Am i raising a brat??

perhaps She can afford a cleaner.

Well maybe try phrasing it helpfully, not facetiously. As if she is trying to harm her.

@Mimikyuu Congrats OP on a nice thread. 😊❤️At least something some of us can relate to, as opposed to the many self-pitying threads where people made wrong choices in life and are now stuck.

As my mother would say, I caused her no bother growing up- true. But even I would struggle at 11 not to comment (aka show off) my cooking skills at home whilst attending clearly well structured cooking lessons. I probably wouldn't do it in a way that would annoy anyone as I was and remain a respectful person. Why not ask her to cook with you, or cook one item or her own meals sometimes? Do you ask her?

I loved reading and would impress my family with my reading skills. I also liked baking, so I liked being asked to bake as somehow I had a flair for baking although I don't like sweet things- my 2 older sis and mum were absolutely good cooks (and the family chef), so they were hesitant to let me cook them bad food, so I wasn't allowed to experiment with cooking much. But I enjoyed every moment when I was able to, especially when it was just me and cousins at the farm.

I cannot comment on nails though as I am proper old fashioned and, won't even have small kids in tights, inner shorts, having tummy out, makeup, lipsticks etc etc. I see people's kids in that, and despair.

Good luck @Mimikyuu . Yes, I hated tidying up 'after my own mess' too, but luckily others were on hand. The irony was, I hate messy places (to this day), so would move myself to the newly tidied area much to my sister's dismay. I did struggle as an adult to keep my place tidy (couldn't employ someone to do it for confidentiality of my also demanding job); so I would ring my eldest sis, almost in tears, for tips and encouragement. Eventually, I learnt to keep each item in its place and use 15 mins each day or so, to do so, as opposed to waiting for the weekend to do a massive tidying up, which also just left me overwhelmed and unable to get started. Also, a colleague in her late 50s once said to me, none likes tidying up, but we all have to do it. It stuck with me. Now my home looks like a show room, as I tidy up as I go. I was lucky my DH has the same standards of tidiness as me, and was encouraged kids would mimic me, and it all worked out well for me. I am quiet and at times reserved too, so was worried about loud kids- I was advised that they would mimic me and they do. :-)

That's mean. Fine to point out a risk but wait do you feed your kid cake? Are you trying to give them diabetes?

Are you referring to the possibility of allergies?

Does she get enough 1:1 time with you? Could she be struggling with the amount of time she perceives the toddler gets (obviously they need the time as they need a lot of help).

Children definitely need firm boundaries, but along with this maybe try and organise time every week where the two of you can do something undisturbed by your husband and other children. It might be her way of trying to get your attention.

Don't rise to her - no tidying, no nails - no debate.

Don't like the food - don't eat it, her choice - no debate.

Never enter into the debate - thems the rules etc.

Be firm, walk way, get her Dad to re affirm.

i don't want to argue on this thread tbh. There are very pressing issues with UV cured nail polishes but it isn't the UV, I can assure you

oh I feel totally assured by a random asserting this. Thanks

@Summasolstice i don't want to argue on this thread tbh. There are very pressing issues with UV cured nail polishes but it isn't the UV, I can assure you.

Hormones. Hormones. Hormones

My dd is 10 and fml she has been an utter shitbag this week. Obnoxiously back chatting. Refusing to do simple tasks I.e clear her presents off my lounge floor and up to her bedroom, has spoken to me like shit on her shoe, had massive meltdowns when something on an arts and crafts thing wasn't going her way etc.

She is shattered after a long and busy school term but honestly the Hormones are an absolute bitch.

She hasn't started her periods yet but judging by the teenage attitude, meltdowns and tears for no reason I am guessing it won't be long.

Top and bottom...its perfectly normal!!!

If I’m being really honest, I think you both sound a bit annoying.

in a round about way, she is likely immersing herself in cooking to impress you, and is making these comments to bond with you, and show that she can be an expert in something you’re an expert in too. To me, it all comes across as if she’s seeking your approval but going about it in the wrong way. She’s a child - her social skills aren’t perfect and it seems like she doesn’t know how best to channel her creativity or knowledge and it is coming across as being fussy or critical. It also comes across that she just wants to spend time with you and you’ve knocked her back for the toddlers. The solution likely is spending some one to one time with her uninterrupted and she’ll likely get it out of her system once she feels secure in your relationship

Yes, most people don’t bother to read the actual research (and I suppose that makes sense- if you don’t have your nails done then it won’t interest you).

As far as worry about uv exposure- people can slap some factor 50 on your hands to be on the safe side.

@Caerulea argue around it all you want but I don’t believe UV lamps on kids are a good idea if the adults are still debating the safety.

the expert likened the real-world exposure to that of a sunny day, which isn't all that scary, is it. Yes it is, kids are meant to wear sun screen. Doing nails every week is akin to sitting in the sun for a day? Absolutely not cool

Yes, really. From the study itself -

While this report demonstrates that radiation from UV-nail polish dryers is cytotoxic, genotoxic, and mutagenic, it does not provide direct evidence for an increased cancer risk in human beings.

When you read the study it was done directly on cells, not skin & that's quite important. It was also done over extreme time periods that aren't relevant to real world usage. That's not to say there might not be issues with many many years of use, time will tell. But that study isn't what the headlines said it was, but it did get headlines & that's all a lot of uni's want. In the news article you linked (which DIDN'T link to the study itself) the expert likened the real-world exposure to that of a sunny day, which isn't all that scary, is it.

?

@Caerulea really?

https://news.sky.com/story/amp/getting-a-manicure-wear-gloves-or-sunscreen-gp-warns-after-study-reveals-uv-lamp-risks-12795899

https://www.skincancer.org/blog/ask-the-expert-are-the-uv-lamps-in-the-dryers-at-the-nail-salon-safe-to-use/#:~:text=These%20lamps%20are%20typically%20used,skin%20aging%20and%20skin%20cancer.

with the cooking , what if shes the next Einstein of cooking ? @Mimikyuu

From what? The UV lamp? Cos that's really not going to happen

Your DD sounds like mine. I get the eye rolling, the huffs and the grumpiness and anger too. My Dd is not a brat as she hears the word no more than anything else!

OP, I think you are fine and your DD is just hormonal and pushing boundaries.

Just picking up on this here. She's being critical and picky about your cooking and you've told her it's 'unnecessary'. I'm with your husband here. 'Unnecessary' is being soft with her. You need to be telling her what she's doing is rude and out of order, and why is she being nasty to someone who is providing food for her?

From her point of view you're not saying it's untrue or shouldn't be said, you're saying it just wasn't necessary for her to say it. You're not telling her it's WRONG for her to say it. While you're pleased these cookery lessons have given her confidence it sounds like too much confidence perhaps. And she's turning into a cocky little madam.

You're doing her a disservice by using soft arsed phrases. Tell her she's out of order instead.

Ignore those sarky comments.
Some kids don't want their parents teaching them anything. It's often harder to learn that way too.
Absolutely nothing wrong with cooking lessons

I wouldn't want to do that housework you assigned her either. She probably had other plans for her time at that precise moment.

Well, OP was clear she needed a hand with the tidying in order to have time to do DD's nails. So it was a clear 'help me and I can help you' situation. Don't make it sound like OP is trying to raise DD to be her cleaner. DD may have had other plans but needed to realise it was time to pitch in and help.

My DD was similar from 9-10. It’s hormones.

She was much more pleasant from 11+ after going through puberty.

Much easier than 17 year old boys, I can assure you weeps and drinks more wine

You have my sympathies OP, I have 3 daughters: 11, 8 and 7...and Im dreading high school and puberty...so many people with girls have warned me about it.

I’m sure that’s her number one priority.