Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spooky thread alert

128 replies

Youngmewouldsaywhat · 28/12/2023 21:41

I am a grown up woman and my mother passed away recently.
I was very very sick last week and feeling a bit sorry for myself as thinking nobody really cares if I am not well apart from DH who’s been fantastic. In laws are not very demonstrative but to be fair don’t expect anyone to look after them either and when sick they tend to disappear. My own siblings tend to contact me when they need something but not very good if I need the support.

Anyways I survived and I am getting better every day. Now the spooky bit.

i went for a nap this afternoon as I felt exhausted and then I woke up with a bolt as I had something planned. I overslept so I sat up right quickly and opened and closed my eyes in the room that was dark but not too dark as it was 4 pm. Oh well I swear I saw my mum sitting up in bed all bathed in purple light. It was her alive and chatting like keeping me company.
I am sure it was not a dream as I was dreaming something totally different (I remember the dream) and she wasn’t in the dream. She was more like casually sitting up in the bed next to me and looking like her usual self I remember before she passed away. This didn’t scare me but made me feel like she was next to me saying look I am still here.

what is my AIBU?

AIBU - I imagined this and deceased relatives don’t come back to see us
AINBU - there’s still some conscience of deceased ones floating around and I just happened to capture some

I am puzzled tbh as it’s never happened to me. Maybe I am experiencing delirium 😜 but I am not that sick anymore just very very fatigued.

and since I am in bed not well… I would love to hear your spooky stories if you have any.

if you don’t believe please be kind…and let’s keep an open mind. It’s really nice to think that my mum was there today!

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 01/01/2024 13:55

Thank you @Moier
what a lovely message!
what’s a spiritualist church if you don’t mind me asking?

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 01/01/2024 13:53

@brandyberry wow that is the book I was looking for. Great reading list I have now.

i am like you in a sense that I am very very logical but what happens in dreams help me make sense of reality.

having closure with dear ones who’s have passed away is the greatest and quickest way to deal with grief and mourning. My dear mum comes into my dreams all the times.

Also I had a dear friend who passed away suddenly visiting me to tell me it’s all good on the other side and he can now help heal people! That made me smile but deep down made me hopeful that somehow we acquire super powers on the other side! 😜

it’s a parallel world that our subconscious creates??

OP posts:
Moier · 01/01/2024 13:52

I am a Spiritualist and go to my local Spiritualist church.. the same one my lovely Mum used to attend .
She passed 29 years ago now but she often visits me..
I am living in the family home.
Sometimes she leaves me white feathers.
It's not spooky.. it's comforting.
And who is anyone to judge.
Wishing you an happy and healthy new year.
P.S perhaps you might enjoy an evening at your local Spiritualist church ( you might receive a message).

Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 01/01/2024 13:48

@Newyearnewstart2024 thank you for the suggestion! On my list now.

i love love this thread thank you.
And I love your user name @Newyearnewstart2024 !

feeling better today and looking ahead to 2024 in an optimistic way finally.

wishing you all a great new year …

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 01/01/2024 13:46

@gratefulforcousins Pets are pure essence of unconditional love and so many stories on this. We are likely to miss them and feel them in the rawest form. Thank you for sharing ❤️ and sorry about your loss

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 01/01/2024 13:45

@Apolloneuro what a fascinating read! Thank you for sharing ❤️🙏🏻

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 01/01/2024 13:44

@Pinkyandthebrain96 they said young kids are more open to these kind of experiences as they don’t have an opinion about whether to believe or not yet! Therefore that doesn’t surprise me

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 01/01/2024 13:39

@Snowflakecookie1989 this seems to be a common dream. I had the same when my late father passed away. Telephone calls in dreams means someone is trying to establish a communication with you I read somewhere.

it feels like grieving becomes easier when you think that dying of physical body is not finite but there could still be contact after that.

I read also that we are all linked by invisible threads in our families and when someone dies those threads are severed and it’s physically painful to experience. Creating a spiritual link again can help soften the blow. This was from Barbara Brennan school of thought of anyone is interested to learn more.

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 01/01/2024 13:35

@AelinAshriver what a dreadful experience for your mum. Women in the olden days have suffered more than we will ever know and how comforting that her ancestor was there to provide the strength to carry on. I pray for all the pain and suffering the ‘weakers” had to endure in silence. I hope everyone is at peace now. Sending you lots of love ❤️

OP posts:
brandyberry · 31/12/2023 09:47

Youngmewouldsaywhat · 30/12/2023 20:14

@Bigcoatweather that would really spook me up! You must have had a very strong link with your friend. How can we logically explain these type of events… the more I read the more I believe!

Thank you everyone for sharing. Parents calling out names also seems quite common.

I am sure there is a book on these type of events that was written by a nurse doing palliative care but now the title escapes me

It’s called The In-Between by Hadley Vlahos. Similarly, my mum sat with my grandad in his final moments. She said he called out for his twin sister (who passed years before) as though she were in the room with them.

This is a really long post - sorry!

I believe our loved ones can use our dreams to visit too. Some time after my DM’s dad passed away, I dreamt that I was in his house with my grandma, mum and sister. We were just talking and he walked down their stairs. In the dream, my grandma didn’t see him but me, mum and sister did. Dream me was aware he had passed away and we couldn’t talk to him but could exist together at least. Later that day, my mum told me she’d dreamt about her dad. She described the same dream and added that it was weird because my sister had had the same dream too. I believe that was his way of saying goodbye.

After my other grandad passed away, I had a similar dream but this one seemed like it was the opportunity to talk to him about the things he’d missed that I wish he’d been here for - I got engaged, married and had my first child after he passed. He loved my now husband and I know he’d have loved having a great-grandson.

Finally, my auntie passed suddenly and tragically in January. We were very close but I didn’t get a chance to visit her before she died - I was due to visit the day she passed away. I was pregnant again and was going to tell her that day. She has visited in dreams twice. Similarly to my dream with my mum’s dad, she can’t communicate with me verbally but it’s like she’s letting me know she’s still around.

My uncle wasn’t with her when she passed. She was in hospital. He told us that the morning she died, he felt her side of the bed dip, like she’d climbed in next to him.

Beyond this, I’ve always applied logic and skepticism but there have been odd occurrences in our house that make me feel comforted rather than scared. I like to think it’s my grandad’s visiting. Happy to elaborate if anybody is interested.

Newyearnewstart2024 · 31/12/2023 08:09

Hi how lovely for you. I'd suggest reading 'the light between us' and 'signs' by Laura Lynn Jackson. Xx

gratefulforcousins · 31/12/2023 07:58

The night after our old lady dog died we closed he bedroom door for the first time. She slept on the landing buy if you closed the door she would sniff and scrape at the bottom of he door to come in. At about 1 o'clock in hr morning my husband and I woke to hear a sniffing and scraping at the bottom of the door. As son as I got up it stopped but I opened the door and invited her into the bed, where she wasn't allowed in life! It hasn't happened since but I love to think its her.

Apolloneuro · 31/12/2023 07:58

In 2022, some scientists won a Nobel prize for their work on something called Quantum Entanglement. Most simply, it describes how particles can be attached, even when apart.

In years to come, I think this will begin to explain some of the things described in this thread.

https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/physics/2022/press-release/

The Nobel Prize in Physics 2022

The Nobel Prize in Physics 2022 was awarded jointly to Alain Aspect, John F. Clauser and Anton Zeilinger "for experiments with entangled photons, establishing the violation of Bell inequalities and pioneering quantum information science"

https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/physics/2022/press-release/

Schoolhelp23 · 31/12/2023 07:57

@Snowflakecookie1989 I lost my Dad in Jan and that's exactly how I feel about NYE. A year further away from him.

Pinkyandthebrain96 · 31/12/2023 07:37

My DS who is now late 20's was very close to his GGran who was my nan .She passed away suddenly of a heart attack when he was 10.Tne night she died he was in his room but he saw my DF at the side of the bed smiling at him and he felt consoled .Thing is while it consoled him it also make him think what on earth is happening as my DF at the time was still alive. But he had a twin brother who was born stillborn. We are convinced to this day as he is that he saw my DF twin.

Snowflakecookie1989 · 31/12/2023 06:46

I do find these events reassuring and makes me think this life isn't the end. There's more we don't know about...

Snowflakecookie1989 · 30/12/2023 23:20

I lost my lovely dad to colon cancer 5 years next march. I've had a couple of dreams where the phone has rung and I've heard my dad say hello. I hate new year. It's just another reminder that I'm a year further away from my dad,if that makes. Sense 😭

AelinAshriver · 30/12/2023 22:53

Not my story but my mum's.

She was having a terrible time with my abusive father. She was at the end of her tether and laying in bed, sobbing and distressed. She had recently had surgery and was on some pretty strong pain meds that made her sleepy so was just drifting off, when she felt someone sit on the edge of the bed and put their hand on my mum's hand in comfort.

She opened her eyes thinking it was my horrible father.

But it was her beloved Nana. Who had passed 15/20 years prior.🩷

I mean it was probably the pain meds. Or that she was going through a really emotional and traumatic time...

But she swears it was her Nana. And that moment gave her the comfort and strength to go on. So whether it was real or not, it doesn't actually matter. And I'm so glad you got you see your Mum, OP :)

Squeezita · 30/12/2023 22:47

Youngmewouldsaywhat · 30/12/2023 22:03

@Squeezita I respect your point of view.

However nothing has been proved or disproven and I like to keep an open mind.

Being religious takes a lot of faith and I am curious on how you believe in your faith but not on other possibilities?

Thanks, I respect your pov and your experiences too.

I’m extremely sensitive to any atmosphere, and I have seen some scary things that I can’t explain. However, none of it has ever been related to ghosts or spirits so my view is that if I am so sensitive to this stuff and I haven’t seen anything like that then it doesn’t exist.

Itiswhysofew · 30/12/2023 22:39

Things happen in my house, but they don't worry me, they just puzzle me.

The latest thing happened last week when I mislaid an earbud in my bed. I searched under the bed, in it, shook the duvet, but there was no trace of it. I left the duvet in a crumpled state and walked away, knowing that it'd turn up. I went back a few minutes later and there it was, right on top of the crumpled duvet that I'd vigorously shaken.

About a year ago, I woke up in the night and saw a hologram of OH at the end of my bed. He was working away from home at the time. I wasn't disturbed by it. It brought me a feeling of comfort and I was definitely awake.

I regularly smell a lovely scent in my bedroom. Nothing like the perfume I wear.

I hear my mum calling out my name, even though we live hundreds of miles apart.

Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 30/12/2023 22:07

@Atriskofscurvy your granny must be missing you too! What privilege you had to have such a great grandmother in your life. Not everyone does 🥰💐

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 30/12/2023 22:06

@MummyJ36 what a lovely dream! Thank you for sharing. They say that in dreams we can access different realities not accessible in our “awake” status.
sending you love and 💐🙏🏻 prayers

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 30/12/2023 22:03

@Squeezita I respect your point of view.

However nothing has been proved or disproven and I like to keep an open mind.

Being religious takes a lot of faith and I am curious on how you believe in your faith but not on other possibilities?

OP posts:
FeetupTvon · 30/12/2023 21:24

We had to have our beloved dog put down after 18 years. Later that afternoon I heard her barking in the garden near our back door. There are no other dogs in our area.

Squeezita · 30/12/2023 21:13

AIBU - I imagined this and deceased relatives don’t come back to see us

It’s this for me I’m afraid. I’m very religious but I believe death is final and there is no part of our soul or spirit left on Earth when we die.

When my dad passed away (quite young) I had a lovely dream about him which I did find very comforting.

I’m sorry about your mum. Just thinking about losing my mum as well makes me hurt.

Swipe left for the next trending thread