Husband & lapdance

Society is programmed to blame women for everything,

If he was a decent man and if he was having problems with his sex life, he would discuss it with his wife not pay for a bloody lap dance.

I can't believe someone is blaming his wife for this. What next it's ok for him to have an affair?

Well done on valuing yourself OP, it would be a deal breaker for me. Grubby, evasive and rather pathetic.

Don't you DARE try to bring OP sex life into this!! There is NO excuse for this behaviour, it's ALL on him!

Isn't that the whole point of AIBU?

I'd think he was a pathetic excuse of a man.

Talk about making a drama out of a crisis.

Men like this are one level above brothel crawlers/punters.

And you do wonder of they might go in that direction too. Since they feel entitled to buy sexual titillation and sexual services. Like a burger on a drunken night out.

what is your sex life like at home?

Are you saying that if op is not fully satisfied with her sex life at home - as many people aren't (let's face it, maintaining the early months passion and excitement and novelty is pretty much impossible, and real life and being real human beings also impacts) ...... That op has the right to go and grind on the crotch of naked male strippers? Without previously discussing with her partner.

Is that what you're saying .... Or is it only men who.arent getting it enough at home, or for whom it's not exciting enough at home ..that get to go behind their partner's back into sex industry dives and have women get naked, and grind on them, at £50 a pop?

If op wanted parity, not that she'll ever get it, because he's chosen to do this, not her; she should get a male stripper or two to a private party with her mates, and see how he likes that.

I found a male lap dancing club and had private and group dances from male strippers (place now closed) when similar (not as bad - apparently) was done to me. It's amazing how that focuses their tiny minds on why it's not kosher.

But you'll not get true party - because they "introduced" this to your relationship and life first.

You absolutely don't have to ask.

Men who think they can buy women's consent, men who pay for strippers are gross and sleazy and exploitative and pathetic. Whatever the state of their sex life.

Right, that'll solve the betrayal of sexual intimacy and exclusivity, and loss of trust.

And deceit; cause op found out, he didn't fess up.

Maybe not everybody has a transactional, psychopathically detached approach to relationships.

sex workers need to be tested regularly and would never go unprotected so 'cleaner' than randoms

For the sake of accuracy - one small look at UK punting shows sex workers sometimes go unprotected for piv sex and almost always do oral sex unprotected.

It also shows that punters get irritated by waiting around for their punt, because the punter in front of them is still with the prostitute ..... What std checking are they doing in the few min rushed turnaround between punters? They wouldn't even have symptoms .... It's clear it's back to back with punters sometimes.
There are also stds that condoms don't prevent fully.

So let's stop with these myths about STDs.

In saying all of the above - it's not the strippers or prostitutes who are the skanks.

This is bollocks.

JFC!

ODFOD! It's not anti-man to have fucking standards in a relationship! Just because you've got absolutely no self-respect doesn't mean other women should let themselves be doormats.

So he's not getting enough and he needs to get lapdances?

This!

Sad man with brain in his dick. Go and buy yourself an expensive pair of shoes or whatever you fancy. If he can waste money then so can you.

It doesn’t really matter what any of us say does it? If it’s a deal breaker for you then you split up.

I would go completely off him so the relationship would be over.

@peakygold to call women 'skanky' is grim language.
If anything, sex workers need to be tested regularly and would never go unprotected so 'cleaner' than randoms. The women in the club have done nothing wrong, they are doing their jobs.
If he is sleeping with them ( for me, dealbreaker) or even just getting dances and you don't want him to then either he stops or get out of there 'cos he doesn't care about your needs, but don't blame the women in the club.
He sounds selfish.

The men who do this are the ones who are skanky.

If you are going to stay with him, he needs to get tested for STDs. Those women are skanky AF.

@Catza

why would you post such nonsense?

of course you can get a lap dance, and much much more in the U.K.

@Thatwagon

does it make any difference to you how far it went?

if it does you could ring the place & find out what you get for £59 and if they're both for the same person. I'd be more concerned if they were. If it doesn't matter to YOU, then all you can do is decide how YOU feel & if you want to stay with him or not.

It may have been used in GoT, but it’s been common parlance in the US for hundreds of years.

Yes, that's true - it goes back to Victorian times, right?. I was really only posting about it to highlight that its use has more to do with a lot of people watching GoT than anything else.