Luke Littler

A stupid comparison. If you can’t see the difference in a 10 year old STARTING puberty and a 16 year old having very clearly completed puberty, then I’m afraid I can’t help you.

If I knew someone who started dating a 16 year old at 21 I’d ask them why, cos it is weird.

Her mothers in the papers today talking about how she met her husband playing darts “and now her daughter could have done the same” he’s 16, her and her parents must be odd.

And for context, if my 16 year old daughter brought a 21 year old man home I’d think he was a weirdo, and vice versa.

My just turned 17year old has a full beard and hairy chest,
Its very hit and miss at that age some of his friends,the same age look like much younger teens -he looks like he's in is mid20,sat least .

This made me laugh 😆

He’s 16?! Was he born on a leap year? Did he come out looking like a baby painted by the Byzantines, complete with five o’clock shadow and a mortgage?

Anyway…yeah, strange age gap. I can’t imagine being attracted to a 16 year old at 21, they seemed like the children they were (although at 16 I recall believing myself to be essentially an adult).

He’s over the age of consent and has been for almost a year. That’s the issue here, not anyone’s judgement as to whether or not he’s a child.

*Was considered noncey.

I think you were being ridiculous for bringing my child up in the first place.

I honestly don't care about your friend's sex lives. When I was 21 back in 2013, it would have been considered nonetheless. He'll, at school, a 16 year old classmate got ribbed for dating a 13 year old.

We need stronger protections of under 18s in the UK imo, not weaker. You're free to disagree.

And I'll continue to advocate for all children, SEN or not.

I was 16 when I met my husband who was 21.
Nobody thought that was weird, in fact our son is 21 now and his gf has just turned 17.
Maybe it's seen differently when the man is older.

You’re being ridiculous in comparing your SN child to a NT 16/17.
You obviously have reasons to want to protect your child, and if they are SN then that’s understandable, but that’s not a reason to judge others who are capable of making decisions.
As for age of consent, the uk already have a much higher consent age than many other countries. I think 15/16 is just right. By the time I’d finished my GCSES more than half my friends had lost their virginity. No parent wants to believe their 15 is having sex, but if they are in a relationship it’s very very likely.

How should I know?

I don't think it matters if he does or not, but my child does. And it wouldn't matter if my child didn't anyway.

It's odd that you would feel sorry for my child for my not wanting them to date somebody well into their adulthood when she will still be in education.

@SpudleyLass Does Luke Littler have SN?

I would personally raise the age of consent to 18, so everybody knows exactly where they stand.

It's odd to me the age of 16 only applies to teachers when there are many adults in a position of authority in a child's life at that age.

You feel sorry for my SEN child as I would refuse to allow a person in their twenties to date them when she is still legally a child?

No, a 21 year old dating a 16 year old is creepy.

well lucky for you, you don’t have to! Would you comment like this to someone in realife or mind your own business…

And @Tempname24 do you believe that 16 is too old for the legal age of consent?

So as I asked @Tempname24, Would you describe a 16 year old as "a man taking his GCSEs this year"?

@whatsitcalledwhen from a biological point of view he and most other 16/17year olds are not children and have gone through puberty, therefore are not children. So while he is not an adult in the eyes of the law, he’s not a child either.
I think he perfectly capable of making informed decisions at almost 17.
@SpudleyLass really? I think that’s just being a bit ridiculous . Mumsnet is so weird! One minute your being unreasonable for not letting your 8 year old walk to school alone and being accused of babying them, next your being unreasonable for allowing your almost adult child to have a relationship with anyone other than their own age.
It’s no wonder young people are so incapable of dealing with life when the parents are treating them like infants.
I feel sorry for your kids if you have them, and you think like this- you'll be doing them no favours in the long run.

Whether he looks his age is irrelevant anyway, he is 16 whether he looks it or not and I can’t wrap my head around someone being attracted to a 16 year old at 21. Completely different stages of their lives.

I'm going to stick my head above the parapet and say I think he actually does look his age. He is a bit heavier than is ideal

And yes, the ages disturb me. For the sake of simplicity, I would ban relationships between under 18s and over 18s.

I couldn't be happy with this. He'll be 18 in just a year, can they not wait?

I think we need a safeguarding reset in this country. We don't have these laws to inconvenience the outliers who are "more mature for their age" or who "look older", we do it to protect the vulnerable.

@Tempname24

Ok didn’t realise the law changed, fair enough, but It’s embarrassing how many view 16 as a child.

But a 16 year old is literally a child. So how is it embarrassing for people to view them as such?

Would you describe a 16 year old as "a man taking his GCSEs this year"?

Agreed that when one party is under 18 five year age gaps feel more ick but they quickly don't matter as much and how people meet and the context does matter, no matter the genders.

The biggest flags to me are if one person is under 16, if the age gap goes into double figures, or if the older person is in authority over the younger eg a teacher, police officer etc.

I do think it's a situation where friends and family should be watchful absolutely but it's a weird one as he's not exactly experiencing a regular 16 year olds life right now and they bonded through a love of darts online.

It's also a very new relationship, so she's unlikely to have known him prior to him being 16 (since he's almost 17) How many people under 25 give a shit about darts? I can see why they'd bond over that.

The volume of online abuse she's been getting is a hell of a lot for anyone to deal with and will affect them both.

Yes it's not ideal, but just let the kid persue his dreams and let his family worry about watching out for his well being.