To ask why the hate for boys?

I think this is all to do with people thinking I'll have a friend for life whereas boys maybe don't tend to be so close.
I had a boy and love him just as much now he's a grown man as much as I did when he was little.
I'll admit I wanted a girl thinking she will be a companion for me but sadly it didn't happen but even if it had of my ds would still be super special I think there is something really lovely about mother and son.

Mums who have DSs? who talk to them appallingly should come down hard on such behaviour. Why do they not?

@user1477391263 "Most violent crime is committed by men, but most men do not commit violent crime."

Yes-I hope that would be taken as read In any discussion. However, it's also true that most low level anti social, aggressive public behaviour is committed by men and boys. We're not just talking about actual physical violence. Cliched, I know, but the "boys will be boys" culture does no one any favours.

True, it’s all relative and just anecdotal I suppose

thinking about it, I know others who have boys who talk to their mums appallingly

Most violent crime is committed by men, but most men do not commit violent crime. The great majority of violent crime is committed by a small hard core of very difficult people (mostly men). Focusing on that particular group is what is needed. The rest of us worrying vaguely about our sons and using buzzwords like toxic masculinity will make sod-all difference.

In addition to constituting a very small % of men, the men who commit violent crime fall roughly into two categories. There are those who engage in this kind of behavior from mid^teens through mid-twenties, but grow out of it as the hormones die down. And then there are those who remain dangerous men throughout their lives. The first group can be helped to grow out of this kind of behavior more quickly, with various interventions. It’s difficult to reform the second group; they most likely have various forms of sociopathy. Keeping them locked up and away from other people as much as possible may be the only real solution.

I get mess, grunting and moody silence and I have a daughter </bursting with pride>

Maybe real people are more complex than stereotypes?

I'd love to have a discussion about how we address the issues around masculinity in our society with everyone accepting that it's not about hating boys or men, and that it's in everyone's interest -both men and women- to bring up the next generation of men not committing 90% of violent crime and not suffering such poor mental health. Does anyone know how we could do that?

I’ve got one of each and get attitude, squealing, shrieking, mess grunting and occasionally silence from both of them. Maybe parents with only one gender can generalise their behaviour as being because they’re a boy or a girl rather than that child’s personality. I’m proud of both of them but not because of their gender.

@Libertyy I lived in Egypt and saw similar life to the one you describe. Some women were happy to be so controlled it made them feel secure. So deep the conditioning. It all felt so utterly hopeless.

Ultimately, if you can't accept to live like that, you have some hard choices ahead, but you are free and entitled to make those choices.

But please stay safe, if you make the break, please go far and stay far.

Really? I have a DS and actually, found that as soon as the kids got past the infant school stage the Girl Mums grouped up and left us to the side. It IS different being a parent of a boy to being a parent of a girl, I am sure each has its plusses and minuses.

I didn't get attitude or squealing or shrieking, i did however get mess, grunting and moody silence for a while. he has come out the other side of if now and I'm proud of the man he has become. His room is getting tidier, there is still a way to go but he is doing this for himself now.

ALL we can do is guide them and teach them how to be respectful, resilient and have manners and self-confidence and love themselves for the people they are.

We should all be proud to be either Boy Mum or Girl Mum.

It makes you extremely resentful. I hated my teenage years, I was 12 year old wearing a dress that covered my neck to my knees but because it showed my shoulders I was slut shamed and told my dad’s brother in law would be there so I couldn’t possibly wear that. I was 12?? It’s disgusting

Honestly me (when I am at my parents) and my female friends, all in our 20s, still have curfews!! “Come home as soon as it’s dark” “come home now (it’s 10pm)” “you can’t go to sleepovers with your friends” “you can’t go to hotels it’s not good for women” “your sister can’t go abroad on your own” yet the men go wherever they like and whatever time and nobody’s bothered, they could be harming women??

If it was really about keeping us safe, the curfews and restrictions and guilt tripping and emotional abuse would be aimed at men, not putting the onus on us when we don’t commit the majority of the violent crime, men do. Men even beat other men in street crime so why not just keep them at home when they’re not at work? In reality, they’re controlling women in all cultures under the guise of “keeping women safe.”

Watch if this happens how people would instantly panic and call it out as an emergency to address and how “women are just as bad” but it happens to women every single day and nobody cares, we are expected to suck it up because that’s “how the world is and women are more vulnerable”. We are getting fed up of our women being restricted because of men’s ill treatment of us. We can’t go to x place in case y and z happens, yet a man who could be the perpetrator of y and z thing happening isn’t being restricted for the safety of women. Funny that.

I also now realise this wasn’t the feminism board

Reverse the issues to teach the men a lesson. In a culture where boys are still seen as a symbol of status and femicide still happens, it hurts men more. We are their weaknesses, they can’t have boys or girls without us. Mistreat us and there won’t be boys produced because we can just get rid of them if they’re continuing to oppress us and mistreat us. The nice teaching part isn’t working societally although individual families are more proud of having daughters these days there are still inequalities, we need action.

Why would you bring girls into a world with men if you feel so strongly? Why put them through that?

@Libertyy if life is so awful for girls in your community why do you want to subject a daughter to this life? She will experience the same struggles that have made you despise men.

@Libertyy I'm sorry you've experienced this but I hope you realise that even in these communities, this harmful and controlling treatment of women and girls is not common. Changing this from your community starts with those already in it to say 'no' and start teaching the next generation.

Nope it’s genuine. Genuine issues faced by women of many cultures in particular mine. Actual feminist issues that need addressing as our women are suffering and then people make bizarre posts wondering why men are disliked, well that is why

@CurlewKate I reported the post yesterday too but didn't get a reply. Maybe it didn't work properly for me. Probably designed to get people foaming at the mouth.

I have trauma. Quite severe trauma. I would be fine having a daughter as it was daughters that were controlled for so long and still are. I also wanted to explain my resentment towards men and the misogyny we get put through on the daily and I think plenty of women can relate who also feel stuck. Yet their male relatives go here and there and have more freedom with what they can wear because it’s not as immodest for them. Yet they’re the reason we have these restrictions in the first place. They keep us inside the house for “our safety” instead of their sons who are the reason we fear for our safety. They put the onus on the wrong group of people