No time for personal grooming

This ^ is what most people do.
It’s like anything else in life.
Put it in your diary or on the family wall chart “ME TIME” and use it like any other commitment.

Keep your body clean and odour free.
Keep your clothes clean and odour free.
Moisturise morning & evening.
Some of us use scented body moisturiser too.
Keep your nails trimmed and scrubbed.
Put on some lipstick before you leave the house.
Brush your hair.
It’s a start ! Job done!

What matters is what you are happy with. Other people's opinions are irrelevant.

But if you want to do a little self pampering, you can do the absolute minimum very quickly. A daily moisturiser with SPF takes about 30 seconds and will protect your skin long term. Keep nail clippers in your bag so if you snag a nail, you can tidy it up immediately.
And maybe allocate an hour to yourself at the weekend, while your dh holds the fort, to do whatever is most important to you.

I'm a single mum and work full time. I limit it to moisturiser, a little eye make up and blow dry my hair daily (5 minutes), and a basic self manicure, pedicure, shaving legs & pits, and tidying up eyebrows at the weekend (30 minutes).

People make time for what they want to, so if you were really inclined you'd find the time. Why are you 'dedicated' to your kids until 9pm though? Unless they're super young they can look after and entertain themselves for some of the evening, and weekends.

I’ve got the time but not the inclination. I do moisturise and that only takes a few seconds. I don’t think I look terrible but I don’t look ‘groomed’ and I’m ok with that. No-one has ever commented negatively on my appearance. I think most people are just too busy getting on with their lives to comment on someone else’s facial hair/hairstyle/whatever.

If you are relatively pale and have dark hair, you can invest in a Philips Lumea- takes 20 minutes once every 2 weeks once it starts working and then once a month for upkeep. Best thing I ever bought - pricey but worth it.

Nobody should be commenting on your appearance op, that's just plain rude.
If you are happy as you ignore them but if you would like to be more groomed it doesn't have to take long.
Moisturising and a bit of mascara/lipstick take no time.
You could get your hair shaped into a low maintenance style that could still look nice daily.
Obviously you wear clothes, if you want to look better don't wear shapeless baggy clothes, wearing nice clothes takes exactly the same time to put on so that shouldn't be anymore time consuming.
Nails don't have to be gel polished to look nice, clean, short and shaped nails look nice and groomed.
But only do these things if you want to feel better about yourself, not to stop others commending about your appearance

I'm the same, same with the body hair too. I don't have an answer to that, the facial waxing is getting me down. I dread it!
I don't get anything done beauty wise and have little time for it all, but I do use toner and moisturise every day. It only takes 30 seconds for toner and 30 seconds to moisturise. Just start with that, you'll feel much better and it's the only thing that will have any lasting benefit, looks wise.

Clothes take the same amount of time to put on, whether they are shapeless joggers or smart casuals. Find a few things can pull on that are more fitted and you will automatically look more polished. M&S have some heavier jersey trousers which look smarter than joggers but feel the same. Similar with tops - a nice jumper or top can do wonders. Waxing - forget that and look at lasering if the hair bothers you. Make- up - you can get lash and brow tints, but I see a lot more people with no make up on these days and they look fine. Nails - short and shaped always looks classy. I keep nail files and nail strengthener in my car - it only takes a few minutes to dry so if I paint them in my drive, they are done when I get to the shops. I also keep tweezers in my car for stray hairs. Although you have to be careful where you do that!

As for moisturizer - c;mon now! It takes a minute. Keep it by your toothbrush and do it when you brush your teeth.

Gel nails take an hour and last five weeks, plus you don't have to think about managing them yourself. May be worth giving it a go once and seeing if you like them or not, if you think you might like the pampering aspect. If nothing else it might be nice to talk to some other women for an hour instead of rushing around after the kids?!

If you wanted to you would. It's fine that you don't want to.

I just had a bath and used a face mask, and then moisturized and used my massage mat.

I'm a single mom and my ds has complex sn's.

When I can do things like this it feels good. I also love fashion so I dress well. I don't wear makeup all the time but I wear sunscreen and lipgloss with SPF.

Sometimes I get my nails done, I love pedicures.

The important thing is how you feel about it all.

I will often put on a face mask and make dinner. Or use whitening strips while cleaning the bathrooms. I think it's more habitual than making the time.

You said it yourself - you are not actually bothered about this stuff. If you really wanted to make time for it, you would. Skincare, for example, takes only takes about five minutes morning and night and you don’t have to spend a lot of money on it either. If you wanted to bother with it, you could. But you certainly don’t have to.

Basically, some other people have been rude to you, and now you’re feeling like you have to make excuses for not bothering much with your appearance. You don’t have to make excuses. Just tell them you’re perfectly happy as you are and suggest they learn some manners.

If it’s any consolation, I’ve had snide comments before from certain other women about the fact that I do spend time/money on personal grooming, so it’s no guarantee of approval anyway! I actually only spend a moderate amount on it, but I have still occasionally been sneered at for it by the sort of women who think you’re some kind of frivolous anti-feminist fool unless you cut your own hair with garden shears and wash your face with Swarfega or something.

Firstly it's rude as fuck for people to be making rude comments about your clothes or facial hair. Who does that? ALL women have facial and bodily hair. Do not pay heed to people who are that shallow.
You sound really busy and your husband is alright with it so chill out on that front. I have mad pubes, lol (they are ott no mistake) but I can't control them 24/7 and waxing is agonising and expensive. What do people expect you to look like, day to day? You should dress for comfort most of the time. (if you like to)
I'd imagine you need a break and a nice night out. Maybe take time for yourself for the afternoon in a nice relaxing bath, and then wear something you like, that's a bit different from day to day. Go have a meal/ drinks with mates or DH alone if you can.
You need to care about your inner self, not a few bodily hairs that everyone gets. x

You should definitely do what you’re comfortable with and not worry about other people. I’m not crazy with “grooming” but wash face/moisturize/get haircuts etc regularly. Don’t bother with nails because I swim a lot and the polish just comes off. It sounds like you just have a lot going on, I don’t work outside of working hours 6:30-3pm for me. My child goes to sleep at 7:15 (5yo). We do one class in the week, one at the weekend because we don’t like over scheduling. Do you have to work so much?

While I agree with others that you don't need to concern yourself with others' opinions, it really doesn't take more than a few minutes to put yourself together. I read once that "there are no unattractive women, just lazy ones" and as un-feminist as it is, I took it to heart. Im naturally very plain but with literally 5 minutes spent on makeup I look and feel like a different person. Maybe you'll feel better in yourself if you make time for that.

I couldn’t care less about grooming but I’m really not buying that you literally don’t have time to put moisturiser on if you actually want to. It takes less than thirty seconds! I can do my own nails in under ten minutes. And it takes about as long to put on “Mum clothes”, whatever they are, as it does any other clothes.

If you’re not bothered then just admit you’re not bothered and tell the people making snide remarks to mind their own business. But don’t martyr yourself and claim having a job and some children means you can’t shave your legs and put some moisturiser on!

I’m not voting as it’s up to you what you do or don’t do. I found laser (including face) to be the best solution for me. The initial time and money cost is relatively high but more than pays for itself long term ( lasered about 12 yrs ago and have had may be 3-4 touch ups since which if I didn’t have wouldn’t be noticeable anyway). Re- skincare I apply before bed- takes less than 2 mins and same in the morning (say after brushing teeth). So once I was in a routine was pretty easy. Nails- I wish I could do them more often, but life often gets in the way

I'd say I'm not groomed but not not groomed either. I'm strongest with skincare but it's a simple routine so doesn't take time. I wear my hair up almost daily as I don't have time to straighten in a morning but I've become quite good at making nice hairstyles and it suits me up so looks tidy. I don't always wear makeup- about 3 days a week I wear basic makeup (no foundation).
I started doing my own gel nails late last year regularly but use subtle natural finishes so they look new take a tidy and grow well.
I do go to the hairdressers for colour and cut every 7 weeks where I normally take half a day annual leave at work. Then wash my hair 2 times a week in an evening.

So not loads of grooming but just enough to feel half decent.

I'm the least groomed person around... not interested in manicures or makeup.
But it takes literally 2 mins to shave legs and armpits in the shower while myhair conditioner is on, then slap on moisuriser..another 60 seconds?
Same for facial hair.. stick hair remover on while you have a bath, or while working in the evening... multi task it :)
I also get my clothes out (nothing trendy but practical and acceptable) the night before so I can just get up and go in the morning.
As long as you are clean, and your clothes are clean, anything else is extra !

Who is making the snide comments? Colleagues, friends, family?

I suppose the first thing is, do you WANT to be a little more groomed? It takes a few seconds to slap on some moisturiser in the morning, after you've done your teeth. If facial hair bothers you, either get some of that Veet hair removal cream, or get one if those spring things that epilate your face. I am very conscious of my 'tache, because i have very thick dark hair thats very noticeable. Thick dark hair is fine when its on your head, but less so on the top lip. Set aside fifteen minutes once a week, and youll feel better for it. Grooming is like exercise - if you want to do it, you'll find the time in our day.

It doesn't sound healthy to be so engrossed in your school-age children that you don't even have time to file your nails or swipe on some lippy.

It doesn’t need to take that long - I book my nails and a waxing appointment (I alternate bikini and underarm) at the same place and it’s an hour and 15 minutes every 3 weeks. I shave my legs in the shower and it takes minutes - if it matters to you, it should be possible to find the time.

It comes down to: you have to make the time.

I don’t do any personal grooming other than shaving the exposed parts before I take my kids swimming every month or so, I do make time for exercise (around 7 hours a week) so I guess I’ve got different priorities. General hygiene is adhered to so I’m basically clean just terrible (brushed)hair, workout clothes as standard and no make up or nails.

You are working 9 or 10 hours a day, that seems an awful lot, have you got a very demanding job or are you kind of overdoing it on the hours? I'd be looking at that first. Plus 4-9pm is a long time with the kids full on, can your husband take his share? It seems you are both earning the money and doing all the childcare, if that's the case it's no wonder personal grooming is going out the window as you must be knackered. I'd start looking at that rather than me giving you grooming tips, because I think it's because you are exhausted that you don't feel motivated to put a bit of moisturiser on, you probably do have time but are too tired.

Where is your DH during all this time you spend sorting out the kids?

I don't do a great deal but I manage to chuck on some mascara and blusher before the school run, take my makeup off and moisturise at night, ten mins of yoga. That's, what, 30 mins max?!