Lazy mornings

Oh my god I miss lazy mornings SO much! Your friend is a bit of a douche

However quite often it's a text on the morning 'do you fancy xyz in an hour' or dropping by.

I wouldn’t have liked that sort of planning with young kids anyway as I prefer to have a bit more notice.

I was going to say your friend sounds like a twat but then you updated and said she hasn't actually called you lazy. I think if you are happy doing things your way then get on with it.

If 2 people with differing approaches to time want to meet, often compromise is required.

It seems socially acceptable to say "can't you, or why don't you just get up/get ready/get organised earlier or quicker" but somehow saying "cant you meet later, stay out, or go to bed , later?" Is not the same? I wonder why that is.

I have an acquaintance who loves getting up early and eagerly telling everyone about her 6am runs But somehow its not OK to question why they need to go to bed early and get up early (for leisure) in the same way people judge people getting up late.

Surely if she wants to do something with you in the morning and you want to see her you'll just decide beforehand and make sure you're up and ready to meet in the morning though? Can't see why this is even a thing. Unless you're actually saying you won't ever do anything social with her on a day off until late morning/midday, in which case I think that's a bit inflexible.

Sounds fine to me.

You do what suits you and as long as whatever needs doing gets done, I can't see the problem. I WFH and luckily do not have to do zoom meetings, so I frequently do the initial log-in and deal with overnight emails etc., still in PJs with my morning cuppa. It doesn't bring the sky down or stop the world from turning.

Enjoy it for as long as you possibly can.

If can't stand the righteously busy, often they're just filling time so they don't have to think.

Does your friend think the human race are robots programmed to operate the same way. Its your choice how you run your life.

I was going to say the same, morning sounds great tbf and do what suits you. But are you frequently missing out on plans or saying no to things she asks you to do because of it?

either way it’s still absolutely fine if that’s what you prefer but maybe that’s why she made the comment. Don’t get me wrong, I cancel plans so we can have times like this occasionally.

It's your business, not hers

There was a recent thread on here about wearing pyjamas while you're at home. That descended into the usual nastiness from the vast majority who simply can't comprehend why people like to wear comfy pyjamas in the privacy of their own homes. They should be up and about anyway! How dare they!

We do the same level of slow as you on non-nursery days, just in reverse. We're up and about early because my toddler has his best days if we're out for a good run around in the fresh air first thing. So it's breakfast, dressed, and off to the park or the woods or feed the ducks, or to meet friends for a play. Big long walk then home for a nap.

Our afternoons are very slow. He naps for 2 hours and sometimes I join him! Then we just potter at home for the rest of the day. It's blissful and everyone needs the rest. Nursery days are tiring for them. Enjoy it!

Your friend is one of those god-awful twats who thinks getting up at the crack of dawn and doing 'activities' is some kind of sign of moral superiority.

It doesn't matter what time you get up or how you spend your mornings. You sound like you've got a nice way of doing things that works well for you and your family. You're not obliged to be available just because she wants you to entertain her at 10am. Everyone has a different body clock.

I presume your older ones are at school so you’re all up and about on those mornings anyway, so are you just talking about two mornings a week and only in the school holidays?

My DS is 10 and plays football every Saturday morning. We are up at 7am regardless but we dont actually get dressed until we leave for the game, which could be getting to an away game for 9am or a home game that's not until 12pm. I'd say this probably sums up my approach in general really...perfectly happy to potter at home but also flexible depending on what happens.

Yanbu. I'm also not one for calling on people unannounced. I actually agree with a previous poster that it can be frustrating if someone is so set in their routine that they are unwilling to do anything that might suit others but this doesn't sound like it's the case for you.

Do what suits u. I live alone, am out for work at 6.30. Long days. Whilst off have had that 2nd cup of tea, breakfast at 10 and done exactly as I please.

Also I'm neither a night owl nor early bird, I'm just a permanently exhausted pigeon!

Well your friend would hate me, we're still in our PJ's here ! Shock horror, yet the world hasn't ended ! It's the last day of holidays for us before school and work routine kicks back in and we like to be able to just potter. On weekends we don't like the make any plans before 10.30 at the earliest. One of the two adults in the house take a weekend day each to lay in, we often nap if we can too thanks to lo that doesn't sleep well we often need it!

Sounds absolutely fine. I hate rushing around in the morning, you do that most of the week so you absolutely need a few chilled out mornings.

We are sadly in a society that values early birds above owls. No idea why.

If she wants to arrange to do something with you then she needs to arrange it rather than randomly turn up - that would drive me mad. She can say ‘meet for coffee at 8.30?’ And you say ‘10.30/11 would work better’. Simple. Don’t answer the door to her in future if you can help it.

Was thinking the same.

Lazy mornings are the best

I spend most mornings like this 🫢

My parents are the worst for this. My mum wants to serve us a slap up, silver service breakfast made to order in the morning, preferably at 6.30am. We want to sleep in until 9.30, have toast and be out by 10.

She told us things would change when we had a baby, but the baby doesn't want to get up early either.

Sounds like she hasn't said anything at all to you about it, you just think she thinks this. So there is nothing to ignore. And people saying she isn't a friend?? Sounds like she has not said anything at all about it, you are surmising she thinks this.

In temperament I am much more like your friend: I am an early bird and like to pack a lot into the day. Sitting around doing nothing makes me feel very stressed and anxious.

But the bottom line is it’s none of her business how you run her life. Unless you are inconveniencing her.

Just ignore her and crack on.

Op says they go out in the morning at weekends.

I'm more of a night owl than early bird, during school holidays when my kids were young sometimes we went out for whole days, other times just afternoons, or sometimes not at all! I don't think they feel too deprived (they're teens now and hate going out early although they're always on time for school)

I really dislike people who feel the need to order other people's lives because they think there is only one "right way" to do things. I'd put your friend in this category. Her way is much better than yours and, if she just wears you down enough, you will see the light.

Both my mother and my MIL are a bit like this. To give my mother credit, she now recognises this tendency in herself. When she comes to stay, we've agreed that the kitchen and laundry cupboards are fair game for her managing tendencies so long as she refrains from meddling with anything else.