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Poo-gate, what to do?

310 replies

notallmenbutalwaysaman · 30/12/2023 05:00

To be honest I just need to rant, I know IANBU but don't know what to do except seethe.

Just before LTB comments start- DH is usually lovely and rarely drinks.

DH went out last night- fine. He had no key and was utterly incoherent when I tried to call/text so I waited up until 2am for him to get home so I could lock up. Then went to bed and he was snoring- I kid you not- like he had some sort of jet engine installed in his chest. He also kept violently shaking and making the bed move like there was some sort of earthquake. He seemed fine medically, just very very drunk. I'm 7 months pregnant, perpetually exhausted, and can barely sleep as it is so obviously couldn't cope with this. He wouldn't stop it or wake up fully when I asked (yelled) at him to go and sleep on the sofa if he was so drunk, and in fact kept telling me to fuck off. So, 2.30am I get my stuff and go sleep on the sofa, which isn't the comfiest when heavily pregnant but is better than a bed installed with earthquake plates.

I must've fallen asleep because at 4am I am awoken by all the lights suddenly being on and an almightly banging in the hallway and kitchen. The washing machine is also inexplicibly on and so obviously the whole living room/kitchen wall has decided to get in on the action and is being as loud as it can possibly be. I try and sleep through it for about 20 minutes before getting up to see what on earth is going on. DH is now fast asleep again, sprawled across the whole bed, but there is a massive stinking pile of poo on the hallway carpet, with splatters leading in to the kitchen. The bathtub is FULL of what I can only describe as poo-confetti. Everything stinks. It's not diarrhea- I'd be a little more understanding of that- but actual solid poo. Now I'm awake (as are, unfortunately, my nostrils) I can't get back to sleep. My back and legs are killing me from sitting/lying on the sofa but absolutely no way do I want to get back in to bed with him (doubt he'd even make room) and I am refusing to clean up on principle but the whole downstairs utterly reeks. He won't clean up- he's still totally incoherent and is refusing to move out of bed.

So now I'm sat here on the sofa, in pain and furious, unable to sleep. What on earth do I do now? I've nowhere to go without a 2+ hour drive which I'm too tired for. What on earth do I do when he wakes up/what is an appropriate punishment/way for him to make up for this? Utterly grossed out and fuming.

OP posts:
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Nanaof1 · 02/01/2024 07:06

@notallmenbutalwaysaman

I am so sorry that you are facing this upheaval in your life. He is a total loser to have done everything he has done. Cheating on you is the lowest of the low and to tell you when you are so vulnerable is just another example of how horrid he truly is.

I would call a professional cleaning company to come and sort the carpet, bedclothes and washing machine. I hope there are companies like that in the UK or wherever you are. They have the heavy-duty machinery and disinfectants needed to get the job done.

I know you probably will not be back to this thread, but please know that there are many of us thinking of you and wishing you the very best as you navigate this new reality. Please take care of yourself and your baby. You two need to be the priority.

{{HUGS}}

Midnightgrey · 01/01/2024 16:44

It also appears that after a very rudimentary clean her husband has, in fact, cleared off. So it's ludicrous to suggest that the OP who is heavily pregnant and distraught should have a relaxing spa day while her cheating spouse works on getting his own excrement fully out of the flooring.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/01/2024 13:56

@Penguin34 the OP said her husband has cheated on her. Not just once, but multiple times. Then you suggested a spa day.

CustardySergeant · 01/01/2024 11:33

Penguin34 · 01/01/2024 07:54

@EmmaGrundyForPM where did she say he cheated???
My skim reading my hat be getting worse cos it seems he got smashed and shit himself.
When was the cheating???

Look at this post from the OP:-

notallmenbutalwaysaman · 30/12/2023 19:44

"He cheated- not going to go in to more details and it wasn't last night but has been a reoccuring thing (at random) for a while."

Tilllly · 01/01/2024 09:20

@Penguin34
Things have moved on
OPs H, whilst still drunk, has said he's cheated on her also

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 09:11

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/01/2024 01:57

Its only on MN that the answer to "just found out my husbands been having an affair, what should I do?" is "have a spa day"

@Penguin34 do you really think a spa day will help the OP come to terms with the fact that her husband is a cheating bastard?

Won’t make her feel worse!

Penguin34 · 01/01/2024 08:11

@EmmaGrundyForPM I'm suggesting she be in a spa relaxing while he completely cleans the shit out the house. I mean, she could stay there in that disgusting place knackered and pregnant or clean it for him. Im suggesting get some rest and then deal with the problem once the house isn't covered in shit.
What's the problem there?
Do you think she should be the one to clean it then? Or hash it out now sitting on the shit covered landing?
Why would anyone think a spa day would solve a cheating bastard.
Getting so pissed you shit yourself is terrible, but he's usually one too the good ones and they're having a baby so in my opinion working through this shit situation would be better but get out the house till it's an ok place to be!

Penguin34 · 01/01/2024 07:54

@EmmaGrundyForPM where did she say he cheated???
My skim reading my hat be getting worse cos it seems he got smashed and shit himself.
When was the cheating???

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/01/2024 01:57

Penguin34 · 30/12/2023 22:49

Lovely hotel with a spa with mamma to be treatments - lots of them - on him.
Wait for him to call, say nothing while he talks himself in circles and hopefully be deathly sorry.
Stay another night and say you expect the entire house to have a professional standard of cleaning

Its only on MN that the answer to "just found out my husbands been having an affair, what should I do?" is "have a spa day"

@Penguin34 do you really think a spa day will help the OP come to terms with the fact that her husband is a cheating bastard?

Balloonhearts · 31/12/2023 14:49

If you have any of his credit cards saved, I'd use them to buy new carpet for the hall and replace anything he has ruined. Vile man.

AnneValentine · 31/12/2023 14:42

KatSlatersCoat · 31/12/2023 14:25

For goodness sake give it a rest. How is this helping the op?

How is this? Seriously. 🙄

Crazycrazylady · 31/12/2023 14:28

Op
I'm so sorry . What a rubbish rubbish year end for you. There seems to have been a lot of that this year on here.
Take your time to decide what you want x

KatSlatersCoat · 31/12/2023 14:25

For goodness sake give it a rest. How is this helping the op?

AnneValentine · 31/12/2023 14:18

Goldypants · 31/12/2023 13:54

The thread police 👮

Well you’re not. And if you can’t see the irony in your post you’re not even close to being qualified.

Allfur · 31/12/2023 13:56

Telling others to keep quiet is not really your job

Goldypants · 31/12/2023 13:54

The thread police 👮

AnneValentine · 31/12/2023 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MaryHinges · 31/12/2023 13:31

AnneValentine · 31/12/2023 11:40

That was not a joke and if it was it was an entirely inappropriate time.

And this thread is an entirely inappropriate place. Take it to private massage or give it a rest please.

justasking111 · 31/12/2023 13:30

I can't imagine being pregnant and my world caving in on a single night. It's so awful. I wouldn't expect OP to return to this thread.

Goldypants · 31/12/2023 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AnneValentine · 31/12/2023 11:40

Calliopespa · 31/12/2023 10:50

I’m sorry Anne: it was actually a joke but sometimes that doesn’t come across in type.

That was not a joke and if it was it was an entirely inappropriate time.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 31/12/2023 10:53

@AnneValentine and @Calliopespa your spat really isn't adding anything useful to this thread. Please stop.

OP, as others have said, make sure you have access to financial statements etc. If he's cheated on you he's also very capable of screwing you over financially.

Speak to a close friend or relative. You need support right now.

Calliopespa · 31/12/2023 10:52

Was hoping OP had update. She said she had people a couple of hours away in her first post.

Calliopespa · 31/12/2023 10:51

Goldypants · 31/12/2023 10:12

Oh god you two. Move on

Yes. Moved on.

Calliopespa · 31/12/2023 10:50

AnneValentine · 31/12/2023 08:37

Your opening comment to me was passive aggressive. I responded accordingly.

I’m sorry Anne: it was actually a joke but sometimes that doesn’t come across in type.