10 year old attitude

whilst i do agree that i suspect the Op isn’t the least bit concerned about her nephew but rather spent a few days with a cats bum expression whilst visiting her sister with whom she’s not close to.

What she describes does sound rude

but again - i would hazard a guess she’s exaggerating

What a horrible thread. Feigning naivety around screen time/devices so you can slag off your 10 year old nephew. I don't think there's one genuine question within this thread.

rochethenut
The may not have noticed or maybe they pulled him up on it afterwards or were too embarrassed in the moment. Maybe HE didn’t hear or notice (which yes is awful sometimes other times reasonable). I’m not saying either were justified or in the right, I’m just saying assuming kids are awful full time on the basis of meeting a few times doesn’t really work. I’ve not like people/kids before then realised afterwards they were nice and it just happened to be the circumstances under which we met/were around each other (including a friend of ds’ I didn’t like for a whole two years then heard the true situation behind the first few times I met him)

@stayathomer

he made his parent tie his shoelaces? And his parents obliged?

He ignored people when spoken to. The parents never once addressed this.

rochethenut

stayathomer

what it sounds like to me is piss poor parenting
On the basis of one bad visit?!
have a careful read of the Op

and generally good parents don’t allow a few days “off” where the child can ignore people when spoken to; demand that parents tie his shoe laces, have his phone at every meal time with family staying over.
Sorry but I still think what I said stands, you can meet a child a few times or stay with them a bit but not know what they’re like because maybe the atmosphere has been more stressed because of visitors/trying to get things ready etc. We’ve had a ton of visitors/ met up with a load of people this Christmas- some will be going home saying my kids were chatty and lovely, others saying they didn’t really interact/ were on screens too much/ rude, it’s the luck of the draw with kids. With life actually, sometimes I have great chats with people other times I’m wrecked/ stressed/ just have nothing to say!

Not at 10 you don’t need to!

Neither of mine had a phone until secondary school. Both of mine loved Lego etc at that age.

It’s sad to read that a 10 year old is glued to his phone and you don’t have to bring yours up like this.

have a careful read of the Op

and generally good parents don’t allow a few days “off” where the child can ignore people when spoken to; demand that parents tie his shoe laces, have his phone at every meal time with family staying over.

what it sounds like to me is piss poor parenting
On the basis of one bad visit?!

This.

But congratulations @PostOfficeInTheCoop on being so highly judgemental of a situation you clearly know absolutely nothing about.

I am NC with my sister because her attitude is even worse than yours.

Focus on your 4 year old and stop being such a mean cow about tour sisters son.

My DS and his mates are very sporty, so spend alot of time outside kicking a football about (I’m
guessing that might not have been possible for your nephew over xmas). They spend a lot of time chatting about football - swapping/ collecting football cards. They do all play on consoles - quite often on headsets so they can talk to each other as they play. He’s not very into Lego but he’s very into chess & other board games. He’s also a big reader - I don’t know if that’s as common amongst his peers, my eldest is a real book worm so he might’ve got it from her. Him & his mates can be a bit giddy/ wild but they’re generally sweet, chatty, well mannered lads.

does any family see them regularly? like your parents for example?

If you only ever see him at special occasions, I wonder whether he's allowed free reign on his phone to stop him from moaning about being bored or being stuck with his younger cousins?

Not ideal but I can see why it would happen.

My son can be like this sometimes out of our routine when he's tired. He's a few years younger. I think he's an introvert like me who just needs to create some alone space in between all the people things. I feel like some of the empathy goes away as they approach pre teen but I've heard it usually comes back!

Did your sister talk about how he’s doing at school?

It just seems like so much at that age, I have it all to come I guess.

I speak daily with parents who have these issues. They want them off the devices and to socialise but most of their peers will be online if they dont get their child the devices, they dont stay up to date with their peers and are left out/taunted.

i don’t recognise this in any shape or form in my daughter (10) or any of her friends

and my son didn’t behave like that nor his friends either

now he’s a teen… and yes, that is a tricky time!

Interesting, He can tell the time on a none digital clock and is quite a clever lad he just doesn't seem to apply himself. I can see loads of intellectual potential in him!

Most of the young people are referred to my services for Apathy and lack of motivation. I can tell you, for me, ALL of this got so much worse after the pandemic.

The children tell us all the time that during those couple of years they did everything on devices, school, talking to friends, playing games.
They have learned to be this way.

It was easier and more comfortable at home, they could get away with doing less work and having more apps.

Won't engage in anything that takes effort? Gaming takes effort.

When you say he ignores you, is this when he's busy on a phone/device? Chances are he's concentrating. Or if not, he's probably bored and tuned out.

(Boris Johnson I mean!)