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AIBU?

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Do you know your husband's passcode?

393 replies

hitmewithyourbestshot21 · 27/12/2023 22:43

Just that, how many of you know your husbands/partners passcode for their phone?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 28/12/2023 12:24

No never asked

namechanger563 · 28/12/2023 12:23

Yes but I keep forgetting it. It's not that important to me but every time I need to do something on his phone I have to check the passcode again. Usually I'm doing some Tech thing to help him recover an account or sort out his Apple wallet, that kind of thing.

I used to work for a mobile phone provider and had a staff discount which I used for his phone. After about 3 years he casually asked me one day if I could read his texts or see which websites he was on. Absolutely not! But it was a bit weird and cute that he'd assumed I could. Then he asked me to unblock porn for him, I didn't even know it was blocked. I'm not bothered at all by porn and he knows that, no issues there.

Glitterblue · 28/12/2023 12:18

Yes and he knows mine. We never look at each others phones as a rule but sometimes if one of us is driving for example, we’ll ask the other to check something or message someone.

Muchof · 28/12/2023 12:16

Yes and he knows mine. But we do not use each others phones.

Parker231 · 28/12/2023 12:16

Yes - we know each others phone passcode. We also know each others passwords to access bank accounts, savings investments, pensions - no secrets

Namechange13101 · 28/12/2023 12:13

Yes, its the same as his and he and i don't have any issue with eah other using the others phone. Generally we grab whichever is closest when we're at home/out to search for things, ring someone etc.

MrsTWH · 28/12/2023 12:11

Yes we both know each other’s passcode. I also know my teens codes as well, and they know mine. Nothing to hide here!

FrecklyFrog · 28/12/2023 12:09

Nope. He doesn't know mine either. I don't open his mail either.

Evaka · 28/12/2023 12:07

Yeah, but would only use for map navigation/Spotify when we're driving.

GodDammitCecil · 28/12/2023 12:07

alwaysmovingforwards · 28/12/2023 10:18

Nope, neither of us do.

a) we use them for work, so inappropriate for others to have access.

b) if you feel the need to snoop, there is no trust there and you're in a low quality relationship.

Keeps it simple.

The OP didn’t ask about snooping. She asked whether people knew their partner’s passcode.

And as this bread has shown, most people know their partner’s passcode, but don’t go through their phone.

This is the hallmark of a healthy relationship - openness, trust and respect.

GodDammitCecil · 28/12/2023 12:04

jc12689 · 28/12/2023 08:45

I don't need to look at my partner's phone and vice versa, so I never asked and they've never randomly told me.

If there was a specific reason for looking (like they asked me to check something for them) the yes, but it's just never come up in conversation.

It's like sharing your debit card PIN number. What's the point? It's nothing to do with trust .

If you share for the sake of it and then claim you never look at their phone, it's like you're virtue signalling your trust for each other rather than just trusting each other.

Edited

How is it ‘virtue signalling’ when the only time it’s come up is on this thread. Where it’s anonymous?

Clearly, going by this thread, it’s most normal to know each other’s passcode, but not go through each other’s phone.

thebookeatinggirl · 28/12/2023 11:13

Yes, and he knows mine

SemperIdem · 28/12/2023 11:12

CrackSpackle · 27/12/2023 22:45

Yes. We know each other's code. Nothing to hide from each other, it's to protect the phone in the event of theft.

Same here

Igotagoodcard · 28/12/2023 11:09

Yes- we use the same passcode.

I also know my best friends and she knows mine- my kids and nieces and nephews all know them too.

I never look at my wife’s phone- it’s boring!

Toomuch44 · 28/12/2023 10:40

Yes, I just happened to say one day what I made me chose mine, and he said the same. We don't go through eachother's phones but have no problem checking who has texted eachother if we are out of the room and what to tell the other who's contacted them.

SquidGinn · 28/12/2023 10:29

Yes and he knows mine.

alwaysmovingforwards · 28/12/2023 10:18

Nope, neither of us do.

a) we use them for work, so inappropriate for others to have access.

b) if you feel the need to snoop, there is no trust there and you're in a low quality relationship.

Keeps it simple.

Tree12 · 28/12/2023 10:13

Yeah and he knows mine. His phone is old enough to be opened by finger print so I added my finger print too.

LizzieSiddal · 28/12/2023 10:11

”don't believe that these posters NEVER look. Why do you have his passcode anyway? What do you need it for?”

Posters throughout the thread have given many examples of why they may need it.

BIossomtoes · 28/12/2023 10:01

Goodlard · 28/12/2023 09:40

@GordoStevensMustache it does not show a lack of trust at all!

I'd argue that someone can be trusted more if they have the opportunity to do something like snoop and they don't.

This. I know my bloke’s pass code and would never look at his phone.

Longma · 28/12/2023 09:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Longma · 28/12/2023 09:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Goodlard · 28/12/2023 09:40

@GordoStevensMustache it does not show a lack of trust at all!

I'd argue that someone can be trusted more if they have the opportunity to do something like snoop and they don't.

Mumofyellows · 28/12/2023 09:34

Yes I do but only cause I sometimes want to access photos he’s taken or use his hotspot, I don’t feel the need to look at his messages or anything. I take the fact he is so open with it as a positive given my history!

In my previous marriage I didn’t know and he was quite cagey. One day he gave me his old phone as he had upgraded. He didn’t realise it would still be logged into his Facebook. I totally didn’t realise it was his account and was surprised to see lots of new messages in messenger so opened…discovered he had been having an affair for over a year.

Esgaroth · 28/12/2023 09:32

Yes, we use each other's phones when convenient. Sometimes you don't have yours on you. We don't go looking through everything but we're not hiding anything either.