Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sleeping on an airbed?

34 replies

Christmasgrinch234 · 31/12/2023 12:44

I know this isn’t the end of the world, but I think being sleep deprived and being expected to sleep on an air bed tonight is rubbing me up the wrong way. My family was hosting Xmas. Everyone had a bed apart from us (myself, DH & DD 2 months). We were downstairs on a deflating airbed. We did switch to sleeping on the sofas in the living room on night two as we woke up literally on the floor after night one.

Night two was slightly better as it was easier to feed DD and better than essentially on the floor. We’ve been asked for tonight to not be on the sofas as it means they can’t watch tele first thing (there is another tele in the house if they’re that desperate). Being in the other room on the airbed means there’s barely any room to move in, having to change DD on the floor/nowhere to put her bits etc.

My family are also hosting something tonight. We’ve said we’re going to drive home and come back tomorrow. I’ve been made out to feel like I’m some prized ungrateful princess.

DH thinks they’re out of order for us for giving us such little regard in the pecking order. SIL said the kids should be on the floor and us in their room.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Sherrystrull · 31/12/2023 16:20

Please can you clarify who is in each bedroom and whose house it is. Thanks

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 31/12/2023 16:09

I don’t understand why you’ve not just gone home?

TedWilson · 31/12/2023 16:00

Who puts a new mum on the floor ffs. OP I'm angry on your behalf.

PegasusReturns · 31/12/2023 14:30

Who wants to watch TV in the morning and why does it matter whether you are on the sofa or on the air bed - are you not entitled to some peace and quiet and privacy?!

id be leaving is making other plans for tomorrow

PiggieWig · 31/12/2023 14:24

The kids can’t share in case they argue? I can’t think of anything more likely to cause an argument between a couple than being forced to sleep on an airbed with their two month old baby. What about you and DH?

You aren’t a princess for wanting to go home. You are a saint for having stuck it out so long.

persisted · 31/12/2023 14:23

I have learned that what My parents consider to be 'wonderful' often translates as a shit time for me. After various shenanigans last year I have stopped playing.

Getting up and down from an airbed is hard enough, let alone with a baby shortly after birth. They are being ridiculous to expect it.

The children suck it up and go on the airbed, who cares if they argue, or you go home.

Any accusations of being a drama queen ' yes, damn right I am. I'm nacred and my back hurts, you sleep on the floor if your that keen. We'll see you in the morning.'

Turmerictolly · 31/12/2023 14:21

Go home after the gathering and return tomorrow (as long as it's not too far away and one is happy to drive).

jeffuk2015 · 31/12/2023 14:16

"I’ve been made out to feel like I’m some prized ungrateful princess."

Airbed vs no airbed is not even the issue when you stop and think about it.
The issue is controlling and guilt-shaming behaviour.
Like many others, I like my own space. People can f**king annoying, including family.
Being stoic here benefits nobody. Go home and tend your body's needs.

Curiosity101 · 31/12/2023 14:10

It probably is wonderful for your parents to have everyone under one roof

That doesn't mean it isn't unpleasant sleeping arrangements for you.

"We're going to set off home tonight at <x>. What time should we aim to be back tomorrow, we were thinking <y>?" You've already mentioned the reason by the sounds of it so no need to reiterate the air mattress. It's good to start working on enforcing healthy boundaries.

And if they counter with something about getting a new air mattress you just hold firm. "We really need to get as much of a proper night's sleep as we can. I think it'll be best if we do that at home. We'll be back at <y>"

Zippedydoodahday · 31/12/2023 14:02

I'm confused. Is it your kids asleep in a room upstairs?

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/12/2023 14:02

The kids are in separate bedrooms upstairs as apparently the grandparents don’t want them sharing incase they argue - SIL/Bro thinks they should just suck it up.

I wouldn't be there in the first place, never mind leaving. That's madness.

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 31/12/2023 13:58

Your SIL is correct, your parents are being ridiculous.
I would have gone home long before now.

Theinnocenteyeballsinthesky · 31/12/2023 13:57

Nope!! Children on the air beds, adults especially ones with 8 week old babies get beds.

your solution is entirely sensible OP & ILs are being arses

ThinWomansBrain · 31/12/2023 13:56

take the cushions off of the sofa, leave the airbed in the room where the sofas are.
cushions flat on a floor are generally comfier than being on the sofa itself.

TBH, if you live close enough to contemplate going home this evening and returning tomorrow, I don't think I'd have stayed more than one night TBH.

Violetparis · 31/12/2023 13:55

Go home, get a decent nights sleep and return tomorrow. How far away are you ?

Sauvblanctime · 31/12/2023 13:54

8 week old baby nope I’d be at home. You can’t sleep on an airbed with a newborn

Original poster
Christmasgrinch234 · 31/12/2023 13:53

Varied responses which I appreciate.

The solution offered was for us to buy a better airbed. Ours wasn’t cheap one to begin with but I don’t think they’re designed to be constantly getting up and down during the night to see to the baby. Really awkward as I can’t get up off the bed with the baby either. I’m also not back to my usual way physically either therefore the back ache added onto exhaustion really doesn’t add to the festive spirit.

One hand the family are really laying on ‘the whole family under the same roof is wonderful’ and we’re the ones spoiling that. The kids are in separate bedrooms upstairs as apparently the grandparents don’t want them sharing incase they argue - SIL/Bro thinks they should just suck it up.

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 31/12/2023 13:49

…any friends who like camping? Put a call out on FB for a decent air mattress (and other camping things that might be of use)

RowanMayfair · 31/12/2023 13:30

averylongtimeago · 31/12/2023 13:01

You can get an airbed for £20

www.argos.co.uk/browse/sports-and-leisure/camping-and-caravanning/air-beds/c:30507/size:double/

Those are shit. They already tried sleeping on one of those and it collapsed.

jeffuk2015 · 31/12/2023 13:23

"We’ve been asked for tonight to not be on the sofas as it means they can’t watch tele first thing"

Sorry to be so blunt but this is shit family dynamics. I mean how dysfunctional do you have to be to deny your own kin a kip on the sofa as it's apparently spoiling someone's television viewing?
Actions or non-actions have consequences.
They don't want to treat you in a civilized manner?
Then just leave, content in the knowledge that you're not like them.
Stuff them.

bravotango · 31/12/2023 13:11

You have an 8 week old baby? You choose where you sleep.

PinkflowersWhiteBerries · 31/12/2023 13:09

The airbed was shit, and apparently the sofas are off limits ; you have proposed a sensible alternative , as has SIL. You are not being precious. This is your own family, so you don’t have to pussy foot around them. Pick whichever alternative works better for you, and tell them that’s what’s happening.

Tawlk · 31/12/2023 13:05

Is there bigger kids in beds elsewhere in the house, surely they could give you those beds and the other kids could have a little airbed party in the living. Kids would love that! There’s now way I’d be on n airbed with a 2 month old, and being 2 months pp I’d want comfort! I wouldn’t have stayed one night let alone 2! You’re not being awkward don’t worry x

Angharad78 · 31/12/2023 13:03

you have an 8 week old baby! I don’t think you sound precious at all. So, your niece / nephews are in beds and you’re not?

1990s · 31/12/2023 13:02

They’re making you sleep on an airbed with a 2 month old?! Errr not what I’d be doing. I’d be on the air bed and you’d be in my bed.