’s his ex girlfriend. Not wife. There is a legal distinction yes, but in terms of their relationship they were serious enough to have 2 children together, so why does it matter?

I dont think your DH is is a lowlife, but it sounds like he was a pretty shit Dad when they were together and no better now. Step families often get unfair judgements made of them on here, but it really does look like he's got his new family and his 'former' one doesn't matter anymore. That's what his DC will see and believe and it will damage them, maybe for life. I couldn't respect a parent that could let that happen to their children.

Which is nice for your child but his older children shouldn't miss out because of your choices that benefit your family.

Maintenance should be paid at the same level. You can't say you feel sorry for your DSC but choose a course if action that is detrimental to them.