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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend asking for constant favours!

34 replies

TZCFE · 07/01/2024 21:04

My friend keeps asking for never ending favours at least once a week. Tonight it’s asking to borrow a small amount of money. I sometimes say no and sometimes I say yes but AIBU to be irritated every time she (or any friend, not that I have many) asks me a favour? I get a bout of anxiety every time I see her name pop up on my Lock Screen and think “Fuck off”. Are friends supposed to help each other out? Am I the bitch for thinking “Fuck off” when she asks? Or is she she being a leech? It’s driving me mad how these favours are never ending. It’s coming to the point I’m considering cutting her off.

OP posts:
BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2024 21:05

Other than money, what else does she ask for?

You need to say no every time, consistently. She’ll give up.

SkaneTos · 07/01/2024 21:06

Is she only contacting you when she needs a favour?
Does she ever help you with things?

Universalsnail · 07/01/2024 21:08

Depends on whether she is in touch with you other then asking for favours, if she's a good friend, what exactly the favours and whether she will do favors for you

Therealjudgejudy · 07/01/2024 21:12

Keep saying no.

Original poster
TZCFE · 07/01/2024 21:12

@everyone She asks for lifts out of my way regularly and money. She does contact me when she sends me memes and occasional meet ups.

OP posts:
AllEars112232 · 07/01/2024 21:28

TZCFE · 07/01/2024 21:12

@everyone She asks for lifts out of my way regularly and money. She does contact me when she sends me memes and occasional meet ups.

I’d be annoyed too if someone asked me for lifts and money. Memes and the occasional meet-up do not make a friend. I’d stop doing the favours if I was you.

SkaneTos · 07/01/2024 21:35

It does sound annoying.

I think one needs to look at the friendship as a whole.
How long have you been friends - Do you have fun together - Is she a good friend to you, etc.

If you get anxious when you see her name on the screen, that is not a good sign.

Do you think she will still want to be your friend if you stop lending her money?

StripeyDeckchair · 07/01/2024 21:37

She doesn't sound like a friend, she sounds like a user.

Why not try ignoring all contact requesting "favours" and only respond to suggestions to meet up/ do something?
You'll soon find out if she's a CF or a friend

jelly79 · 07/01/2024 21:46

No the frequency would annoy me too.

mottytotty · 07/01/2024 21:50

TZCFE · 07/01/2024 21:12

@everyone She asks for lifts out of my way regularly and money. She does contact me when she sends me memes and occasional meet ups.

She sounds unbearable.

Say no to all favours, I bet she will disappear.

Beautiful3 · 07/01/2024 21:52

I wouldn't give anyone a lift out of the way, unless it was an emergency. Could you say, sorry, not enough petrol in the car to go there, the tank's got to last me all week. The money thing, I'd honestly keep saying, no from now on. Sorry I don't have any spare money, things are tight right now. If you keep saying no, she will.stop.asking you.

Tinkerbyebye · 07/01/2024 21:53

Just say no each and every time she will soon stop

Guavafish1 · 07/01/2024 21:56

You need to just say no.

Then she will stop asking you.

ManateeFair · 07/01/2024 21:59

I get a bout of anxiety every time I see her name pop up on my Lock Screen

Not really healthy to be ‘friends’ with someone who makes you feel like that.

HighQueenOfTheFarRealm · 07/01/2024 22:00

Start saying no. Use an excuse if it's easier - headache, tired, skint after Christmas.

Cherrysoup · 07/01/2024 22:00

I’d ignore all requests or send the same response ‘No, sorry, can’t’ every single time.

Hankunamatata · 07/01/2024 22:09

No
On repeat

itsgoingtobeabumpyride · 07/01/2024 22:20

Definitely start saying no.
Money - sorry I'm a bit short this week.
Lifts - sorry just had a glass of wine or sorry I'm a bit short of money / petrol this week.
She'll soon disappear

Indiseven · 07/01/2024 22:25

It will be tough saying no to start with, but then you will start to feel so much better
once you re back in control of the situation. Feeling stressed when you see her name pop up is unsustainable and unhealthy. Be strong and good luck!

underneaththeash · 07/01/2024 22:25

I’ve never had a friend ask for money or for a lift for herself.

Mountainpika · 07/01/2024 22:25

Never say, "Sorry I can't." Just say, "I can't." Never say sorry.

FannyFarts · 07/01/2024 22:27

What favours?

BeckyBloomwood3 · 07/01/2024 22:31

YABU to be annoyed. Just say no.

OwlWeiwei · 07/01/2024 22:32

She's not a friend. She's a user. Friends enhance your life. A text from a friend makes you think, 'Oh good,' because it should increase your happiness.

honeylulu · 07/01/2024 22:32

Hmmm. When she asks to "borrow" money does she actually mean " take"? i.e. she never pays you back. And the lifts ... does she never reciprocate or offer petrol money? If so she's a scrounger and you'd be better off telling her to fuck off for real.

If she does pay/repay them she's just badly organised and that's irritating but not dumpworthy. Just say no and tell her she needs to budget/manage better without bail outs from you.