To have snapped at BIL

If you think she over reacted you'd be appalled at what I'd have said to him

Utter prat, I hate that kind of messing, and I also hate being touched or pulled at. I'd have absolutely fucked him out of it from a height and probably never been invited back.

The first time he did it he was 'hiding' from OP's MIL. No children involved. The second time OP had been out of the room. Is she supposed to be psychic?

BIL isn't a prankster, he's a bully.

Why can't this grown man realise it's not ok to manhandle people randomly?

Hopefully this will be an investment for the future. If you have now gained a reputation for being 'uptight' or however he wants to see it, perhaps he'll stay away.

Out of interest, are the other men ever props in his games? Does he hide behind his brother/dad and pull at his clothes?

I don’t think you overreacted but I think you should have said something on the first instance, a simple “please don’t touch me” could have had this second occurrence avoided. But you can’t changeh the past, the days over and now BIL will probably never use you as a human shield again, try not to dwell on it which I know is easier said than done.

@LizzieSiddal this is so OTT.

it has nothing to do with her being a female. He was larking about, not attacking her.

@RosesSmellLikePoo I'd have told him to STOP IT the first time. I get hurt very easily & hate being ragged about like that because it genuinely hurts (when it wouldn't hurt others). He's 24, plenty old enough to know not to pull people around like that.

Ah see this is my family. My mam describes us all as a bunch of overgrown kids. On boxing we were all playing with the kids new NERF guns and it turned into a battle between me, DS, my brother, sister and nephew.
However, no one was shot who wasn't in the game, while I did use my nephew as a human shield, no one other than us was forced to participate in the game.

I do think it's fun to be playful like that but only if everyone involved opts in to the game. You clearly hadnt so I don't think he should have involved you, but I can also see how it turned the mood sour when you told him off. I think you should have said something the first time he grabbed you.

I have a comedian in the family op, someone who everyone thinks is hilarious….but no one more than his 47 year old self.

I have no idea why these people are allowed to get away with, what is, appallingly behaviour.

I have a sense of humour …pop a bit of Father Ted on, and I’m loving life. But this over the top, bad behaviour coming from adults in the guise of hilarity is just annoying.

Our comedian is disgusting. Does gross things like wipe boogers into people . Makes a lot of noise. And his gift for mum this year was a personally designed King Charles driving race cars umbrella, which everyone (apart from me) was literally crying over, thinking that this was the ultimate.

Im past caring about looking like a humbug. I can’t be arsed to fake laugh. I’m openly called the miserable one and I suspect it’s clear these days, that I’m counting down the minutes until I go home.

So I say, don’t worry about it! Embrace being the only person who isn’t a complete twit and forget not pandering to this oh so funny crap, that left you with a knocked elbow, stretched top and spilled drink…soooooo funny.

So you tolerated his manhandling the once, he knocked you around again, and you told him not to.You didn't use profanity, or make unpleasant personal remarks. Can't see a problem. He needed telling. If he was my brother/son/husband, I would have told him to stop in no uncertain terms.

Those excusing a 24 year old grown man, as him just “playing with the children” are really doing him no favours. If he doesn’t yet know that pulling a woman around, without her permission, is NOT acceptable in any shape or form, he could be in serious trouble at some point.

YANBU. Can't believe the posters thinking you are in the wrong. Who thinks it's ok to pull on another adult like that. He's 24 not 4.

Well, I can see why you are annoyed. However, from his point of view, he’s still relatively young himself, sounds like he was larking about with the kids was in high spirits at Christmas and got carried away. I was like this in my younger day too so I kind of sympathise with him, sorry!

I think maybe a quiet word with him to clear the air would be good if you otherwise get on well. Something like ‘I know you were only having fun with the kids but it wasn’t fun for me’ sort of thing.

Yanbu. I would find that really bloody annoying, doesn't make you a party pooper or anything just like you I don't like my personal space invaded like that

Why do you think women need to be quiet all the time?

The twat pulled her round twice. There is a limit to anyone’s patience.

Yes, yes I’m a woman who has an issue with that, simply as I said she should have had a quiet word the first time. Spot on.

Why are you being arsey to OP? She didn’t want her new jumper to be pulled and stretched so asked BIL to stop.

Do you generally have a problem with women saying stop or no?

But then you did the first time. And he doesn’t, you just need to say to him. Why are you being arsey. Do you just want people to say it’s ok to have a go. Plenty will. And more.

Why so abusive? He was plying with the children on Xmas morning, it doesn’t him a twat. And there is no way she didn’t know that’s what he was doing. She simply had to quietly ask him to not include her, or move elsewhere

It’s acceptable behaviour for a 4 year old, much less so at 24. He was being a dick.

How would you have handled it? By simpering to BIL and pretending you loved being manhandled?

She didn’t overact to being manhandled by a twat.

On the contrary, some of these responses. Like yours. Show a complete lack of ability to manage a situation appropriately

Some of the responses here showing why boundaries can be a challenge to hold.

My 13 year old ds wouldn't dream of manhandling another person and he often 'plays with the kids' of the extended family. So, a 24 year old really should know better.