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AIBU?

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Original poster

When someone reads your message and doesn’t reply

40 replies

Ivyside · 03/01/2024 19:55

Group invite for child’s party, people have read it a several hours ago today and not replied, aibu to assume they aren’t coming then? Whenever I get an invite to something I will always reply as soon as I read it, am I being over sensitive here?

OP posts:
LilyDough · 03/01/2024 20:11

A few hours? Jeez.

Vettrianofan · 03/01/2024 20:09

Please please give others time to respond. I have several DC so don't always reply the same day even if I have seen the message.

Ihaterhymingrabbit · 03/01/2024 20:05

It’s a working day, people might be busy, then looking after kids etc

If you’d handed out paper invites you wouldn’t get a reply that quick and people shouldnt feel like they have to reply to a text invite that quick either.

Jessforless · 03/01/2024 20:05

Did you post the message today?

How many people haven’t replied? I have a couple of messages about play dates I got this morning I haven’t responded to as I need to check with DH and look at my work calendar.. that’s quite normal I think?

How old is your DC? Sounds like this might be your first party? I probably wouldn’t be asking and booking for a party the same month, that sounds quite stressful. Next year make it easier on yourself OP and ask in December next year and give yourself some time to find and book somewhere?

underneaththeash · 03/01/2024 20:03

You are - I tend to reply quite quickly, but sometimes I don't know if they'll be a clash without waiting or asking another person.

For example - DD was invited to a party mid december - we had another engagement in the dairy, which meant that we couldn't pick up or drop off, but she could go. So I had to wait until I'd asked someone else if they were going (the only other person near me), they weren't so I had to say no. That took a couple of days as the other person had to check as well.

Sapphire387 · 03/01/2024 20:03

You are massively overthinking.

I often read messages on the run and take time to write a response later.

They also have to check their diaries, etc.

If you have a date you need to book things by, post a reminder in a few days and say 'please let me know by tomorrow as I need to book'.

Kedece2410 · 03/01/2024 20:02

A couple of hours ago? That's no time at all. They could be busy, checking diaries, checking with partners or basically it's just not a priority. If they haven't responded this time next week start chasing them up but YBVU to expect immediate responses

MargaretThursday · 03/01/2024 20:02

Lots of reasons why people don't respond straight away.

They have plans that day but may be able to change them, but need to check first
They don't know if there are plans that day
They want to check their child wants to go (not all children want to go to every party, one of mine didn't like certain types)
They can't take their child that day so want to see if someone else can take them/life share
It's Dad's day so they are asking him first
They've got another party for one of their other children and are trying to see if they can work both in
They can come, but their dc doesn't like to be left, and they're on their own with 3 dc so need to find child care for the others.

Don't worry!

Taciturn · 03/01/2024 20:01

I normally like to check with rest of family to ensure there are no conflicts and also check DC want to go.

BeaRF75 · 03/01/2024 20:01

YABU. I often leave messages for a few hours, or maybe a day. If it's something important then I often need to think about it. Pretty much all my contacts do the same. Why would you expect an instant response?

squashi · 03/01/2024 20:01

Give them a chance! Not everyone replies to a message immediately after reading. If there are no replies in a day or so, you could message a date to rsvp by.

Original poster
Ivyside · 03/01/2024 20:00

No I haven’t, the party is this month though and I have mentioned I can’t actually book until I have the numbers confirmed. Just a bit concerned for my child. Perhaps I should have asked for a date for responses, it’s not something I’ve ever seen on a children’s party invite though

OP posts:
Youcannotbeseriousreally · 03/01/2024 19:59

Do yourself a favour and permanently turn off the read / delivered alerts.

it will change your life.

winkygirl · 03/01/2024 19:58

I usually wait to respond until I can write it in my diary (old school!) Or check with family commitments. This can take a few hours.

Hadalifeonce · 03/01/2024 19:57

Have you asked for a response by a certain date?

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