I’m drowning

Step away from shame, guilt, embarrassment.

You're not well. You're ill and you need support.

Be open and honest with your mum and your adult child/ren.

Explain how unwell you are and make it clear you need their help.

Would your ex really be a problem? Could you be open there about your situation?

Phone the doctor tomorrow - you may be able to get a medication review.

Start with self care.

You're worth it.

A quick shower, hair wash, deodorant and lipstick.

Comfy clothes you can move in.

Collect up the rubbish and empty the bins.

Get your DC to make sure children's beds are made.

That'll do for today.

Tomorrow - shower etc as today.

Doctor appointment.

Squirt Mr muscle etc round the bathroom and change the towels

Next day - shower etc

Chuck any out of date food and squirt clean the kitchen surfaces.

Get the adult DC to do a food shop.

Next day - shower etc

Vacuum sitting room, tidy cushions and put things away.

One thing a day, keeping up your self care so you feel nice.

Wow that's amazing! Well done !

What a good son you have as well .

I'm so glad to hear your update ,what a lovely son you have , keep going ,having a cosy clean home will make you feel so much better.

With reference to the rent situation - I wonder if your anxiety is rising loads because you are just waiting for a knock at the door, for your LL to contact you...I've lived like that and it's awful. When I used to struggle with the rent, I would pay whatever I could and then I'd write my LL a postal letter explaining the situation. I found a letter better than an email, because I wasn't scared to open my emails after it was sent. He was always ok with me as long as I let him know. I do think it would take a weight off your mind if you spoke to your LL - it certainly can't do any harm.

@DancingDolly

Your post has practical advice, thankyou for your positivity.

Aaaaw, bless you, sending you a big hug.
Look what you have achieved today, and you have clearly raised a wonderful son. Try and focus on the positives, get fresh air, keep hydrated and eat healthy.

I’m so pleased you’re feeling better. I don’t wish to teach my grandmother how to suck eggs but here goes. Your moving about released your endorphins ( feel good hormone)
If you’re interested here’s an article explaining it.
Btw, your medication needs upping.https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/exercise

Definitely get appointment to see GP . You have done really well today. Am glad 20 year old has been helpful.
Please call your Mum . She will be worrying about you . Sending hugs💐

That sounds like a lovely little treat. And in life, treats are hugely important

Sending a massive virtual hug. And I'm chunky, so I give THE best hugs

You poor love, please get back to see your GP as soon as possible. Please remember that depression and anxiety is an illness and nothing to be ashamed of. I expect your mum is worried about you and wants to help so don't keep her away. You've done so well making a start on clearing the mess, be kind to yourself. Get the kids to bed early and have a nice soak in the bath and try and have a relaxing evening x

What is reason for the rent arrears ? Any kind of of financial probs or housing worries can seriously affect your mental health.

I just wanted to reach out in support and say that I know how you feel and you are not alone in feeling this way.
One thing at a time is how I cope - small steps.

You have to sort your rent arrears out and come into a payment plan. What’s the value of the arrears?

Is it a private landlord.

Well done luv 💐

I'm a LL. Trust me your LL will have noticed. They were probably being nice because lots of people fall behind in December due to Xmas. I'd just contact them to say you've been unwell but are trying to sort your finances out and will catch up the shortfall a bit each month. That's what I suggested to a tenant who fell behind. I told them just add £25 each month to your rent and catch the month shortfall up over time.

A good list, just add 'feed the kids' too. It's good your 20 year old is showing support too. Ask your Mum to help you too. She will be worrying about you not visiting since Xmas day. Could she come and help you do some laundry or go for a short walk with you. Fresh air is so beneficial to well being.

Ring your Mum up and tell her you are feeling depressed. Can she offer any immediate support to you? Have a shower as an earlier poster said. Get dressed. Look for some food in your fridge, cupboards. Feed your DC. Make an appointment to go back to your GP. Tell the receptionist it's urgent. If you have to have a higher dose so be it. Ask for counselling too. Prioritise paying your rent. Do it as soon as you get money, everything else can wait behind the rent, then food, then council tax. Utilities and credit cards come last.

pray!

Shower, go outside, place of nature/park if possible, feel the energy that you get from this and put it into tidying and reducing clutter.

Try and do two short sessions of mindfulness/meditation every day.

https://twominutebooks.com/loving-what-is-summary/

https://archive.org/details/the-nature-of-personal-reality

https://archive.org/details/innerguidemedita00stei

https://www.bing.com/search?q=the+power+of+intention+wayne+dyer&PC=U316&FORM=CHROMN

I'm sorry op! Sounds awful for you

Please deal with this and don’t bury you head in the sand although that’s tempting. It’s not at a stage where it’s just too late to deal with it and keep your home. Why are you in arrears - is it a housing benefit issue. If so, this can be resolved. If not, then you can reach a repayment plan but it’s vital that you deal with it as soon as you can.

If you get housing benefit or the housing element of UC, apply for a Discretionary Housing Payment for your rent arrears. You apply to your local council. There will be info in their website about how to apply.

Hope you feel better soon, OP.

Sounds tough OP. I would prioritise your rent arrears first. I know you’ve said you don’t think the land lord has picked up on it yet, but no doubt they will do at some point, and it’s far better for you to raise the issue first, then wait anxiously waiting for them to flag it. It will show that you want to be proactive, and are acknowledging the arrears. Ask whether you can just pay off the arrears bit by bit, if you can afford it. I think keeping a roof over your heads is the most important issue at the moment.