Is this not rude?

This is what I think too.

I'd have thought it was quite encouraging!

From my perspective, it sounds like she's trying to give you a compliment, like she's saying you're naturally fit and good at running 'without having to train much'. Might just be my weird way of thinking ha

You surely wouldn't allude to someone hardly training unless you were very very sure that's the case though right? Op says she does train.

If someone I knew went out and did that well in a race and they had been very clear they hadn't trained I might mention it but otherwise I would never because it feels such a clearly rude thing to say to me.

She’s under the impression you don’t train a lot

so she has said you’ve done well even though she thinks you haven’t trained a lot
Which is a compliment

training 7 days a week isn’t the best
you need rest days
get a training plan loads free online

hills
intervals
speed
endurance
heart rate
and rest days

I also read it like this, fwiw. Is your friend normally supportive of you, OP? If so, I’d give her the benefit of the doubt on this one. If she has a history of putting you down on the other hand, that puts a different slant on it…

I read it that she was amazed, in a good way, that you did so well without the training so you could maybe have a natural gift for it and could achieve much more if you trained.
It sounds to me she doesn't know you train, not implying that you should train more.
If she's normally nice and supportive I'd let it go but only you know if she has form for being bitchy, if she does it may mean something completely different.
This thread shows how someone can write something and everyone has different opinions on what they think it means.

This is how I read it

That's how I read it. That you are naturally talented at it and that you could be amazing if you really wanted to go for it.

That’s negging and it winds me up. It immediately makes you feel bad or unsure about yourself and you’re supposed to then think she’s somehow got all the answers/life figured out.

No-one needs a friend like this. You’ve achieved something great today! I achieved eating a whole bag of pickle flavoured Kettle Chips on my sofa in front of Season Three of 9-1-1. You, lady, are winning. We can always do better at anything but we also celebrate our achievements because we value them. It’s unhealthy to always be thinking ‘but I could have done better if I did X, Y & Z’.

Please, either call her out on this saying you’re proud of what you have achieved and you don’t appreciate having that minimised, maybe asking if she often feels like she doesn’t do well enough in her own pursuits, or slowly extricate yourself from this ‘friend’.

I don't think you're unreasonable for being upset cos sometimes that just happens when we're tired/drained and don't get a response we anticipated. Being sensitive isn't always a bad thing - let it out, process why you felt that way and move on without judgement of yourself.

That said,really difficult to know if your friend meant it in a rude way without knowing more about them as a person or your friendship dynamic. Do they make you feel upset often?

I can see how this could be meant as a compliment, esp if you've alluded to not training much/laziness etc. The fact that she added the 'if that is what you want' makes me think she's trying to be encouraging and has put some though into the wording so just maybe misjudged it.

It's the hardly train that's insulting isn't it? Either because she's deliberately trying to take you down a peg or two or she's put her foot in it..

There was no need for that bit. I don't know how you could take someone saying you 'hardly train' as encouragement or well meant?!

Maybe try reading it in a really positive upbeat voice. Yes it comes across harsh, but j in think it depends what tone of voice you read it in.

I’d bet that at some point you’ve made a comment or three about how you “never train”.

it’s easily done. A throw away remark when you’ve been ill or out drinking. Self deprecatingly when you’re embarrassed by the attention.

she’s seized on that and is telling you how impressed she is with your natural talent. The thoughtful “if that’s what you want”
tells me this isn’t a mean comment

Sorry, X posted.

Just point out that you do train very hard. She's obviously unaware of that.

Is she right? Do you hardly train?

If so, you've done even better, haven't you! 🥉🧘‍♂️

If she's wrong then just tell her she's mistaken 🤷‍♂️

She sounds envious.
maybe she wants to train but can’t find the time however she believes it’s easier to knock you down a notch or two rather than admit that.

I personally, think your time is bloody awesome!
well done and please be proud!

I don't think it's rude at all but assiduously is a prick of a word

I'd take that as encouragement, certainly wouldn't make me cry.

Yes. This too.

Your response sounds entirely disproportionate — why did it upset you so much? Why would her estimation of your training schedule matter?

I have friends who do extreme ultramarathons. One has arranged his entire life around his training — his job (dropped out of industry and runs a hostel and outward bound centre he can leave to staff when he’s racing), his decision to be single and childfree, his eating and sleeping times, amounts etc.

He would probably think the other friend ‘hardly trains’ for the one annual ultra he does, because the other friend has three children (divorced and has them 50% of the time), a demanding, long-hours professional job split between two cities, and is seldom able to do long training runs, but the race is important to him.

That was rude and very grudging. People can be blunt and no nonsense without being rude or belittling like that, she could have said 'Fab, you must be pleased' and left it at that. I wouldn't bother replying to her or getting into a discussion with her about it. She might like to belittle people to make herself feel good. Ignore it and enjoy your achievements! Next time don't include her in your messages.

I’ve read the message a different way and don’t find it offensive at all. I’m sure she knows that you work full time so what she is saying is that you did really well considering you hardly train (because you work etc) and that you would be absolutely amazing if you had time to train more. To me the message is implying that you have a natural talent for running.