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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Etiquette advice

37 replies

Mctm · 10/01/2024 11:05

Went out last night for DH birthday. We went to a sushi restaurant in a very middle class town, lots of old money. We ordered LOTS of sushi and weren’t able to eat it all. There was a decent bit left over so asked to take it home with us which they kindly packed up for us with no issues.
As we were walking out I heard a family gasp on a table near the exit, exclaiming ‘they are taking it away!’ (Meaning me & DH as I saw her glance at the box I was carrying). They all gave each other embarrassed looks to each other and then stared at us in a judgemental way making me feel really uncomfortable.

Was I unreasonable for asking for a take away for our leftovers? I understand in Japanese culture it may be considered rude but only the cuisine was Japanese, I could see the chefs in the kitchen and all waiters and they were all white British.
I feel I was met with extreme snobbery from that family and it really upset me or maybe it was a big faux pas from us?

I know it’s not that big of a deal and there are far more important things going on in the world but I’m curious on others perspectives please.

OP posts:
jusanotherperson · 10/01/2024 11:42

I recently had to travel abroad (2 hours on a plane away) for a day for work. We were treated to lunch and flew home after.

I couldn't finish it all and brought it home (on the plane) 😂

SparkyBlue · 10/01/2024 11:41

Honestly OP they were weird and rude. You did a perfectly normal thing. We were out not long before Christmas and the DC had a huge pizza that they couldn't finish. We brought it home and enjoyed it later

Okitten · 10/01/2024 11:36

Rnaom · 10/01/2024 11:08

YABU to even ask this. It really is such a none issue. They could have been agog at the fact you managed to not wolf up every morsel of such delicious food and had the self-restraint to have some left over to take away!

Do you often get upset by the perceived judgments of others? It reallllllly isn't something to get worked up over. Even if they were judging you for taking food you've paid for away, who cares? Says much more about them than it does you.

The OP asked a question and you spent your whole reply being judgy and trying to shame them for literally no reason at all! Why be like that? Why try and turn this into “oh do often have a problem with things like this?” Oh that’s. So weird! Why? That’s really quite a sinister reply you gave for no reason. Mumsnet wouldn’t exist if people didn’t ask questions. Why try and make someone feel that way for asking something. It’s like a sport on here but the only person who looks bad is the person who’s trying so hard to be mean for no reason.

StBrides · 10/01/2024 11:30

Oh come on, I think the op is capable of telling what they were shocked about.

The fact that they were though isn't an issue. The op did nothing wrong and the snobs at rhe other table were very ill mannered & could do with a few etiquette lessons themselves.

Psychoticbreak · 10/01/2024 11:26

For what its worth I would take home leftovers of sushi because its bloody expensive.

Psychoticbreak · 10/01/2024 11:26

If they were Japanese it could be because you cannot take home leftovers there due to fears of food poisoning etc even at home. If they werent then they just are rude.

Rescue2024 · 10/01/2024 11:16

It wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. Grown teens take all leftovers away to have for their lunch the next day and when we have Turkish they do order an extra dish to have for lunches during the week.
I’ve paid for it so I’ll do what I like with it. That said, if it was just DH and I we would just order what we can eat and leave the rest behind so maybe it is a generational thing.
I wouldn’t give a strangers view on it a second thought though.

EBearhug · 10/01/2024 11:16

I've been in more than one restaurant where we've asked for things to be packed up. I don't know if others comment, but tough if they do.

DuploTrain · 10/01/2024 11:12

Maybe they hasn’t realised that it was an option to take sushi home and were astounded in a good way and will order extra next time?

Or they might be the kind of bizarre people that ask on mn if it’s safe to eat refrigerated rice the next day as they’re sure it means instant death.

TempleOfBloom · 10/01/2024 11:11

It’s a relatively new thing but I think:
In this era of food waste concern why would you want to leave it for the bin?
It is a compliment to the chefs that you want to take it
It’s yours, you have paid for it
Others will have done the same thing
Not the business of other rude diners!

Enjoy your sushi!

JimBeamCoke · 10/01/2024 11:10

Maybe they were unaware you could ask for a doggy bag and wish they knew this in the past or maybe they misunderstood and thought you were getting a collection order to takeaway and never knew they did this. If they were just being snobby then the issue is with them. Millions of people take the leftovers home. Go to any posh afternoon tea and it would not be looked at twice. It’s part of some cultures also like if you watch a Gordon Ramsay show set in the USA

Rnaom · 10/01/2024 11:08

YABU to even ask this. It really is such a none issue. They could have been agog at the fact you managed to not wolf up every morsel of such delicious food and had the self-restraint to have some left over to take away!

Do you often get upset by the perceived judgments of others? It reallllllly isn't something to get worked up over. Even if they were judging you for taking food you've paid for away, who cares? Says much more about them than it does you.

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